Do you live with someone who tells lies? Does it make you feel stupid when he tells you stories that you know are not true? Have you ever wondered if it is due to a disease? In Psychology-Online we tell you everything related to compulsive liars so you know how to treat and help a pathological liar.
The people that have pathological tendency to lie or compulsive liars are known as mythomaniacs. The mythomania It is not considered in the DSM as an isolated disorder or as a disease, but they do have symptoms of various pathologies.
How is a compulsive liar
Compulsive liars have the following characteristics:
- The mythomaniacs they are aware that they lie and they do it generally without thinking about the consequences that their lies may have.
- They tend to lie about their life, their achievements, their work, their finances, their social relationships… even in matters that they don't really need to lie about.
- It is not easy to identify them because they make quite realistic stories and they add a lot of details. They are able to tell the same story in a different way to different people to make it more credible.
- What's more, they end up believing their own lies and they are offended when someone questions them.
- However, lies are lies after all and as time passes your version of the story may change due to forgetfulness. It is then that we begin to suspect. Sometimes, he even includes us in his stories and that does make us realize that they are not real.
- Compulsive liars differ from psychotics in that, even if they get carried away by their fantasy stories, they know deep down that they are lying.
- They are usually people who they are not comfortable with themselves, with how they are and with their circumstances.
People who regularly live with or associate with a compulsive liar are the first to realize what is happening. Their first reaction is to feel cheated, so the trust between them is broken. Mythomaniacs often lose their social relationships for this reason.
If you have to live with such a person, you are surely wondering how to treat a pathological liar. When you confront a mythomaniac with his lie, he will get angry. He may invent a thousand more stories to explain the one that you don't believe, tell you that he is going to show you and that never pass or let him say "I can't believe you don't trust me" and leave offended, thus avoiding talking about theme. The point is that nothing is usually achieved, so you have two options:
- You can enjoy your relationship with that person, thinking that he is a peculiar type and enjoying the fantastic stories of him. Yes indeed, don't expect sincerity. You will never know if he is lying to you or telling you the truth and it is exhausting to spend your life checking it. If the mythomaniac is your partner, it may bring you other benefits, such as love, affection, financial stability... But in general, a lack of trust ends up breaking couples.
- The other option, which is the usual one, is get away from that person. His stories start to bore you and you feel that he treats you like a naive, so little by little you start paying less and less attention to him. This is distancing you and usually ends at the end of the relationship. If the compulsive liar is your family member, you probably avoid him and do not count on him to make important decisions, since you cannot trust yourself.
The mythomaniac is still addicted to lies but he will hardly recognize it.
If you are an influential person for him or her you can and should try to see a professional. His life has probably already suffered the consequences of his addiction in the form of abandonment, so it is possible that he wants to recover his social environment and agrees to seek treatment.
Only a professional will be able to rule out that his behavior is due to another disorder (also necessary to treat) and will help him to get out of his addiction. The appropriate therapy in these cases is cognitive-behavioral.
Help a compulsive liar It is not an easy task, but it is not impossible either. Here are 10 tips on how to help a mythomaniac:
- Let him know that you realize his lies.
- Explain how you feel when someone lies to you.
- Put yourself in their shoes to try to understand them so that you can better help them.
- Be assertive when talking to him or her about the issue at hand. Here you will find Techniques to develop the capacity for assertiveness.
- Alert him to what could happen if his lies are discovered.
- Praise their royal qualities when you get the chance. Compulsive liars are insecure and do not have a good self-concept.
- Explain that without lies he would avoid anxiety and fear of being discovered.
- Ask him to put himself in your shoes and tell you how he would feel if the situation were reversed.
- Help him make a list of the pros and cons of lying. (The cons will win).
- Offer your collaboration and support when he decides to go to a professional.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
