All people by nature seek be part of a social circle and interact with others, some with more, others with fewer people, depending on the personality of each person, but we all like to be socially accepted. This is why one of the greatest fears that we can experience in life is the fear of being rejected by others. Nobody likes the idea of being rejected by the social circle in which it operates or when trying to enter a new one. To a certain extent, being afraid of being rejected, in the right measure, can be considered normal, However, when that fear becomes limiting, to the point of causing us unnecessary suffering, it really becomes a problem that we must solve as soon as possible.
But, How to overcome the fear of rejection? Sometimes, especially when we have that deep-rooted fear, it is usually difficult to eliminate it, however it is not impossible when you really want to do it. That is why in this Psychology-Online article, we are going to give you a series of tips that will help you know how to overcome the fear of rejection.
Index
- How people with fear of rejection act
- Consequences of being afraid of rejection
- 4 tips to overcome the fear of rejection
How people with fear of rejection act.
A person who is not limited by the fear of rejection that he may feel at times, will perceive the situations in those that are not well accepted or where it can even be ignored, in a less negative way and take it as something without so much importance. However, a person who has an excessive fear of rejection will be at all times pending the reaction of other people and he will even interpret his actions, coming to perceive them in a wrong way. For example, if a coworker who is normally always cheerful and smiling, one day arrives more serious and unwilling to talk to anyone, the person who is afraid of rejection, will interpret her seriousness as something against her, as if that person is like this because she does not want to talk of her with her.
People with fear of rejection are very susceptible to "what will they say" And if at any point they realize that someone spoke ill of them or said something that they did not like, they can feel deeply hurt and they do not stop thinking about that situation that generated so much discomfort. They are usually people who even feel judged and observed by others all the time, although not really that way. is, so they begin to distort reality and make hypotheses based on their own fear of being Rejected.
This is why they tend a lot to try to please others, acting in a way in which they believe the other wants it or isolating themselves completely from them, pretending they do not really care about contact with others and therefore their rejection.
In this other article we will discover what are the frequent fears due to low self-esteem.
Consequences of being afraid of rejection.
Among the main consequences of experiencing this exaggerated and irrational fear of rejection are the following:
Losing the opportunity to establish stable relationships
People with fear of rejection miss many opportunities to meet more people and establish with them closer ties of friendship and / or love. They stop experiencing sharing great moments with people who can become very important to them, having people by their side who can support them at all times when they are in difficult situations, moments of enjoyment and even to start a family. All these life experiences enrich and strengthen the self-esteem of each one of us, so if we stop having them we will be living a life with little meaning.
Anxiety problems
Being all the time aware of the reactions of others, feeling judged by others and not valued, can cause us to start having anxiety problems. An anxious person does not live calmly, he spends his time anxious about what may or may not happen, thinking all the time about situations in which they have conflicts, they may even have bothersome physical symptoms related to excess tension that feel.
Depression
It is not at all unusual that a person who has a fear of excessive rejection can at some point develop a depressive disorder. It is not easy for anyone to feel rejected and ignored, but people who live with that fear all the time, they get to distort reality so much that they cannot identify even when they are being well accepted. Depression alone also causes the person who suffers from it to generate negative thoughts about herself and her relationship with others all the time. This causes the person to find himself entangled in an extremely negative vicious circle and can become very destructive for him and her emotional well-being.
Not achieving vital goals
The fear of rejection is totally limiting since it not only prevents us from relating to others, but also from achieving our personal goals and objectives because out of fear itself, we stop daring to do things that are necessary to reach them. For example, a person who aims to have a family, if he feels that everyone rejects him, it will be difficult for him to have a stable partner or a person whose The objective is to want to move up in your company, if you feel this type of fear all the time, surely you will not dare to expose yourself to his superiors to be evaluated and that promoted.
4 tips to overcome the fear of rejection.
If you want to know how to overcome the fear of rejection, we recommend that you read the 4 tips that we give you below. They can help you enjoy a more satisfying life and improve your relationship with others.
Don't pretend to please everyone
Some people fall into the trap of wanting to please everyone else, which is impossible since there will always be people with whom we get along more and with whom we understand less, even those who give us totally equal or like us very much wrong. Being aware of this and seeing it as something normal is key so that we stop worrying so much about liking the other. It is important that we take this seriously because if we do not and continue to seek the approval of the other, the only thing you will do is further deteriorate our self-esteem and therefore also increase our fear of rejection.
Just be yourself
An authentic person is one who shows himself as he is to others, whether he pleases others more or less, they will not hide their own personality and will act according to their personal values. When we are afraid of rejection, we tend to act in different ways trying to conform to what others want that we are which ironically is counterproductive because in the end we end up noticing that we are not being authentic. We should not worry about what others are or want us to be, simply you have to be yourself and the right people will always be by our side.
Stop making assumptions about what others think
Stop creating hypotheses about what others think of you since it is most likely not you are getting it right and that your own fear of being rejected generates that you perceive a reality different from the one you it is. Creating hypotheses and thinking how much someone else dislikes you is only going to make you suffer unnecessarily. Remember that it is impossible to guess what others think and even if that person does not like you, there is nothing wrong with that, after all, you do not like everyone you know either.
Modify your thoughts
It is necessary that you make a modification of those negative thoughts that do not allow you to move forward and that only generate anxiety and worry. Try to perceive different situations in a more positive and more than positive, objective way. So whenever you have negative thoughts related to your fear of rejection, identify what you are having and modify them consciously by others that are more constructive and that allow you to improve as a person.
For example, if you are having thoughts like: “I am always rejected, I can never be liked by someone”, “this situation will not change, I am destined to be rejected”, if you start reflect and objectively analyze these types of thoughts you will realize that you can never generalize so stop saying that they always reject you because not all people do. they will. In the case of thinking that your situation is not going to change, ask yourself: "Why? It really can't change if I make an effort for it? Try to be as positive and realistic as possible.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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