What is SELF-CONTROL: Definition and Techniques

A large part of our daily actions are preceded by the dictates of our will, however, sometimes this is not the case, we do not do what we wanted to do or do what we do not we wanted. The question that interests us is to discover what moves us to do something, or what prevents us from acting as decided, what Encourages us to take an action knowingly that it is not appropriate, to give in to a temptation or to leave until tomorrow what we should do today. For this, it will be necessary to know how the will is formed, what distortions can occur in the process and how to control it.

In this Psychology-Online article, What is self-control: definition and techniques, you will find from what self-control depends to what are the most effective self-control techniques.

Index

1. What is the will
2. What is self-control
3. Why I have no willpower or self-control
4. Self-control techniques

The will is a faculty that the mind has to direct our actions

Will: definition of the RAE

The Dictionary of the RAE describes the will, among other meanings, with the following terms:

1. Power to decide and order their own conduct.
2. Intention, encouragement or resolution to do something.

Following this definition, we see that three basic aspects converge in the will:

• The decision to do or not to do a thing.
• An intention to carry out this decision.
• The impulse to execute the action.

Therefore, to know how the will is formed, it will be necessary to focus on these three aspects:

1. Make a decision

People do not act randomly, we do not usually choose our actions at random, especially those that have to do with important matters, in these cases it is We do after a cognitive reasoning process in which we contrast and evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of the possible behavioral responses (process of deliberation) and we choose the one that seems most appropriate, the one that brings us the most benefits (for example, to stop or not to smoke, change or maintain my attitude towards to certain situations or people, prepare for competitive examinations, look for a new job, change your address, etc.). The key to deciding on an option is in the conviction, that is, to reach the conviction that, in the face of a specific situation or question, the chosen response option is the best possible.

2. The intention to act accordingly

How to act when making a decision? The decision made about something induces a desire to carry it out, a "wanting" to do it. It is a state of mind that predisposes us to act in a certain way. The RAE dictionary defines intention as "The determination of the will in order to an end". In a similar way it is defined by Franz Brentano (philosopher of the S. XIX) which states: “Intentionality is the common characteristic of all psychological phenomena. It is the property that directs an act or event to an object or goal located in the external world ".

It is linked to a proactive attitude and it is usually conditioned by an emotional aspect: the expectation of obtaining a benefit, well-being or pleasure, or the avoidance of a damage that is attributed to the stimulus in question. It also depends on the perception we have about the sufficiency of our resources to carry out the chosen action, both psychological (self-knowledge, self-esteem, intelligence, emotional sensitivity, etc.) as material or economic that are required by virtue of the circumstances and whose lack can nullify the intention (for example: "I know that the decision is the correct one, but I do not feel capable of carrying it out"; O well: "I do not have sufficient financial resources to do it").

3. The drive to act

The intention opens the door to execute the decisive action and for this an additional energy, an impulse, is required, which It is the psychological force that moves the person to perform a certain action and persist in it until its culmination. It is related to motivation, which is a state of mind that activates, directs and maintains the person's behavior towards specific goals or ends. It implies the activation of proactive psychological forces (illusion, usefulness, obligation, necessity) but that can be slowed down by impeding forces (fear, shame, reluctance, etc.).

What is self-control? Self-control allows us to control the important aspects of our daily life: attention, thoughts, emotions, desires and actions (every day we make decisions to resist impulses that “tempt” us with the expectation of obtaining something pleasant). In this sense, we should avoid negative interference in the process of formation of the will, overcome the temptations that modify or eliminate it, and suppress the will. unconscious actions that are beyond our control (manias, ticks, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, repetitive verbal expressions and gestures, inappropriate habits, etc.).

The central question is: to what extent can we control our volitional impulses and carry out our decisions? Everything depends on the willpower and self-control that we have to make the decision made or to control the tempting impulse that arises from within us. To know how to work on self-control, it is first necessary to know what self-control is and what its components are.

Self-control: definition in psychology

What is personal self-control? The meaning of self-control is the ability that a person presents to regulate your own behavior, thoughts, and feelings.

Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist and expert in neuroscience applied to the relationship between the mind and the body, points out three different aspects within the concept of self-control:

1. The ability to resist temptations.
2. The ability to do what needs to be done.
3. The awareness of long-term goals.

How to learn to have self-control? McGonigal indicates that the most effective way to learn to control ourselves is to understand how and why we lose that control. To do this, he invites us to dissect each of our mistakes: what is it that leads us to give in to a temptation or to leave for tomorrow what we want to do today? How can we transform the knowledge of our failures into strategies to succeed?

On the other hand, it must be taken into account that complex mechanisms are involved in the formation and control of the will both psychological and physiological, and they include:

1. Of a psychological nature

The will requires a state of mind of self-consciousness, that is, a state of mind in which the person has the self awareness, that it is she who is thinking, and is doing it here and now (although in reality they are very common situations in which we are not aware of the actual factors influencing our evaluations).

Self-awareness is essential to focus attention, analyze information, and make a decision. In situations in which it does not predominate (for example, in automatic cognitive processes or in states under the influence of narcotics) the will disappears and we lose control of our acts. The importance of consciousness in relation to the will is defined by the philosopher of science David Chalmers on the basis of three faculties of consciousness:

1. Deliberate behavior control.
2. The ability to access your own mental states.
3. Integration of information through a cognitive system.

2. Physiological in nature

The will is a mental phenomenon that arises as a result of a set of underlying biological processes, therefore, it is The undeniable influence of the brain's organic structure and its functioning (conditioned by genetics and factors epigenetic). However, the will is not determined by genes or biological processes, it depends more well of other mental phenomena such as perception, interpretation, emotionality, attitude, motivation, etc.

The brain structure involved in decision-making is focused on the prefrontal cortex, which has cognitive functions, and the limbic system which is responsible for the emotional aspects that influence volitional processes. The control function depends on the communication between the two, that is, on the amplitude and directionality of the neuronal connectivity: the greater intensity of neural connections in the prefrontal cortex direction towards the limbic system, the greater control of its actions will have the person.

According to neuroscientist A. Damasio, systems are located in the prefrontal cortex through which emotion contributes to choice and decision making. It is a function of regulation of behavior by affective information, since it links the alternatives of action to body reactions (rapid heartbeat and skin sweat) as perceived as pleasant or unpleasant. This implies that the probability of a response will depend, to a certain degree, on the intensity of the force produced by the emotion associated with the event in question, which will drive the decision towards those behaviors that do not disturb our emotional stability, otherwise feelings of guilt, irritation, shame, frustration, etc. (Exposure to an emotionally charged stimulus can override our rational cognitive system and lead to impulsive actions.)

There are distortions that affect the process of will formation. During the training process, factors inherent to the person or induced by the environment may appear that introduce modifications in it or paralyze it. Leaving aside those who escape rational control (invincible obfuscation, passion irrepressible, alcoholism and drug addiction, etc.) and following the previous scheme the most common are:

1. Lack of conviction

If we are not fully convinced of the goodness of the chosen action, it is very likely that we will desist from carrying it out. Doubts generate insecurity and lower expectations about the expected result. Doubts can occur:

• Regarding the convenience of the chosen action, considering the consequences that could occur if the expected result does not occur (“if it goes wrong it will be a disaster”; "Maybe the time is not right"; "I should think again").
• On the personal capacity or the sufficiency of the available resources. ("It may not be for this"; "It is very difficult to achieve it"; "I won't be able to do it"; "I have no means"; "I am embarrased").

One of the dangers of doubt is that it opens the door to persuasion, suggestion and seduction, which are processes intended to direct or change the attitude, behavior or emotions of a person towards something or someone by using words to convey new information or a new reasoning. They are instruments used by social agents (companies, politicians, religious leaders) to modify our elections and direct them in favor of their interests, therefore we have to come to the conviction that our decision is the correct one, since a person fully convinced of something is difficult to handle.

2. Lack of sufficient motivation

Motivation is associated with the value that the result of the action has for us, so that the more satisfaction and benefits you report to us, the more illusion we will have in getting it. When the pleasant expectations about the expected result are overcome by the difficulties that this involves (be they real or imaginary) we strive to find excuses not to carry it out and it appears the abulia and its main allies: laziness, acidia, procrastination, prejudices, etc., even self-deception, which induce the mind itself to invent a justification for delaying or canceling the chosen action (we ask ourselves: is it really necessary? Is there no other option? What if it doesn't work out? information?).

3. Conflict between reason and emotion

In a large part of the actions, emotional forces tend to converge, both positive (love, illusion, altruism, responsibility, obligation, etc.) as negative (fear, anger, shame, jealousy, etc.) that affect our decision by prompting it or rejecting it. The struggle between what reason tells us we should do and what emotion prompts us to do (especially when under the control of passions) generates internal tensions that can modify the will and suppressing action (such as fear of physical pain on a medical test or embarrassment to speak in public).

In this aspect, the Cognitive Dissonance Theory of Psychologist Leon Festinger, which refers to the discomfort, tension or anxiety that people experience when their beliefs or attitudes enter into conflict with what they do (for example, we know we should punish our child, but in the end we don't because we we feel bad). This displeasure can lead to an attempt to change beliefs or attitudes (even reaching self-deception) to reduce the discomfort they produce (a typical example is that of the smoker who says: "Smoking two or three cigarettes a day does not hurt").

How to control impulses? How to exercise self-control? Following our approach, to strengthen the will it is necessary to know in which step of the process of formation of the same we are most vulnerable: in the lack of conviction; in the insecurity that weakens the intention; in the lack of energy for the impulse or in the emotional force that dominates our will at a given moment. By virtue of these four factors, the strategies can be grouped as follows self-control techniques and exercises to maintain self-control:

1. Believe in your decision

How to have self-control? Strengthening the belief that the decision taken is the most convenient. We must consider all the elements that affect the matter to be decided:

• Sufficiency, veracity and coherence of the information obtained from it
• Assessment of available resources
• Assessment of consequences

Based on all this, carry out a reasoning process appropriate to the circumstances that will lead us to obtain arguments that confirm the validity of the decision taken. The full conviction that the chosen answer is the most appropriate drives the intention to carry it out by eliminating or diminishing doubts about it.

Nobel laureate and psychologist Daniel Kahneman points out that we make decisions based on two reasoning systems:

• the implicit, which is intuitive, fast, automatic, frequent, emotional, stereotyped and subconscious (typical of impulsive or vehement people)
• and the explicit, which is slow, logical, calculating and conscious (sometimes it is too slow, as in indecisive or insecure people).

Most of our daily decisions follow the implicit system, which is more likely to make mistakes (these often appear inadvertently to our conscious mind). However, when the explicit system intervenes, in which we invest more cognitive effort, the chances of making the correct decision are greater.

2. Motivate yourself

Another of the techniques of self-control consists of obtaining enough energy to initiate the volitional impulse towards action. For it we will focus only on the incentives of the same, that is, in the benefits that we will obtain if we execute it, which act as an axis of motivation, projecting them in a reiterated in our mind until the reluctance to initiate decided action is eliminated (for example, if we have the illusion of taking a trip but laziness to organize it is an obstacle, we will have to mentally insist on the exciting aspects that prompted us to think about it travel). In this sense, we should ask ourselves if we are considering all the benefits or advantages that it would bring action or we only take into account a few, as there may be other incentives that we have not taken into account in account.

On the other hand, without prejudice to the different cognitive-behavioral techniques applicable, can be used as simple and easy-to-apply self-control training techniques:

3. Use self-instructions

Self-verbalizations or self-instructions are a system of "talking to yourself" to give yourself some guidelines behavior, thus favoring the internalization of mental processes (it is about using the role of language for its ability to replace direct experience). How to improve self-control? When a tempting thought appears towards something appealing and that implies doing something that we should not or should not do what we must, we must recover the self-conscious I so that it separates this other tempting and foolish self and tell us: Why am I thinking of doing (or not doing) this if it is not what I had decided? We have to learn to say to ourselves: "I have to do what I have decided, because it is the right thing to do and it is good for me, so: FORWARD, I must not go back ", O well: "STOP I shouldn't do it". To promote the learning of this technique, the Donald Meichenbaum model for cognitive-behavioral modification can be used as a reference. Here you will find more information about the Meichenbaum Self-Instruction Training.

These instructions consist of an exercise in self-control and should be repeated every time we are faced with these types of situations, and over time, they become a habit or pattern of behavior that will act spontaneously and unconsciously (a series of investigations has shown that resisting repeated temptations have an impact on the mind by increasing neural connections in the direction of the prefrontal cortex towards the amygdala). You can also do a training on behavior, to favor the appropriate ones and eliminate those that are not. It is done with small challenges (not eating such a thing, not smoking after eating, getting up as soon as the alarm clock rings, etc.) and little by little we increase the level of the challenge to overcome.

4. Practice concentration

This exercise to develop self-control consists of training to help us control and focus attention. An example can be keep attention in a mental image and avoid distractions for an increasing time (mindfulness technique). This practice increases the focus of our mind on the self-conscious I, which is the state of mind with which we control our will. Meditation has proven to be one of the most effective ways to increase willpower. Research on it indicates that three hours of meditation increases self-control and the ability to concentrate, and after eleven hours of mediation practice changes can be seen visible in the brain (meditation increases the flow of blood in the prefrontal cortex and, in addition, it seems that the neural connections between the areas responsible for the self-control).

5. Reward yourself

How to improve self-control? Another of the most effective self-control techniques is to reinforce successes. Exercising control of the will is sometimes long-suffering and painful, especially because it involves a fight against ourselves: our I sane against the tempting I, so it needs continuous reinforcement, that is, in addition to satisfaction and well-being achieved, it is also advisable to give yourself a self-reward for each success achieved in this control (a prize, a small pleasure, etc.). It is evident that the control of the will requires a considerable effort, implies the control of the reason before the stimuli that the environment presents us, but whoever achieves it exalts his person, contributes security and self-confidence (improves self-esteem) and feels stronger because he perceives that he controls his life and enjoys freedom.

In the following article you will find more emotional self-control techniques.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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