What are we doing here? What is life for? Which way to take? How do I know what my passion is? Maybe a strong blow has brought you here and now you don't see any way out. However, this can be an experience that changes your life, that transforms you as a person and that allows you to reconnect with yourself and rediscover the world with a new look. Are you ready? In this Psychology-Online article you will find how to overcome an existential crisis in 10 steps.
An existential crisis is a more common phenomenon than it seems. It is a vital period of deep doubts regarding the existence, to the meaning of life, purpose and even to one's own identity. Who I am? What do I do here? Where is my life going?
Existential crisis: meaning
An existential crisis in psychology is understood as a moment in which the mental schemes built no longer serve to face the current situation. The existential crisis occurs because life, or the way of perceiving or understanding it, changes. Suddenly, past ideas and expectations for the future drop. New concerns and questions appear that have never been asked and for which there is no answer (yet). The person who goes through an existential crisis
With the uncertainty and worries, anxious symptoms may also appear, difficulty in falling asleep, apathy or lack of motivation, listlessness or lack of energy, fear and dissatisfaction vital. In the following article you will find more information about symptoms of an existential crisis.
Although there is often talk of the existential crisis at 30 or 50, the truth is that it can happen at any point in the life cycle.
Causes of the existential crisis
An existential crisis is due to an interpersonal conflict derived from the union of several factors, the main ones:
- Internal or external changes. One of the most intense changes is usually the losses, which can range from the death of a loved one to the loss of health or employment. Especially when areas of life that were given great importance and that supported much of the meaning of our life are lost.
- Lack of self-knowledge. We spend a lot of time distracted and pay little attention to ourselves.
How to avoid an existential crisis? Or rather, is it possible to avoid an existential crisis? These periods of doubt can occur for multiple reasons and are usually caused by several factors. Some factors can be worked on in a preventive way, such as self-knowledge and self-compassion, but others do not depend on oneself.
Consequences of the existential crisis
A stock crisis can have several consequences, including:
- Psychological disorders: the feeling of being lost can trigger discomfort that interferes with the person's daily life, causing psychopathological symptoms.
- Transformation: If the discomfort is faced and managed correctly, the existential crisis can lead to personal growth and development. You can emerge strengthened and transformed from it, thus expanding the resources to face future difficulties, such as resilience.
Following the second option, we can interpret an existential crisis as an opportunity to rediscover ourselves and to change. What to do in an existential crisis? There is no one solution as such, exact and effective for everyone. It will be about knowing yourself, analyzing the situation and reorganizing your life.
1. Brakes
How to overcome an existential crisis? Being aware. Surely you find yourself absorbed by the routine. The same tasks every day, the same places, the same people, and so on. Concerns, recurring thoughts, and doubts. For a moment. For something new to grow it must have space. Therefore, you must stop in order to continue.
2. Allow yourself to be wrong
Discomfort is part of life. Humans have a varied repertoire of emotions and we do not always feel positive and pleasant emotions. We also have negative emotionsIt is normal to experience them and go through periods in which we feel bad. Nothing happens to be sad, nothing happens to have doubts, nothing happens to assume that the situation has overcome us. Accept that you are human and therefore imperfect. From the self pity as a basis you can work to overcome the existential crisis.
3. know yourself
You may think that you do not know what to do with your life or even that you wonder who you are. In that case, you should spend more time with yourself, observe you and understand you. Ask yourself why you think like this, why you act like this, and so on. A self-awareness technique is to put on paper a description of yourself in the third person. Then, you can ask people close to you to tell how you are from their point of view. Then assess the similarities and differences.
Remember: you are not your emotions, they pass through you and you decide how you manage them. Just as numbers or titles do not define you, it defines your way of being, your way of relating to yourself and the value you bring to others and to the world.
4. Question your thoughts
Discomfort is often derived more than from the situation itself, from the way we interpret and from what we think about it. Pay attention to your internal dialogue, what you think about yourself, and what you say to yourself. Your discomfort may not be caused, for example, by having ended your relationship, but by a belief of yours, such as "without a partner I cannot be happy." Question the validity of beliefs that form the basis of your thoughts.
5. Remember your resources
To overcome an existential crisis, remember your actions before other difficult moments. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What have I done when I have felt lost?
- How have I overcome adversity?
The objective of these questions is that you remember and be aware of all the skills that you have developed in other complex circumstances that you have already overcome. The learnings and skills that you purchased are there to help you now.
6. Recover your hobbies
Reflect on those things that you enjoyed very much in your childhood. What you liked to do before your schedule was so full and your self-criticism was so high that you no longer had space in your life. Is it feasible to include any of your hobbies in your current life? Try it! Performing pleasant activities is one of the most used strategies of behavioral techniques in therapy psychological, because among its many benefits you will notice a more positive state of mind and motivation to do other chores.
7. Relate from vulnerability
Due to social stigma and fear of being judged by others, we often try to show ourselves as indifferent and invincible. Being sad or feeling lost seems that socially they are not associated with success and happiness, so we try to hide them. However, you don't need to hide how you feel, especially from people you trust. There may be people who don't understand you, but you will be surprised at how many people who can understand you and even uncover their vulnerability. Social support is essential and being able to show yourself honestly will give you more freedom.
8. Set a goal
To reduce demotivation, find what you are excited to do. What purpose would you like to fulfill? Consider a realistic, concrete and short-term objective.
Sometimes, the motivation does not appear at the beginning, but once the path has started. So you can start even if your motivation is not very high at the beginning. However, keep in mind that you shouldn't force yourself either. If you are not prepared, if it is not the moment, nothing happens. Listen to yourself, respect yourself and take your time.
9. Experience
How to overcome an existential crisis? It is about rediscovering who you are and what you are passionate about, for this you need to expose yourself to different contexts and observe yourself in new settings. Try, allow yourself to have new experiences and be a beginner. Allow yourself to try, try, experiment, etc. You can be wrong, you are human. To gain new learning and to find new answers, you must try new paths. Here you will find 15 exercises to get out of your comfort zone.
10. Search your purpose
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What things give you satisfaction?
- What things are really important to you?
- What things do you do that are not out of obligation?
- In what things do you stand out? What is it that you are very good at?
- What can you contribute to others?
- If you had a magic wand that would make everything come true, what would your life be like?
In addition to the previously mentioned steps, to manage this feeling of disorientation and demotivation, you can perform the following exercises:
1. List of things that make you feel good
What things make you happy? Take paper and pencil and write down all those simple and everyday things that produce well-being in you. For example, have a coffee, go for a walk, watch the rain or give a hug. Keep this list in mind and whenever any of these things that make you feel good come up, be aware of it and enjoy it.
2. Positive journal
Every day, reflect on the journey and identify at least one positive thing that has happened. What we feel depends largely on what we think, while what we think depends on our cognitive filter. That is, according to our experiences, we form beliefs and adopt a position regarding events. Performing the exercise of finding positive aspects helps to make our position more flexible and allows us to learn to change our point of view.
3. Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude or gratitude implies analyzing and valuing small things that make our day to day easier and that improve our quality of life. Things that we usually take for granted and overlook, because they are always that way. Taking them into account allows us to feel lucky to enjoy certain comforts. For example, if you are reading this it is because you can read and because you have the Internet.
4. Read
Another exercise that contributes to personal development and helps to overcome an existential crisis is reading. You can learn through useful books to overcome an existential crisis What The art of not embittering life from the psychologist Rafael Santandreu, Emotional intelligence from Daniel goleman or Man's Search for Meaning from Viktor frankl.
5. Display
Get comfortable and relax. Imagine yourself 5 years from now. Observe how you are, where you are, how you walk, how you think and what you are doing. Observe your mood, your interests, and your values. Explore every area of your life: where you live and with whom, what you do, what you do in your free time and how you feel. Visualize even the smallest detail and empathize with that imaginary person, with his concerns, his desires and his goals. You like what you see? What can you do that is in your hand to start looking a little more like that version of yourself?
