How to manage sibling fights

  • Jul 26, 2021
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How to manage sibling fights

The conflicts between siblings is a fairly common situation that appears in almost all families with two or more children, however for parents on many occasions can generate anguish and frustration by not knowing how to act before it. In these cases, what can be done is to help them manage the fights so that they learn to resolve those conflicts and differences that are emerging from day to day so that they can continue to develop new social skills which will even be reflected in their lives future. In this Psychology-Online article we are going to give you some tips so that you know how to manage sibling fights.

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hope that all parents wish that this type of fight never existed and that their children got along all the time, in a peaceful and empathetic way, the reality is that in the vast majority of cases this is not the case and this does not have to be something alarming.

Keep in mind that the brothers have a fairly close relationship since they are sharing all day and have a life in common, so it is normal that in any time the conflict arises as it would happen to any adult who shares his day to day with other.

So it is clear that as parents you cannot do anything against that since it is practically impossible to avoid fights between them, that even in certain To the extent they are healthy as it helps them to increase their capacity for empathy and in this way they learn to respect and to know how to manage conflicts with others people.

  1. Don't see conflict as a negative thing. What usually happens every time conflicts between siblings begin is that the parents begin to get stressed and even more and more angry if the situation is not fixed in followed. It should be borne in mind that conflicts are part of life itself and that rather than focusing on avoiding them, more attention should be paid to how to deal with them. You have to accept that conflicts exist and learn to resolve them naturally from calm and understanding.
  2. ANDFocus on the solution and not the problem. Children must be helped so that from a young age they learn to focus their attention on the solution of the problem and not on the problem itself, which would be useless.
  3. ANDvitar judge children.A mistake that many parents make when educating their children is that whenever a conflict arises between them they tend to take the instead of judges and evaluate the situation in such a way that they make it clear who the culprit is, show it and leave it at a disadvantage before the other. This in the long run generates a lot of rivalry and conflict between the two. What should be done rather, as mentioned in the previous advice, is to try to resolve the conflict in the best way and avoid looking to blame or focusing all attention on the problem.
  4. Active listening. It is necessary that parents learn more than talking and judging their children to really listen to them and to help them solve their problems and concerns. Part of the conflicts that are generated between siblings are indirectly caused by inefficient listening on the part of the parents.
  5. Establish rules and limits. Rules should always be established at home that must be followed and that are aimed at promoting values ​​such as respect, love, companionship, etc. For example, insults, aggressions, mistreatment, teasing, among other negative attitudes, must be strictly prohibited. Of course parents should be the first to set an example for the little ones.
  6. Help them express what they feel. Children should be taught every time they are in the middle of sibling conflict to identify and express what they really feel. That is, instead of acting out of the impulse and supposed anger that they have at that moment and say something hurtful or hit their brother, they should be taught to better express what they really do feel. Anger almost always hides sadness so instead of expressing anger and anger as such, they should be taught to stop and communicate, in this case what made them feel sad. This is achieved with practice and also helps to generate more respect and empathy between siblings.

In this other article we discover you how to avoid envy between siblings giving you some good advice that is worth taking into account.

How to manage sibling fights - 6 tips to learn to manage sibling fights

In addition to following the above tips to try to manage the fights between your children, take note of these series of things that it is important that you DO NOT do to ensure that over time the fights do not increase or are simply not managed properly.

  • Losing patience and acting or saying things impulsively.
  • Simply tell them to stop fighting.
  • Try to convince them to be calm and go back to playing normally.
  • Tell them how bad you feel every time they fight and that the fact that they do so can have serious consequences such as making you sick, that "give you a heart attack", among other things that parents invent for their children because of the frustration they feel in that moment.
  • Judge one of them and make him look like the culprit.
  • Tell them that if they fight you will no longer love them.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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