Pride and selfishness are qualities that can be found to a greater or lesser degree in people. However, when these are the characteristics that best define the way of being of a friend or a relative, you feel that this behavior makes you suffer because that person thinks a lot about himself and has difficulty putting himself in the place of the rest. In Psychology-Online we answer these questions: How to treat a proud and selfish person? How to protect yourself from their behaviors?
Through these emotional intelligence tips you can increase your well-being in your bond with someone who meets these characteristics in their character.
Observe the virtues of that person
When we label someone in such an absolute way, we do not see beyond those character traits that overshadow other virtues that exist and are important. Therefore, even if you objectively observe these negative characteristics in that person's way of being, try to also appreciate the positive qualities of that person's way of being. Since, it is not incompatible that someone is selfish, and in turn, has a solid personal brand in other admirable actions.
Set limits
If a person is selfish and proud, you have to have the ability to do not let you conditionr by the dictates of his will. From your position, maturity and self-knowledge, he expresses your wishes assertively. He learns to say no with conviction. For example, if that friend makes a request and you think that he can take care of that matter himself, because He has time and capacity for it, without counting on your help, then, he expresses your negative in a firm and direct. That person will realize that he cannot manipulate you if you are clear in expressing your ideas.
Try to understand the way of being other people's
It is not about justifying it but about understanding it. That is, that person's story is not yours, he has had a different education, a personalized life process and the teaching of certain values. Understanding where this selfish attitude can come from allows you to approach that person with greater empathy.
Take care of your self-esteem.
A proud and arrogant person seeks constant adulation from others, loves to receive admiration and does not have the same generosity when showing this recognition towards others. From this reality, express your positive appreciation for that person when you objectively want to do so for an objective reason. But don't fall into the trap of wanting to please that person with constant words of encouragement, recognition, and praise. Raise your self-esteem it will be very important if we want to learn to relate to selfish people.
You can't change that person
You can positively influence her, you can constructively express certain gestures that do not seem appropriate, especially if you are confident. However, if you know that this person is proud and arrogant, you cannot place on them the expectations that you place on someone humble and generous. That does not mean that that person cannot change, however, he will not do it because you impose it. You must do this process from an internal motivation.
Avoid reproaches
If you want to talk about how this relationship makes you feel, it is important that you avoid falling into the plane of reproach by telling that friend "you are selfish. It is better that you describe concrete examples of situations that have hurt you. And to avoid bringing the past to the present, it is recommended that you approach the conversation from a current situation.
Knowing how to treat a proud and selfish person is not an easy task, it is important to learn to deal with these types of individuals. A person who is proud in love and friendship can behave in unexpected and hurtful ways at times. How can you cultivate friendship with a selfish person in a constructive way?
Positive points of the relationship
Identify in which plans and moments you feel best with that person. It may happen that it is not someone you want to tell your personal news to Apr, however, perhaps it is a perfect film companion (although in that case, it is very likely that he always wants to choose the title of the story). Ultimately, try to locate some aspect for which this relationship may be worthwhile. In this way, focus on the goal of cultivating the relationship in this direction.
Offer alternatives
When you are embroiled in discussions about two different options (yours and his), then offer alternatives so that both of you have to compromise on your positions. You may resolve conflicts assertively and, in this way, improve friendship with these types of people.
Common tastes and hobbies
When you have a selfish friend you feel that this distances you, however, if in an objective way you know that do you share a hobby common with that person, then, as this leisure time makes you both enjoy, it will be easier for you to flow in that context.
Relativize
Your friend has this weakness in his behavior. However, if you are objective with yourself, you will also realize that you have other flaws. So try have more patience And instead of getting angry inside, look at this reality from the comic side because, really, the behaviors of a selfish person in adulthood are childish.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
