What is the CRISIS OF 30 and how to overcome it

Have you heard about the crisis of the 30s and don't know what it is? We usually hear about crises from certain ages, such as 40 or 50, but we do not usually stop to think about what they are until we are close to them.

In recent years, there has been talk about the crisis of the 30. Do you want to know what it is, why it happens and how to deal with it? In this Psychology-Online article we will try to clarify some doubts and try to provide an efficient tool to know how to manage this stage.

Index

1. Why did we go through the 30-year crisis?
2. Symptoms of the 30-year crisis
3. Crisis of 30 in married women and men
4. Thirties crisis in single women and men
5. How to overcome the crisis of 30: 5 steps

Are you close to turning 30 or have you already turned 30 and are you worried about going through the crisis of 30? In reality, although it has this definition, it does not mean that when we reach 30 years of age we have yes or yes to live a crisis.

First of all, we have to understand what we mean when we use the term crisis, the definition that we can find in the real academy of the language is: "profound change with important consequences in a process or situation, or in the way in which these are appreciated".

This means that a crisis is primarily a change. There are people who manage or accept changes better than others, according to innate capacities or acquired, we will know how to better or worse manage the changes that we have to face throughout life.

Currently, the generations that are close to 30 years, whether we have already reached them or who We are close to them, we live in a situation of constant uncertainty, both economic, social, spiritual and values. This leads us to be constantly rethinking our lifestyle, goals or objectives we want to achieve.

To all this, we have to add the pressure with which we have grown, in general, since we were little we were "given" everything that our parents had been deprived, education, financial stability, false security of a way forward "Right". We have been pushed to "be" what they could not, over training us with degrees and studies, which in many occasions are useless since there is no experience, both professional and decisive in the face of reality labor.

We focused on training ourselves, because they told us that this was the way to get stable employment, with a job stable we would have enough economy to be able to make an independent life and that in this way we would achieve happiness. But this was not the case, we spent years studying, degrees, masters and / or doctorates, hopefully we finished training almost when we turned 30, hopefully we entered the world of work, increasingly cruel and ruthless with human emotional capacities, we become mere pieces of soulless companies that use the vitality that we can bring with the youth that have. They kill our ability to feel and immerse us in constant cycles of stress and anxiety. In addition to the fact that the economic part in a few cases compensates with the effort, the years and the expense that we have made for our training.

Age is simply a reminder, when we turn 30 years old, we become more aware of the reality of timeWe allow ourselves to stop for a second to take stock of the last ten years, how we expected our life to be and what it is like. If your journey has been pleasant in the last ten years, if it has compensated the reality that you live in this moment, if you are happy with your life, you may not feel any conflict or crisis. On the contrary, the following symptoms and signs may be a sign of crisis:

• You do not feel satisfied
• You feel like you are missing something
• You feel an emptiness inside
• You feel anxious, want to escape or even a depressed state
• You don't feel emotional stability or happiness of your own

We believe that happiness has a marked path, but the reality is that each person builds their own happiness, according to their needs, concerns or ambitions.

If you are close to 30 years old and you feel restlessness, instability, emptiness or incongruity In your life, do not worry, as the word crisis defines, it is time for a change. Changes are always scary because it implies releasing the known for something that is still unknown. But remember that a crisis means the opportunity to build something new and more akin to who you are, remember that there is no crisis if you live according to who you are. In the following article you will find more information about how to overcome the fear of the new.

Starting a path of inner and personal knowledge will help you accept this change and will give you tools to build a new trajectory that allows you to grow according to your needs individual. Emotional health professionals such as psychologists and therapists are experts in these types of situations, therapy accompanies changes and provides personal tools. Don't be afraid or ashamed to use any professional service that can bring clarity and support in your own change process.

When we go through this crisis and our situation is within a marriage, this can be one of the main focuses that we use as an "excuse", that is, if I am married or in a relationship, it may be that I cling to the idea that I have stopped living or have "missed" experiences because I am committed to someone.

This idea is wrong in a sense, the Sharing your life with another person does not mean stopping satisfying your needs, feeling fulfilled and satisfied with your life. You may not feel "free" and need to blame someone, but it is important that if you feel that you are going through a crisis, you do not no external culprit, taking responsibility for our internal needs is essential to be able to favorably resolve the change we are experiencing living.

In the same way it can happen the opposite, single people can focus their lack or need on the fact of not having someone with whom to share their life, projecting the emptiness they feel with the partner. If you have ever thought or commented "If I had a partner, I would feel better or be happier", you are projecting your emptiness outwards, this is a very common attitude in people, it is difficult for us to take responsibility for feelings that harm us, but it is necessary to acquire this responsibility to grow emotionally and live in tune with who are.

Whatever your situation, remember that it is no one's fault, not even yours. Crises are necessary to grow and allow us to get to know ourselves, leaving behind the behaviors, beliefs and attitudes that no longer provide us with anything, to make room for new tools.

In order to overcome a crisis, whatever the age, it is essential to become aware of various aspects of our life:

1. Ask questions

First, take some time to think if you are really going through a crisis, you can write down the following questions in a notebook:

• Am I satisfied?
• Is this kind of life what I want?
• What don't I like about my life at this particular moment?

I recommend that when answering you do not focus on what you lack or would like, rather with the here and now.

2. Reflect

Second, in response to the questions above, reflect on:

• What can I change?
• What do I want to change?
• What do I want to heal or cleanse?

Ask yourself these questions in various areas of your life, professional, family, emotional, etc. If your answers are apathetic or with the view that you do not have the "power" to change anything, you may need to help from a professional to regain confidence in yourself and make a process of empowerment in your own life.

3. Set goals

After you have taken some time to think and answer the questions above, make two lists

1. Goals and objectives to build in your life. It is good that you connect with deep goals that nurture more internal parts of you. Set realistic times to be able to meet the goals or objectives that you set for yourself, do not pretend to solve everything quickly and efficiently, internal changes require your time and delicacy.
2. Things to take out of your life. Be it relationships, attitudes, etc. that you don't want them to continue in your life.

4. Work your trust in you

Trusting who we are is essential to be able to grow towards the healthiest direction for oneself, remember that you have the necessary wisdom to grow towards where you need to and feel stable. Learning to trust yourself will help you in the process, try not to believe everything you think and hear more how you feel. In the following article we explain how to have confidence in yourself.

5. Explain your process and ask for support

This process is very healthy to share with your environment, friends, family or people who are important or references in your life. Asking for support does not mean asking for advice, most of the advice we receive has implications and fears from the people who give it. When we go through internal changes, they usually awaken the fear of the people around us, it is simply the fear of the unknown. Be true to what you feel and guide yourself learning to share from who you are.

Here you can see more information about how to overcome an existence crisisl. Remember that going through a crisis is much easier with professional support, go to a psychologist if you need help or guidance.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is the crisis of 30 and how to overcome it, we recommend that you enter our category of Personal growth and self-help.

• Fromm, E. (2004). the fear to the freedom. Barcelona: Paidós.
• Fernández, O. (1999). Life Crisis. Buenos Aires: New Vision Editions.
• De Rivera, L. (2012). Emotional crisis. Stress, trauma and resilience. Madrid: Madrid Institute of Psychotherapy.