Death is a natural fact, it is true. However, how much it hurts to say goodbye to a loved one who has passed away from cancer. In this case, the sadness of death itself is compounded by the previous suffering that the family has experienced since the patient received the diagnosis of his ailment. Death comes to break the hope of survival. And that produces an inevitable wound in the emotional hearts of those who feel the emptiness that that unique and special person has left. How to overcome the death of a loved one from cancer? At Psychology-Online, we want to accompany you in this process with these words that I hope will bring you some comfort.
Try to get back to your usual routine as soon as possible
Connecting with your usual habits will help you to mentally focus on this reality. That does not mean that the pain is suddenly forgotten, however, the routine is that refuge we long for when we experience a sudden and painful change. Sometimes if the death of a loved one hurts so much it is because we experience the paradox of his goodbye with the inevitable evidence that life goes on. In that case, resuming the routine is a way of acting in coherence with this vital principle.
Let the tears flow
express the pain you feel through crying. Sometimes you will cry alone. And others, in the company of a confidant who supports you unconditionally. After the emotional tension suffered by worry and uncertainty, crying is a way to channel that tension.
Visit the cemetery
Some people find it helpful to visit the grave of the deceased relative, bring him flowers, and talk with him internally. It is a very personal question that you will discover yourself if it fits your desire at this moment or you prefer to avoid this experience. Listen to your own heart and you will find the answers. Above all, do what you need to do. The truth is that it is not essential to go to the cemetery to think mentally about that special person. You can have this memory and dedicate it to his memory from anywhere. Wherever you are.
That person will always be part of your life
His life has left a legacy of memories in your history. Moments, words, reflections, plans and memories. In this grieving process, you will feel how memories surface anywhere. And although these memories make you sad for the absence of that relative, they also help you feel the love that lives in you. A love for which you feel gratitude as you become aware of the gift of your life.
Share the pain as a family
The death of that person has affected the entire environment. However, each one manifests the pain of goodbye in a different way. Try to accompany from respect to others and, also, let yourself be accompanied in the same way. On grieving processes in the event of significant lossesIt is a good idea to make more plans as a family to share quality time with the closest nucleus. This process of group accompaniment is therapeutic for everyone.
Talk to someone who has been through the same thing
You may know a friend who has had this experience before. His story is different from yours, however, empathy is so human that his story and his advice can help you for a very important reason. If he has already passed the grieving phase, he may look at the process from a different perspective. That is, they can tell you that, although it seems difficult now, at some point you will experience the same joy that you lived in the past.
Workshop on overcoming grief
Maybe you prefer to find a group of people who are going through the same thing right now. There are specialized workshops in overcoming the sadness produced by the death of a loved one. Workshops that are coordinated by experts in emotional intelligence. The main benefit of being part of this type of experience is having a place in which to speak in a space of total confidentiality about fears, feelings and doubts. In addition, the help of this group is therapeutic because it occurs precisely at a vital moment for the affected person: the first year of the absence of that much loved family member.
When a loved one who has died of cancer dies, the family cannot establish a direct dialogue with that person. However, if you are going through a situation of this type, if you can express yourself emotionally and doing so will help you release the knots that hurt you. The exercise of writing a letter addressed to that person can help you ease the weight of this injury. It is an exercise that you can do for yourself, for your own well-being. Let all the words you need to express flow onto the paper.
Feel lto the intimacy that that letter gives you, but also, think that your heart is really connected with the memory of that person. Therefore, everything that you express you are really feeling and, in a way, your heart and your mind live it as if this message were reaching its recipient.
You can use the card resource as many times as you need. In fact, if you like to write, this can be an exercise in creativity at a time when life makes you faced with a situation marked by existential questions about the shortness of time and the mystery of death. It is common to have this type of philosophical dialogue at a time of these characteristics. And writing is a tool to externalize everything that can hurt even more if it is repressed.
The photographs of that person or that gift they gave you at some point, are details that charge emotional value over the years. Also, enjoy the opportunity to return to those places that remind you of him for some reason. The power of love beyond death is a transcendent reality.
For example, there will be times when you can't help but get excited by feeling the evocative experience of memories that are nothing more than a manifestation of life in capital letters. However, you will always feel lucky to have had the opportunity to meet him. And now, from your position, you can also share the anecdotes that you remember. When you do, you give emotional life in memory of that loved one.
How to overcome the death of a loved one from cancer? If you are going through this experience, try to be patient because the days flow with a different compass than when you feel happy about good news.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
