The term toxic people is used very frequently today. But it would be more convenient to talk about behaviors that do not produce well-being in many of the people who are close. You may experience some kind of difficulty in relationships that arise in the realm of friendship, in the family or in the professional context. To deepen on this topic, you can read the book Toxic people scored by Bernardo Stamateas. Difficulties can occur in all types of interpersonal relationship, however, what characterizes this type of bond is the balance negative that the person experiences unpleasant emotions when interacting with another person or when he recalls certain situations. How to get away from toxic people? In Psychology-Online we give you the keys.
How can you identify the toxic people? Here are 5 keys:
- There are people who are medicinal for your mood because you feel good when you are in their company. You experience the opposite sensation when you are close to someone with whom the relationship does not flow or progress positively, no matter how much you do on your part. If the complexity and difficulty constitute the essence of that bond, surely you find yourself before a toxic person.
- Little capacity for self-criticism. You notice that this person has a tendency to hold external circumstances or others responsible for issues for which you should take responsibility at the individual level, another characteristic of people toxic.
- The recurring speech of complaint. In fact, you consider this to be one of the defining characteristics of their behavior. Something common in toxic people.
- You feel bad. Reflecting on how you feel when you are close to that person takes up part of your time, especially if it is someone close to you with whom you frequently coincide. You may have discussed the matter with someone you trust. And this feeling intensifies after a recent encounter.
- You condition your behavior and your response when you are with that toxic person in order to avoid certain situations that you think may displease your interlocutor.
These are some of the characteristics that you can observe in a person with toxic behaviors.
Many people wonder how to deal with toxic people at work. Work is one of those places where, as much as you want to avoid contact with someone with who do not have a good relationship, you can not do it completely because the context forces you to it. But just because you can't completely distance yourself doesn't mean you can't do anything about it. How you live this situation influences your perspective. Here are some tips on how to stay away from toxic people at work:
- Focus your attention on other matters. This type of relationship can make those who suffer from a bond of these characteristics focus their energy on thinking mainly about this issue. However, your professional routine is made up of many other aspects. Projects, other labor ties, future expectations, training, daily goals, etc. To get away from toxic people at work, increase the minutes you spend getting excited about other aspects of your work life and reduce by choice the time you spend thinking about it story.
- Don't reinforce toxic behaviors. There are behaviors for which that person needs the collaboration of another. For example, negative criticism and complaint grow from the interaction of two people who give each other feedback in this position. But do not get into the dynamic of giving advice either because it is very likely that he will not receive it as constructive suggestions.
- You can too propose ideas through the company's suggestion box on possible initiatives to improve the work environment In the organization. For example, an experience of coaching systemic, since those changes that occur within a group seen as a system affect the team as a whole. Through the coaching systemic, you can become aware that you can adopt a different position in the situation.
- Listen to the message of your emotions, do not repress them. What you feel also offers you a message that can help you make decisions.
- Talk to other people that are of your maximum confidence. People who are outside this workspace and with whom you can comment in a privacy sphere this period that you are going through. Although every situation is different, it is likely that some of your trusted contacts can expand your vision with their own story.
- Spend more time away from the office to do activities that make you happy. To get away from toxic people at work, it helps to do activities and share moments with people outside of work. This motivation can become an incentive to help you reduce the stress derived from this situation.
- Look for alternatives. When looking at this situation, try not to interpret it as immovable. Visualize different possibilities that can occur in your professional life. For example, a change of position in the company or the search for another job. Expand these ideas with other possibilities. I would like to recommend you to read an interesting book: "How to make good things happen to you", a title from Marián Rojas.
- Beware of expectations. When dating a toxic coworker, don't expect honest praise or recognition even if you've achieved significant success (it may, but don't take it for granted). Sometimes it's your own expectations of how you think that person should have responded in a given situation that disappoints you. But when you do this interpretation, you are thinking about how you would like that person to be and not how they really are.
This term is used so much that everyday language also shows the risk that exists in this association of concepts. For example, this statement makes an absolute assessment of the other. Each person has their own difficulties, their history and the life process of it. This term shows a way to negatively label someone. The excessive use of this term in everyday language can also make us look for the error in the other instead of reflecting on our own aspects in the context of a personal relationship. When the expression "toxic person" is used, it is always the other that is pointed out.
However, when looking at the comprehensive scenario of the situation, you can change your perspective to reflectAlso, on how you are reinforcing this bond if you have the feeling of staying in the same point with that person. It is in this present, when you observe a story that takes up more space in your life than you would like, that you can reflect on possible responses to generate a change in how you position yourself in the face of what is happening in this relationship. For example, you can define new limits. Answering this test you may know if you are in a toxic relationship.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
