Why is it hard for me to open up to others

By being emotionally open we refer to those moments in which we share intimate feelings belonging to our personal sphere with other people.

We all need friends in our lives, be it a simple friendship or relationships, as social beings we like to have people involved in our lives, but relationships are difficult and many of us find it difficult to open ourselves to others, among other things due to vulnerability, insecurities, emotional trauma, lies, best friends who become treacherous, etc. "Why is it difficult for me to open up to others?"In this Psychology-Online article, we tell you some reasons why opening yourself up to others can be very difficult for you.

Index

1. Why do you find it difficult to talk to people
2. I find it difficult to relate to people: what do I do?
3. I do not like to relate and open up with others

Opening ourselves is a kind of invitation to others to share things with us, it is something satisfying, but it can also be very difficult. It makes us feel vulnerable, psychologically naked, and generally anxious. But it is important in the sense that we let others understand how we really think, how we feel, and what we believe.

Some reasons why you keep asking yourself "Why is it hard for me to open up to others?"are the following:

Fear of being vulnerable

The difficult part of being emotionally open comes from the fear produced by vulnerability. When a person is open and an adequate level of trust is not built, they may feel that in the future they will be a prey to situations that involve a certain emotional openness. Without a certain level of trust, opening up emotionally can be a death sentence. This may be due in part to trust issues in past relationships.

Those people who they are afraid to open up to others They have doubts about whether others, whether they are friends or partners, are going to hurt them. To do this, you have to show them that you will really take care of them and that shows slowly, over the months.

Insecurity can be very intense

The lack of emotional availability is one of the main causes of the disappearance of any relationship. People tend to close down emotionally because of their insecurities, which may or may not be based on previous experiences. We each bring our backpack of previous experiences and, although we try to influence the present the least, they do. It's important to know what to do about emotional insecurity.

Don't practice

Sometimes the main reason some people have a hard time opening up is that they don't know how. There are people who have grown up in homes where it was not frequent to express or share emotions among family members and for that reason they do not know how to do it. They may even have tried to express them out of necessity at some point and have been humiliated by their relatives who see it as a weakness.

Old memories

People who have experienced emotional abuse: negative judgments, humiliations... in previous relationships may present difficulties trusting and opening up emotionally to other people, it would be treated as a kind of Defense mechanism.

While it is true that there are people who find it difficult to relate With others, you can follow these tips to make it easier for you to open up emotionally:

1. Identify your feelings

How can you know what you are feeling? Become aware of the movements and sensations of your body. Do you feel pressure in your chest? Are you smiling or frowning? Once you notice the sensations in your body, you can identify the feelings associated with them.

Find the right words for describe your feelings. Try jotting down the words several times a day and looking for a pattern or trend.

2. Talk about those feelings

After identifying your feelings, you can choose to share them with your friends, partner, or family. If this is something new for you, you will feel uncomfortable, but you should keep in mind that it is normal. The more you practice sharing your feelings, the more natural you will feel.

If you don't want to, there is always the option of not sharing them, keeping in mind that, by blocking the expression of your feelings, you are limiting the level of intimacy with your environment.

3. Listens

Sharing your feelings is the starting point. You can too listen to the feelings of others. This can be quite a challenge if it's something you haven't done before. While listening to others talk about their feelings, you should not be doing other things at the same time and keep good eye contact.

4. Validate your feelings

Normally when we are little, our family validates the expression of our feelings, but it may not have occurred in your case. message that it is okay to feel and express feelings, which invalidates a child's ability to define her own experience and feelings. Validating feelings helps the person to trust your own emotions.

5. Keep in mind that making mistakes is normal

Learn from your past mistakes, every emotional or behavioral mistake is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and those around you. Learning about the feelings of others is the way to develop your emotional intelligence. The more you learn, the deeper your emotional intimacy becomes.

Opening up emotionally and being honest can be very scary. At first it may seem impossible, but in the long run it is better than holding back your feelings. A good identification and expression of feelings is related to a good mental health.

For this reason, if you keep asking yourself "¿why is it hard for me to open up to others? "It is important that you follow the above tips as well as others. The loneliness we feel when we do not open ourselves to others will be replaced by security, tenderness and new closeness in your relationships. The rewards we get from opening up to other people are very powerful. Sharing your innermost feelings and being accepted is a basic human need and can be very healthy.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why is it hard for me to open up to others, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.