It is already difficult to put an end to a relationship, but if, in addition, you have common children, things get complicated, because in that case your decisions affect someone other than yourself. However, it is not a good option to continue with an unsuccessful relationship due to the fact of having children, since in the long run it can harm them more than benefit them. A conflictive and loveless environment between parents can mark the childhood and adolescence of their children. If things don't work together, separation is the best option. But, how to separate when there are children and that it does not affect them? How to part with small children? What is a separation like without being married and with children? Is it possible to part on good terms? How to amicably part with children?
In this Psychology-Online article we explain how to separate with children: steps, recommendations and solutions to problems that may arise.
We have the strange idea that there is only one type of family that is good for children. And it is that, they have instilled in us that the best thing for the children is that their parents are together and nothing else. But what if they are not happy? What if they argue often? What if they got married under pressure from their families?
To think that children will be better off with their parents together unhappily is a mistake. If we do, we will be teaching them to conform to what is considered socially correct, to live in a way that satisfies others and not themselves. What's more, a home with parents who feel compelled to be a couple is far from being a happy home.
Is it good to separate when there are children? Of course, it would be ideal for the parents of the infants to get along, love and respect each other, but when that is not the case, it is preferable that they rebuild their lives and be happy.
Children are quite adaptable to new circumstances. And, although it may be difficult at the beginning, separation when things are not going well and seeing each of their parents happy is less damaging for them than forced coexistence.
Therefore, do not be afraid to separate if it is what you really wantBecause in the long run, deciding to separate when necessary is in the best interest of you and your children. Needless to say if there is some kind of abuse. Here we talk about psychological abuse in the partner.
It is normal for you to feel a certain fear of being separated for your children, because it is a very important change in your lives. And it is normal that you want to separate but do not dare or do not know where to start. Here we explain the steps you should take and different tips to separate in a friendly way with children.
Once you have made the decision to separate with children and you want to do it in a friendly way, it is important that you know some tips that will help you achieve it. Separating with young children has its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, they adapt earlier to the situation, but on the other, perhaps, due to their age, they do not understand that their parents no longer want to be together.
The point is that the separation itself does not have to cause trauma if done right. It is always much worse a conflictive home or in which your parents do not show any affection or respect. How to separate when there are children? Follow these recommendations:
- When separating with young children it is important to discuss the separation with a language adapted to his age. Making it clear that they are not to blame for that decision.
- Listen to your doubts and solve them when they request it, it will provide them with more security.
- Pay attention to your needs affective and emotional at all times.
- Explain that you are still a family, because there are many Types of family, and that they will not lose contact with any of their fathers or mothers.
- Talk to respect for the other parent forever.
- Allow to the small or small communicate with your other parent whenever you want.
- Make decisions having as priority the best for the sons or daughters (schedules, holidays, celebrations, housing ...).
- Inform your environment of the new situation to be able to observe the changes that may occur both at school and in their family and social relationships.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.