More and more parents are separating. Surely, if we look around, we will see many divorced or separated people, if we look at the classmates of our children, it is likely that many of them are children of separated or divorced parents. But, what consequences can this situation bring to our children? What do children of separated parents think? How is their behavior? Does it affect their school performance? Are children of separated parents happy? If you want to know, do not hesitate to continue reading this Psychology-Online article: Children of separated parents: does it have consequences?
Index
- Children of separated parents and their consequences
- Children of separated parents: behavior and emotions
- Academic performance
- Are children of separated parents happy?
Children of separated parents and their consequences.
The process of adaptation to the new situation is the main consequence of a divorce or separation in the children. People, both parents and children, are not always prepared to face all changes. If a certain change, such as marital separation, is a difficulty for parents, for children it can also be
In addition, it should be noted that children easily perceive the concerns and moods of their parents, so it is important that, during the separation process, parents try to transmit messages of both security and tranquility to their children and pacifism.
Although the children of separated parents may grow up happy, the first moments during and after the separation can be complicated, especially depending on the severity of the situation and the relationship between parents. Here are the consequences of divorce on children more common.
Children of separated parents: behavior and emotions.
The first of the consequences of divorce on children and the most common is the emotional maladjustmentThis emotional maladjustment can cause children not to reflect happiness, therefore, it is important attend to a series of risk factors that increase the chances of presenting a mismatch emotional:
- Severity of parental conflict: For example, arguing and verbally and / or physically assaulting each other in front of children can be an aggravating risk factor for emotional disturbance.
- Compliance with the visiting regime agreed in the trial: this factor refers to the fulfillment of the visits that each parent has established to be with the children.
- The custodial parent of the children: usually custody is the mother, but if the children have a greater affinity with the father, it can increase the risk of emotional maladjustment.
- Economic pension: usually one of the parents must satisfy the other through a financial pension in order to cover the children's needs. When this pension is not paid, it can generate an imbalance in the coverage of needs, a fact that leads the children to an unexpected change. Therefore, in general, the changes that occur after a separation, it is recommended that they be the minimum possible, since the children have the same needs before as after the separation.
- Weather: Another risk factor to take into account is the time that has elapsed since the breakup to the present moment. The more time that has elapsed does not mean that the problems have been solved, but it is true that, in general, the situation will be calmer and the children will be more adapted to it.
- Separation from siblings: In a separation, it is not advisable to also separate the siblings, that is, one of the siblings with one parent and the other sibling with the other parent. In the event of separation between siblings, the possibility of emotional, psychological and behavioral imbalance and instability increases.
- Period of time before separation: This risk factor refers to the tense situation that usually occurs before the separation (arguments, aggressiveness, hostility, conflict…). In these cases, it is important to take into account both the level of severity and its duration.
- Characteristics of the children: for example, intolerance to frustration, difficulties in handling stress, intolerance to change, difficulties in adaptation, temperament, and so on.
Consequences of divorce on children by age
Children's adaptation to change depends largely on their age. The emotional maladjustment in the children, as a consequence of the divorce of the parents, will be shown differently according to the age of the children. In younger children, misalignments in behavior (regressions, sleeping and eating problems ...), on the other hand, in the elderly, they are usually detected mismatches in social skills (self-blame, betrayal of the parent, shame ...).
Children of separated parents: new partner?
The fact of having to adapt to the new parents' partners, whether in cohabitation or not, can constitute an added difficulty and, therefore, a risk factor.
Academic performance.
According to various studies, it is considered that one of the possible consequences of divorce on children is a decreased academic performance. It is observed that the decrease in academic performance in the children of divorced parents does not last for always, but is present during the rupture process and persists up to a year later approximately.
Thus, during this period of time, it is usually observed, on the one hand, that younger children tend to present Learning problems, school difficulties and performance difficulties. On the other hand, older children tend to practice more truancy, lower academic performance, less motivation and few aspirations in relation to the educational world. In addition, some studies highlight that children of separated parents are more likely to fail to obtain a university degree or completion of compulsory secondary studies, that is, a greater probability from school failure.
Are children of separated parents happy?
Although it is true that each situation is different, depending on each family and the characteristics of the divorce process, there may be some consequences or others, but, in general, as parents we tend to worry about the consequences that all this can lead to our children. That is why most parents they often wonder if the children of separated parents are happy, since they worry about the happiness of their children during the breakup process and after it.
Parental divorce is not fun or enjoyable for children, but they are not unhappy for that. Children's happiness does not depend on the structure of their family, whether single parent, homo parent, reconstituted, and so on. In the following article you will find the 9 types of family and their characteristics.
The happiness of the children depends to a greater extent on the covering their needs and their affective relationships. In other words, if the children, despite the separation of their parents, continue to receive the affection of their parents and, in addition, these cover their needs for protection as well as affection and affection, the children will continue to be just as happy as they were before the separation.
In addition, it should be noted that children are also capable of perceiving the happiness of their parents after a separation, since the parents no longer have to live in the same home maintaining a relationship insane. Therefore, separation or divorce can come to be understood as an event that leads to positive change and an opportunity for improvement, thus promoting better relationships between parents and children.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Children of separated parents: does it have consequences?, we recommend that you enter our category of Family problems.
Bibliography
Cantón, J., Cortés, M.R., and Justicia, M.D. (2002). The consequences of divorce on children. Clinical, Legal and Forensic Psychopathology, 2(3), 47-66.
Novo, M., Arce, R., and Rodríguez, M.J. (2003). Marital separation: consequences and post-divorce reactions of the children. Galician-Portuguese Journal of Psychology and Education, 10(8), 197-204.