Has it ever happened to you that a friend or family member has radically changed their attitude and you don't know why? Maybe before he cared about you and now he barely talks to you? Did he seem like the nicest person to you and now you can hardly stand him? Why does a man or a woman suddenly change their attitude?
In Psychology-Online we consider that it is important to know the reasons and that is why we explain below why do people change their attitude.
Generally, people do not change their attitude, but they have always been that way but for some reasons we have not seen it until that moment. This is usually because we get the wrong idea about his way of being. Sometimes we let ourselves be carried away by love and sometimes by wanting them to be the way we want them or by the simple fact of wanting to connect.
At other times, that person may really have been behaving in a specific way seeking to be accepted, to avoid something or someone, or to meet some need. But sooner or later the true personality surfaces
Therefore the first and most common reason when observing a change in attitude is that the person has always been like this and we are the ones who had a biased vision, already either because he showed us only a part of him or her or because our expectations and desires made us see a reality distorted. Although this is common, there are changes in attitude that are caused by specific reasons. They can be temporary or permanent changes.
Others reasons why people change their attitudes They are:
- A crisis. After a crucial event such as an accident, a separation, the death of a family member or the overcoming of a serious illness; many people change their attitude towards life. This happens because your priorities and your values undergo a change. Let's say that this event makes them have a different attitude towards life. In the following article we explain How to overcome an existential crisis.
- Personal development. When someone does not settle for his qualities and wants to be the best version of him, he begins to make changes in his life. Normally starting with internal changes, attitudes, priorities, self-concept, etc. And ending with changes in their routines and physical changes.
- Disappointment. Constant disappointments often lead to a negative outlook on life and an attitude consistent with it. here you will find activities for personal development.
- Appearance of a psychological disorder. Developing a psychological disorder such as anxiety or depression; or a latent one that had not yet appeared, such as schizophrenia or Bipolar disorder; They can also cause a change in attitude and affect different areas.
- Substance use. Consuming drugs affects the way of being and acting of people, with the corresponding change in attitude that this entails. On the other hand, a period of abstinence after a continuous period of consumption can cause sadness, anxiety, anger... and its consequent change in attitude.
If the change in attitude is not general but you only notice it with their behavior towards you, it may be for one of these reasons:
- Confidence. If your relationship is very close (close friends, close family, and even a partner), it may be that other issues are affecting him but by friction and trust they make you the victims of his frustration. The closest people are the ones who best perceive changes in someone's behavior or attitude.
- Change of interests. Another reason that usually appears and that is not a dish of good taste, is that you are no longer useful to that person. Maybe the relationship worked well when he wanted to get something from you and that has changed. Producing a distancing and a change in the relationship.
- Change of feelings. If the person who has changed his attitude is your partner, it is possible that her feelings have changed and that is manifested in a change in behavior towards you. It may also be something that has angered or disappointed you and is keeping it hidden. In that case we recommend you read this article about How to solve relationship problems.
- Conflicts. Third-party comments about you or unclear misunderstandings continually appear as reasons for a change in attitude.
They can be unique reasons or a combination of them, but the fact is that until we understand it we are puzzled about it.
If the relationship with that person matters to you, it is best to put your pride aside and talk about what has changed in him or her with respect to you. The reason may have a solution. The main tips to keep in mind to act in the face of a change in attitude:
- Empathy. Try to put yourself in their place to understand the change in attitude, empathize and try to understand the reasons for their behavior.
- Assertiveness. Whether or not your relationship improves, if his attitude is affecting you, let him know assertively. Explain how you feel about it calmly and respectfully. The relationship may not be the same again but you will feel calmer. Speak from what you believe, think and feel, without attacking the other person.
- Let go, don't hold on. When none of the above works or you really prefer to keep that person in their new place or even out of your life, simply let it be and walk away. Sometimes certain relationships become detrimental to us and it is better not to insist on waiting for the waters to return to their course because it does not always happen.
Here you can see in more detail How to Assertively Resolve a Conflict.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
