Insecure attachment: what is it, types and how to work it

Animals take care of their young when they are born to safeguard their survival and that of their own species. Humans do the exact same thing taking care of our babies. The baby cannot eat if we do not provide food, does not look for water or flee from possible dangers. It needs the supervision, surveillance and care of the adult in order to survive.

The baby or child, then, establishes early protective bonds with people (usually her parents), and this is what we call attachment. The way in which the necessary care is provided, your demands are attended to, etc. it will result in the development of different types of attachment: secure or insecure. In the following Psychology-Online article we expose the insecure attachment: what is it, types and how to work it.

Index

1. What is insecure attachment
2. Types of insecure attachment
3. Consequences of insecure attachment
4. How to work insecure attachment

As we have advanced in the introduction, the development of attachment is necessary for the baby to establish the first bonds.

The psychiatrist John bowlby and the psychologist Mary ainsworth they formulated attachment theory. For their studies, they used an experimental situation that they called a strange situation. In it, the child was left in a strange environment and the parents were absent on several occasions. Children's reactions to such a situation were studied to formulate the theory, which distinguishes between secure attachment and insecure attachment.

Secure attachment shows the establishment of a parent-child relationship in which the child has learned that her caregivers will be available when they are needed to meet their needs and unconditionally, for what they love and value them positively.

The insecure attachment, on the contrary, it shows a type of attachment in which the child finds deficiencies regarding their care. In the strange situation, the child may react avoidantly or ambivalently.

Insecure attachment includes three types of attachment that we will see in the next section. It is important to emphasize following López Sánchez, F. (2009)^[1] that it is not a question of mental pathologies, but of behavior patterns in which there are difficulties and deficiencies in areas such as trust or emotional life.

Finally, there is debate about whether attachment styles remain stable throughout life or change. While it is true that there is no consensus, both positions have their defenders.

Insecure attachment can be divided into three types that will manifest in different degrees in each case. To conceptualize each of the types we follow López Sánchez, F. (2009)^[1]. We will see the characteristics and signs of each one so that you can know if your child has a secure or insecure attachment.

Insecure-avoidant attachment

In this type of attachment it is expected that the child separates, as far as possible, from her parents. This is a situation where the child has learned not to count on his attachment figuresSince they will not attend to her needs, they will not be accessible, they will reject them emotionally or they will not establish intimate relationships with them.

Among the characteristics that we can find in children with avoidant attachment are:

• They avoid emotional contact.
• Have difficulty expressing your emotions and understand those of others.
• They behave as if they don't care about others.
• They manifest difficulties in relationships.
• They do not seek comfort or support in painful situations but withdraw into themselves.
• They show and / or seek some autonomy.

Finally, in the strange situation they will not protest at the departure of their parents from the room and they will be indifferent and / or avoidant before the reunion.

Ambivalent-resistant insecure attachment

Children with ambivalent attachment are children who show themselves. This is a situation in which parents:

• They have been able to be inconsistent with their children (for example, they can be tremendously demanding and tremendously permissive at the same time).
• They have been able to use emotional blackmail in their relationship with children.
• They can be unstable couples.
• They can be anxious people.
• They may express doubts or negative criticism to their children about themselves.

Among the characteristics of this attachment, in which the child may feel doubts and fear of being abandoned, we find:

• They are not convinced of the unconditionality of their attachment figures.
• Need approval and constant displays of affection.
• They need samples of the availability or accessibility of the attachment figure.
• They continually monitor that the attachment figure is close and hardly separate from it.
• After the separation with the attachment figure and their subsequent reunion, they have fear of a new separation.

They present difficulties in separation during the strange situation. While they want to see the attachment figure, they do not show much disposition to contact and affection, for this reason we speak of an ambivalent style.

Disorganized-disoriented insecure attachment

This last style of attachment is proposed by Main and Solomon in 1986. It is a type of attachment in which the child shows anxiety and avoidance, so it becomes a mixture of the two previous types.

There are authors who question this last type of attachment due to the heterogeneity that the profiles classified here can show. However, there appear to be certain defining characteristics, including:

• Tendency to show stereotypical behaviors.
• Sample of unexpected changes.
• Inappropriate and inconsistent behavior.
• Difficulties in relationships with others.

This type can be caused by situations of abuse or situations of similar gravity and that is why the child avoids establishing intimate relationships. As for emotions, these children are not able to control them, so they are overwhelmed by their unpleasant emotions.

As we have already pointed out, insecure attachment styles do not imply mental pathology. However, it may appear associated symptoms (such as high anxiety, irrational ideas or beliefs, etc.) that will appear in the case evaluation process and that should be treated with the corresponding techniques (relaxation techniques, cognitive restructuring, family therapy, etc.). Insecure attachment can be a source of pain and the difficulties mentioned regarding the part emotional and social.

J. Bowlby in his play “A Secure Base. Clinical applications of an attachment theory ”(Bowlby, J., 1989)^[2] offers a series of guidelines that the therapist should take into account in the individual therapy process. Let's see how to work insecure attachment in children and adults.

Bowlby indicates that the therapist should provide, within the framework of attachment theory, the conditions for that the patient explores the image of himself and his attachment figures and can reevaluate and restructure them with the help of the experiences lived within the framework of the therapeutic relationship itself. The role of the therapist is described in five main points:

• Provide a secure base to the patient.
• Help and guide the patient in exploring their relationships.
• Use the therapeutic relationship as the basis for the process.
• Connect present behavior with past experiences that may have originated them.
• Question the validity of your way of seeing yourself, others, and relationships.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Insecure attachment: what is it, types and how to work it, we recommend that you enter our category of Personality.

1. López Sánchez, F. (2009). Loves and heartbreak. Madrid: New Library.
2. Bowlby, J. (1989) A secure base. Clinical applications of an attachment theory. Barcelona: Editorial Paidós.

• Casullo, M.M., Fernández Liporace, M. (2005). Evaluation of attachment styles in adults. Research Yearbook, 12, pp 183-192.