Why aren't we happy having it all?

Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why most of us are so busy and do so many activities in the same day is because deep down we feel empty? Have you ever wondered if you are really happy? In this PsychologyOnline article, we are going to answer the question of Why aren't we happy having it all

Index

1. The existential void
2. Should I speak to a psychologist?
3. How do I enjoy the present without thinking so much about the past or the future?
4. How can we be more optimistic?
5. What if I haven't been happy for a long time?

For Patricia Benito Castro, clinical psychologist at Help Psychology and therapy specialist cognitive-behavioral, “when we talk about this 'existential void' we are dealing with a deeper issue than apparently it seems. It is a feeling that is born from within the person and that she does not make him feel proud of her current life or motivated by her life ”.

There are many reasons that can explain this existential emptiness. The person may have had a

If you find yourself in this situation, now is the time to act. Benito recommends that these people “make a point in their life and decide what they want in their future or where they would like to go in life”.

Going to a psychologist should stop being a taboo. “Any time is really a good time to go to the psychologist. A therapist doesn't necessarily have to change your life. It may be a support figure at a specific moment or a kind of counselor who helps you to move forward in a less traumatic and self-care way ”, Benito tells us.

"In fact, although it seems cliché, we could all use psychotherapy," he adds. "If at any given moment the person thinks that he is not happy and that he would like to change but does not know how, that is the time to go to therapy and start treatment."

“It is not so easy to focus on the present if we have negative emotions that block us and prevent us from moving forward, such as feelings of guilt, anger or frustration due to situations experienced in the past ”, the psychologist reminds us clinic. “That is why it is important to give these situations another emotional meaning that leaves us 'calm' with the present situations, which is colloquially called 'close stages' ".

Also important stop paying too much attention to the future, but this is complicated if we do not know what we want in our life. Benito recommends that we set realistic short-term goals, because with this tactic we can think about the future without thereby stopping thinking about the present.

Happiness is contagious, and we all wish get closer to happy people and stay away from those who are sad all the time. But being optimistic is not always easy. “You have to try to accept the emotions of our day to day and also the negative things that happen in it. Try to develop coping skills in the face of adversity and focus on the present and learn to live with the uncertainty that something could go wrong ”, he advises us.

Another tip to be happier is stop comparing ourselves with others. Try to be better than the person you were yesterday, but don't try to be better than others or compare yourself to them. Remember to smile, even if not everything in your life is perfect. Everything will never be perfect, but the only thing that matters is your attitude in the face of adversity.

“Life is like a sea with different tides and we are the raft that has to remain stable and firm in the face of different storms and rains, as well as in calm seasons. If a person is not happy, they ask why, and especially what can you do to change that reality”, Benito comments to Online Psychology.

He does not recommend that we blame others for our unhappiness, or think that what happens to us justifies our lack of joy. When we blame others, we think that we are not in control of the situation and therefore cannot improve it. On the other hand, if we feel that the responsibility is ours we get stronger and we strive to improve that situation that worries us so much.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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