Sibling abuse with abusive behaviors, whether physical, emotional or sexual, from one sibling to another. Physical abuse between siblings can range from mild to severe assaults, such as pushing or even using knives, scissors, etc.
Why does my brother hit me? Parents often do not see abuse as such, as we expect fights and assaults between siblings as a social norm. Because of this, parents often don't see sibling abuse as a problem until serious damage occurs. Besides the direct dangers, abuse can cause all kinds of long-term problems in adulthood. In this Psychology-Online article we tell you about some of the causes of sibling violence and what you can do if your brother hits you.
All children at some point in their life have fought with their siblings and had tantrums, but one key difference between This and sibling abuse is that, if one child is always the victim and the other is always the aggressor, it is a situation of abuse.
Some possible signs of abuse between siblings are:
- One of the brothers always avoid the other
- One of the brothers change your behavior, sleep patterns, eating habits, or have nightmares.
- The roles of the children are rigid, one is the aggressor and the other the victim.
- The violence between siblings progressively increases.
If your family tends to have competitive disagreements, it is important to minimize rivalry and envy between brothers emphasizing the similarities between them and avoiding accentuating the differences. Sensitive and positive behavior between siblings should be rewarded and encouraged. Positive interactions should be reinforced by parents, thus reducing the potential for sibling abuse. There should be some basic rules such as no hitting, no insults, belittling, mocking and threatening.
Something fundamental is also that there is a good communication parents-children, it may be good for parents to dedicate individual time to each of the siblings when they have been alone together.
How to deal with sibling fights
Once the fight between brothers has started, it is necessary to intervene soon to avoid an escalation of the conflict. As a parent you should allow each child to tell what the other's perception is until she fully understands. The goal is to get an expression of each child's feelings, whenever possible, what does each child want to do about the problem? Help them forge a commitment. If they can't agree, give them 10 minutes to look for alternatives and build a commitment.
It is important that you follow up on a day-to-day basis and remind them to express their feelings to each other when they start to get angry. It's not about you solving the problem for them, it's about helping them remember how problems should be solved. Hold children equally responsible when clearly stated ground rules are broken. To know how to manage sibling fightsTeach your kids how to compromise, respect each other, and divide things fairly. It is about giving them the necessary tools to avoid violence and showing them the confidence you have that they can solve it on their own.
- Seek help. Talk to your parents or main caregivers: tell them what is happening, let them know that you do not perceive your brother's abusive behavior as a simple rivalry but as aggression. Give them the solutions you have thought of to solve the problem and ask for their feedback and support.
If you do not get the expected support from your parents, go to friends or other relatives, ask them for advice, if they know a professional in case you think you need it, etc.
- Seek professional help. Going to therapy with a trained psychotherapist can help you minimize the long-term effects of sibling violence. In the sessions you must be honest and tell him everything that has happened and how you have felt. It would be very positive for the whole family to go to therapy, but in many cases this is not possible. In any case, psychotherapy will empower you to face these types of situations by providing you with strategies and tools that you should practice.
- Try talking to your brother. Try to find out the reason for the aggressions and let him know how you feel and that you perceive his behavior as abusive, not as simple rivalry and that, therefore, you are looking for a way to stop it. Meanwhile, as a self-defense strategy, you should try to identify those situations that may trigger abusive behavior on the part of your brother to run away or stop before there is an escalation in the conflict. This is a short-term solution while mobilizing the necessary tools to change the situation.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
