Assertive communication dynamics

When you are assertive, you are more self-confident and have the energy to convey your point of view with firmness, fairness, and empathy. While aggressive behavior is based on winning and not thinking about the damage that your words can cause to other people.

It is about doing what is best for our own interests without taking into account the rights, needs, feelings or wishes of other people. When you are aggressive, the energy you use is selfish. In this Psychology-Online article we tell you how to develop assertive communication and the benefits of this through assertive communication dynamics for kids and adults.

Index

1. Some benefits of assertive communication
2. Assertive communication exercises in adults and examples
3. Assertive communication dynamics in children: How can I teach my child to be assertive?

It is not always easy to identify a really assertive behavior. This is because there is a fine line between assertiveness and aggressiveness, and people can often confuse the two.

One of the main benefits of being assertive is that it can help you become more confident as you gain a better understanding of who you are and the value you offer.

Benefits of assertive communication techniques:

In addition, assertiveness provides other benefits that can help you both in your professional career and in other areas of your life. In general, those people who are assertive:

• They negotiate successful solutions "win-win". They are able to recognize the value of their opponent's position and can quickly find common ground with him.
• They are better problem solvers. They feel empowered to do whatever it takes to find the best solution to problems that arise.
• Is it so less anxious and stressed. They feel confident and do not feel threatened or victimized when things don't go as planned or expected.

There are six assertiveness techniques that can help us build assertive communication:

1. Behavior Essay

Which is literally practicing how you want to look and sound. It is a very useful assertive communication dynamic when certain are used for the first time, as it helps to dispel any emotion associated with an experience and allows you to accurately identify the desired behavior to confront.

2. Repeated claim (the 'scratched disc')

This assertiveness technique allows you to feel comfortable ignoring verbal traps manipulative, argumentative baits and irrelevant logic as you stick to your point. To use this assertiveness technique more effectively, use quiet repetition, say what you want to say, and stay focused on the topic. You will find that there is no need to rehearse this technique, and there is no need to "promote yourself" to deal with others.

Example:

• "I would like to show you some of our products"
• "No thanks, i do not care"
• "I really have a great variety to offer you"
• "It may be true, but I'm not interested at the moment."
• "Is there anyone else here who might be interested?"
• "I don't want any of these products"
• "Okay, could you take this brochure and think about it?"
• "Yes, I will take a brochure"
• "Thanks"
• "No problem"

3. Nebulization

This technique allows you receive criticism comfortablywithout getting anxious or defensive, and without rewarding manipulative criticism. To do this you need to acknowledge the criticism, agree that there may be some truth to what they tell you, but remain the judge of the choice of your action.

A example of this could be: "I agree that there are probably times when I don't answer you ...”

4. Negative investigation

This assertiveness exercise seeks self-criticism in close relationships, encouraging the expression of honest and negative feelings to improve communication. To use it effectively, you need to listen to critical comments, clarify your understanding of those criticisms, use the information if it is helpful, or ignore the information if it is manipulative.

A example of this assertiveness technique would be: "Do you think / believe that I am not interested?"

5. Negative statement

This assertiveness technique allows you to more comfortably look at the negative aspects of your own behavior or personality without feeling defensive or anxious, which also reduces hostility from your critics. You must accept your mistakes or faults, but not apologize. Instead, shyly and compassionately accept hostile criticism of your negative qualities.

A example would: "Yes you're right. I don't always listen carefully to what you have to say".

6. Feasible compromise

When you feel that your self-esteem is not in danger, consider a workable commitment to the other person. You always can negotiate for your material goals Unless the commitment affects your personal feelings and therefore your self-esteem. However, if the end goal involves a question of self-esteem, THERE CAN BE NO COMMITMENT.

A example of this assertiveness technique would be: "I understand that you have a need to speak and I need to finish what I am doing. So how about we meet in half an hour?"

A child who is passive might refrain from communicating with her teacher for fear of how he would react or respond. A child who is aggressive may yell at the teacher or interrupt the class to accuse him of something.

As you can see, these two extremes are not the most adaptive form of communication. Assertiveness is the healthiest style of communication and requires that we recognize and defend our own rights, while respecting the rights of others. Additionally, assertiveness is the ability to advocate for ourselves in an honest and respectful manner.

Both adults and children may have initial difficulties with assertiveness. However, like any other skill, with practice, it becomes easier. For children, assertiveness skills play a very important role in a variety of situations, from the playground to from recess to class to a birthday party, from bullying to teasing to peer pressure. classmates. It is important that children learn to resolve a conflict.

Here we present some assertive communication dynamics in which you and your child can develop your assertiveness skills and, in turn, establish healthy communication patterns:

Talk about assertiveness

Sometimes we tell our children to do things without offering much explanation. If we tell her for example "be assertive" is something that a child will not necessarily know how to do without her help. Ask your child about situations with friends or at school where he has struggled with assertiveness. Maybe she was excluded from a game at recess or teased on the bus, ask her about these situations by asking her and answering her assertively. When he is ready, you can change the roles and in this way your child will be practicing and establishing assertive communication, you can give him explicit explanations of what it is to be assertive.

Assertiveness model

As parents, model behavior Appropriateness is one of the most effective ways to help our children learn to behave. And this can be used with assertive communication skills. It is important for your child to see you stand up for yourself in various situations, especially when your opinion is not the most popular. When you practice phrases like "Thank you for sharing your perspective. I have a different opinion, but now I understand yours. "You are teaching your child that it is okay to disagree, but that it is important to stand up for yourself with respect.

You can teach her to take the following steps when defending her perspective:

• Make eye contact
• Keep calm
• Speak clearly
• Use a firm voice

Learning and practicing how to communicate assertively You will both gain a better understanding of yourself and others, tolerance for others and their ideas, and confidence in your ability to speak and feel heard.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Assertive communication dynamics, we recommend that you enter our category of Cognitive psychology.