According to INE data, in 2011 7.4% of families were reconstituted. More and more couples are separating after years of relationship and forming a new family with a new partner and the sons or daughters of their previous relationships. This change may mean that problems arise between members of the new family. The most common difficulties and challenges to overcome range from changes in organization and routines to jealousy. That is why in this Psychology-Online article we want to talk to you about the most common Reconstituted Family Problems and Solutions appropriate to each of them.
A reconstituted family or assembled family is the one formed by a couple in which at least one of the members contributes a son or daughter from a previous relationship.
In order for the family to be reconstituted, it is necessary for a previous family to break up, either due to the separation or the death of one of the members of the couple.
In reconstituted families, new roles appear, such as stepmother, stepfather, step-sister, stepbrother or "half-brother" (when the new couple have children in common).
These days we find many types of families and more and more families are reconstituted, especially due to the increase in divorce. The concept is not new, but before the most common was that of a widowed mother or father and now it is that of a divorced mother or father. In fact, this type of family is increasing so much that it could soon be the most common, surpassing the traditional family.
But is it easy to live in a reconstituted family? We are going to see the problems that can arise in these joints, as well as the possible solutions so that it works as well as possible.
Children's rejection of the new partner
That the children reject their father's new partner and that they do not accept him as a member of the family is one of the most frequent problems in reconstituted families.
The solution is to understand that the new couple has a new role in the reconstituted family, that of stepmother or stepfather, therefore, should not attempt to substitute for the parent of the stepchildren. Here we talk more about what to do when a child does not accept the partner of the father or mother.
Bad relationship with ex-partner
So that this is not a problem, it is convenient that contact with the ex-partner focuses only on issues related to children in common. A correct dialogue and a assertive communication contribute to better understanding. If this is not possible, working with a professional can help resolve differences and make the best decisions for the children. In this article you can read more about how to deal with your ex-partner when you have children.
New rules of coexistence
In complex families, in which each member of the new couple brings children to the reconstituted family, the previous rules of coexistence can differ and create conflicts.
Solution: Establishing a new system that takes into account previous coexistence rules, as well as new common ones, can facilitate adaptation. Is about reach agreements in which everyone gives up something to adjust to a new coexistence.
Changes of address
Change of address of the stepchildren to the address of the new partner of their parent. In this situation, especially if the new couple brings their own children, the new partners may feel displaced or out of place.
Solution: establish your own spaces if possible for each of the children. If you need to share a room, create similar separate spaces within the same room.
Jealousy between stepbrothers
Education, privileges, and care for individual children and stepchildren may differ. If this happens, it is very likely that they will be jealous.
Solution: In the new family, an agreement must be reached in which the members enjoy similar privileges and education as far as possible. This is not usually easy to adapt especially when the children are older. But the couple's attention to each of the children and stepchildren must be a couple so that neither feels excluded. It is good to encourage the realization of family leisure activities and better if they are new activities for everyone. Thus the bonds are strengthened and new memories and anecdotes are created for the new family.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
