I'm TIRED of CARING for my mother, what do I do?

It is quite common for sons and daughters to take care of their fathers and mothers once they are older. In addition, the role of the caregiver is rarely discussed and it is not seen with good eyes that their parents end up in a residence. There is a constant belief about having to take care of our parents at home, since when we were little they took care of us.

Although this is the case in a certain way, it must be borne in mind that, on many occasions, this belief is taken to the extreme, leading to in the caregiver, physical and mental health problems, due to the exhaustion of caring for a dependent person without any type of break. In this Psychology-Online article, we will see what can you do if you are tired of taking care of your motherWe will talk about the caregiver syndrome, the conflicts that may arise between siblings due to this situation and the possible consequences it leaves in the family.

Index

1. What is burnout caregiver syndrome
2. Family problems
3. Caring for the caregiver

The caregiver syndrome is defined by a feeling of overload, exhaustion, stress, feeling of isolation of other people, since the life of the caregiver is limited to attending to the needs of the patient.

What are the consequences of Caregiver Syndrome? This state entails the neglect of the family nucleus, lack of freedom, privations and sacrifices personal conflicts between family members due to the difference in time devoted to the patient, negative feelings towards the relative to be cared for, among many others. The very high level of tiredness and stress it also has long-term effects such as heart problems, anxiety, and depression. Therefore, it is normal for you to be tired or tired if you take care of a sick or dependent person.

It has been seen that people decide to take care of a relative all the time due to the moral obligation they feel.

It is quite common for the main caregiver to be one. The overload that he suffers causes conflicts between the children of the patient since, on the one hand, the main caregiver complains of being the most responsible for the situation and, on the other hand, the family often acts as a source of criticism and not of support for. That is, they reproach the main caregiver for not doing things differently, for example. For this reason, conflicts between siblings for taking care of her mother or father.

Over time, this situation opens a gap in the affection between the family members that, on many occasions, when the parent has died, produce innumerable conflicts regarding the inheritance since the main care is considered with greater right than the other siblings on the herself.

It is therefore of utmost importance that responsibility rests fairly on the different family members and also have formal external support.

Caring for a dependent as a family leaves consequences. As we mentioned earlier, it is common for there to be a false belief of having to care for the sick twenty-four hours a day. This places a great burden on a single person causing the aforementioned health effects. These health effects suppose that the person ends up developing negative feelings towards the patient, coming to take care of him worse and worse or, in the worst case, to treat you badly because you are blamed for the problems that have arisen as a result of being a caregiver.

Therefore, some guidelines should be followed to alleviate the overload of the caregiver:

• Ask for help. First of all, you must understand that it is necessary to be well physically and mentally to take good care of your family member, so you should not feel guilty about asking others for help family members or register the patient in a day center or a respite center, so that he can have a few hours for himself and can run errands but also to rest.
• Maintain healthy lifestyle habits. On the other hand, it is important to maintain healthy lifestyle habits regarding feeding, sleeping, sport... and also with regard to mental health, that is, having activities of leisure with oneself, also activities with other people to preserve their social life.
• Don't overprotect. It is important that you also allow your family member to do all the activities that he or she is capable of, not only to promote their autonomy, but so that they depend less on others and do not have to dedicate so much attention.
• Accept that you are human. If at any time negative feelings and socially unacceptable thoughts appear (such as that you are tired or tired of taking care of your mother or father), it is logical, normal and is partly due to the overload. Do not feel guilty, accept that you will have bad days and ask your family for help so that, on those days, they give you support and you can rest.
• Avoid stress and conflict situations, since you already live in a stressful situation.
• Dedicate time to your needs. It is extremely important to find a balance in which the caregiver has time to self-care and is also cared for by others.
• Learn about the disease. Finally, it can be quite useful to find out about your relative's illness, since that so you will know how best to help you and you will know what symptoms are common and you can expect that happen.
• Understand you and take care of you. First of all, understand yourself, take care of yourself. When your parents took care of you, they also had support, from their own parents, from daycare centers, from other relatives... You should not carry the situation alone since, once again, to take care of others you must first take care of yourself.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to I'm tired of taking care of my mother, what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Family problems.

• Flores, E., Rivas, E., & Seguel, F. (2012). Level of overload in the performance of the role of the family caregiver of the elderly with severe dependency. Science and Nursing, 18(1), 29-41.
• Garro-Gil, N. (2011). Analysis of the "Caregiver Syndrome" in cases of Alzheimer's disease and other dementias from an ethical-anthropological approach.