Why is it so hard for me to talk to people

No person is linear throughout his life in his behavior and in his way of relating to others. For this reason, even the most sociable people have times when they have a hard time relating to others. There are many different situations in which a person can ask this question: Why is it so hard for me to talk to people? In Psychology-Online, we reflect on this question from different possible perspectives.

There are four possible situations why you may find it difficult to relate to people:

You feel out of place

There are situations in which the person has a specific difficulty with a specific area of ​​her life. An environment in which you literally feel out of place, you do not connect with people at a general level and this is evident in the way you position yourself in that environment. He takes a back seat because he believes that he has nothing interesting to contribute to others.

Lack of training

When for some reason we spend a season of our life more focused on our work and put aside social life, we can notice how our own

Anxiety

You worry about the impression you can make on others and you give too much importance to this issue. Someone who lives so focused on the purpose of causing a good image but is afraid not to, is constantly immersed in a mental dialogue of hypotheses, assumptions, ideas and contradictions that block the actual passage of the action.

You have repeated to yourself conditioned ideas about your way of being that you think you have been pigeonholed in a role that responds to how you think you should behave according to your way of being. For example, a very shy person who has received this message of shyness for years in their life, may need more time to realize that the shyness it does not define you in an absolute way.

You are going through a bad time

When a person feels weak on a mental level, they also have more difficulties to make the effort that accompanies personal relationships marked by concentration, attention, listening, collaboration. That is, when a person prefers to be alone frequently because he is going through a moment in which his mood connects with this frequency, so he also has more difficulty speaking and relating to the rest.

Here are basic tips to gain confidence in your ties with others and to be able to relate better with people:

1. Find support in the people who convey the most confidence to you. Even when you get to a new group, at first glance, there are already people who through their nonverbal language they inspire you with a higher level of closeness. Wherever you are, enhance your contact with those people who are more related to you because, in this way, you feel more integrated in the place.
2. Respect your state of mind. Do not force yourself to give a certain image to others because your true center is born from the balance of being in tune with yourself. To gain self-confidence in relationships with others, you also have to promote a healthy bond with you. Aspire to improve as a human being (inner growth is a universal vocation), but never underestimate yourself.
3. Choose conversation topics that you feel comfortable with. If you choose like-minded people, then those common points that you have with those people can give you an inexhaustible source of possibilities to initiate possible topics of dialogue.
4. Personal relationships are gradual. Accept your own rhythm and observe the positive side of the passage of time as a basis that encourages the development of bonds of trust. Therefore, the context in which you find yourself influences. It is logical that when you have just met a new person, it is more difficult for you to talk to them than when you have had more encounters.
5. Don't turn virtual relationships into a haven To show your true self Online contact is very positive as long as it does not become an excuse to cover other gaps.
6. Respect the rules of social courtesy, those that constitute a common frame of reference of good manners and education.

If this difficulty has become a blockage in your life than prevents you from developing as a human beingFor example, if you feel that this brake constantly interferes negatively with your vital purpose of making new friends and build relationships, then, the help of a specialized therapy can give you new tools to generate new skills. That is to say, that right now you feel this way does not mean that this situation is always repeated, because you can evolve as a human being. And, sometimes, the key to such personal progress is the initiative to ask for support.

When this blockage represents a burden of habitual suffering, then, ask for help because it is important to identify the cause to determine an effective remedy.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.