How to stop fooling yourself

  • Jul 26, 2021
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How to stop fooling yourself

Lying is one of the most frustrating events in personal relationships. However, the deception that hurts us the most is the one we impose on ourselves for fear of opening my eyes to reality. You live with yourself twenty-four hours a day, for this reason, when you condition yourself with a distorted view of reality, you walk on shaky ground. This is the case, for example, in the false hopes of unrequited love. In Psychology-Online we answer this question: How to stop fooling yourself? We help you to face the truth of a situation that is difficult for you to assume as it is but that generates so much psychological wear and tear.

  1. Observe reality. No matter how hard you try to make things a certain way, you cannot impose your will on the flow of reality itself. That means that on more than one occasion, if you are living in a situation of this type, you will suffer the pain and bitterness of the constant breaking of expectations. Simply because reality imposes its own voice.
  2. "Hope is the worst of evils
    , because it prolongs the torment of man "a message from Friedrich Nietzsche. This reflection applied to the concrete context of false hopes is totally true. Since it prolongs the agony of those who wait for something that never comes. Therefore, although hope is a very positive feeling, there comes a time when, in a certain context, it loses its meaning. That is, if a situation makes you suffer on a recurring basis, perhaps you should reflect on a change in attitude.
  3. Listen to the advice of others. Reality does not end with your point of view. Those people who know you and who know your situation observe external details that can complement your own gaze. You may find it uncomfortable to hear certain words, however, beyond the discomfort, try to observe what is the truth in those observations that come from people who do not want to disappoint you without any reason.
  4. Maturity. Life is not always fair and you do not always get what you set out to do. From this realistic premise, he assumes reality as it is. Assuming means having the maturity to accept a situation that breaks with your own personal desire.
  5. Stop telling yourself stories stop adorning reality with subjective details. Describe the objective reasons that have brought you to this situation. To do this, do not focus on interpretations but on how things have been in an observable way.
  6. What excuses do you make? When we are victims of self-deception, we make excuses for ourselves to justify a reality that is not such. For this reason, a step that will allow you to move forward is to identify what is the justification that you give yourself to continue at this point.
  7. Try to distance yourself from that matter. Try to put it out of your mind for a few days. Take a trip, for example. Spend your time on other matters. Why is this distance so important? Because it helps you gain emotional objectivity.
  8. Cry if you need to. Vent. But do not postpone disappointment for fear of facing that reality because the longer you postpone a certain event, the more you suffer.
  9. Look in the mirror with satisfaction. Keep your eyes on that image. You deserve to be true to yourself.
  10. What are your beliefs? For example, some people deceive themselves before a reality because they place their own value on its external results. In that case, change your beliefs since you are an immense being in dignity regardless of whether a failure or a heartbreak comes into your life.

It is important that you know who you are and what you want from life, therefore, in this other Psychology-Online article we give you some tips so that you learn to find yourself.

How to stop fooling yourself - 10 tips to stop fooling yourself

It seems a paradox but, curiously, he who deceives himself puts on a protective shield against a reality that hurts him. However, the truth is that suffering does not arise from reality itself, but from that self-deception. That is, what you resist.

There is a important difference between pain and suffering. A news item can cause you the natural pain of disappointment. However, suffering is the repeated attitude you adopt when you refuse to move forward. From a metaphorical point of view, self-deception is something similar to stumbling a thousand times on the same stone. You need to widen your gaze to identify what is beyond that black point.

You deserve to be honest with yourself. You deserve to give yourself this act of love towards yourself. Put aside all possible futures that are what keep you tied to false hopes. Leave out the "what if?" that produces an effect of doubt in your mind. It is evident that the future is yet to be writtenHowever, generally, there is a coherence between present and future. Therefore, if in the present you have many clues that indicate that a situation is not possible, that will not change in a simple way by magic.

It is positive to fall into personal exhaustion in a situation of this type. It is important that put self-love into practice of wanting to stop being in this situation that only brings you suffering. Those false hopes only produce slight mirages of joy, in the face of the ballast of the tons of disappointment that you live daily. Therefore, face the situation as soon as possible.

If, for example, you have been wanting to know how a person feels about you for a long time because doubt only makes you suffer, value the step of taking the initiative. How to stop fooling yourself? Making a act of bravery and assuming the consequences because nothing is as painful as the self-deception that leads you to lose your leading role in your own life.

You may be happyAlthough what you long for does not occur. This is the learning that you will discover if you give yourself the opportunity to turn the page.

How to stop deceiving yourself - How to face a self-deceptive situation and accept the truth

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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