My PARTNER DOES NOT ACCEPT my CHILDREN, what do I do?

  • Jul 26, 2021
click fraud protection
My partner does not accept my children, what do I do?

If everything evolves as before, it may be that in a few years most of the families will be reconstituted families. That is, families made up of couples in which at least one of the two members brings children from a previous relationship. And, although a few years ago separation and divorce were considered a failure, now we understand that failure is spending life with someone who does not make us happy. And if before we thought that divorce was harmful to children, now we know that it can be much worse if they are raised in a conflictive and unhappy environment.

Therefore, after a certain age it is increasingly likely that a new couple will have children from their previous relationship. In this Psychology-Online article we will talk about what to do if your new partner does not accept your children. Is it the end of the relationship? Do you have a solution? Let's see it!

You may also like: My son does not accept my partner: what do I do?

Index

  1. My partner ignores my children
  2. Why does my partner seem to hate my children
  3. What to do if my partner does not accept my children

My partner ignores my children.

Do you think that your partner does not pay attention to your children? It is best to talk to him or her to clarify what behaviors lead to that perception and ask why. There may be some explanation, so it is best to discuss it before jumping to conclusions.

If their motives are reasonable (for example, you have only been around for a short time and there haven't been many occasions to interact with them yet, they are a person who it costs a lot to relate or is not used to dealing with children and does not know how to do it), you can try to establish the relationship with infants or improve:

  • Organizing a family outing that allows you to spend more time with your children.
  • Looking for common hobbies so they have topics to talk about.

If, on the contrary, their motives do not convince you or they do not show interest in interacting with the children, there is not much to do. A bad relationship between a new partner and children breaks the family harmony and it is a source of problems and confrontations, since the problems of a relationship due to uncommon children are very common.

Why does my partner seem to hate my children.

If your partner does not have children of their own and does not know what a lifestyle with young children is like, it may be difficult at first to adapt. And it is that plans with children do not have much to do with those without children. Remember the plans you made before and the ones you make now, aren't they different? Different places, different companies and, above all, different schedules. With children you do not go to a concert and then to dance, in any case you can try to have dinner out and return home early, before the little ones fall victim to sleep.

But that the plans are different does not mean that they are worse. The point is to adapt to a new lifestyle and establish new priorities. However, your partner may have no intention of adjusting. Children may even get in the way. What happens then?

Do you know when you live alone and you go to a supermarket to do the shopping and you want to buy 2 yogurts, but the pack is 4? The packaging clearly states: indivisible pack. So you have to take 4 yogurts or none. Well, apply it to your situation with your children. You are an indivisible pack and also they and they depend on you. Whoever wants to stay in your life must do so with all the consequences.

When the children are older, things change. If your new relationship has started with older sons or daughters, the conflicts that may exist may go somewhat unnoticed. But you must be aware that the relationship is good or at least cordial and respectful.

And when the sons or daughters already have their own family, the problems do not usually go beyond some uncomfortable family reunion.

What to do if my partner does not accept my children.

Can you do something about it? Do you have a solution? First of all, if your partner is not accepting of your children, you should rethink your relationship. That is, if your partner does not accept your children, the relationship will be unsustainable because your children are a very important part of your life and this will not change.

Here I must make a point. It is not the same that your partner does not accept your son or daughter, that your partner does not accept that your daughter treats him / her badly.

This second case usually happens sometimes when the children are pre-adolescents or adolescents and they believe that their mother's new partner wants to replace their father or mother. Then the children feel threatened and insecure and respond by attacking or being rebellious. This situation will make relationships difficult at first, but it can be fixed over time and with a few interventions:

  • Here is important that your new partner do his part and arm yourself with patience.
  • The new partner must stay in your role, that is, stepfather or stepmother, and in no case want to adopt the role of father or mother.
  • Explain to your son or daughter how important it is to you that there is a good relationship between him or her and your new partner it can be a good start.
  • Also, you must make it clear that it is still the most important thing to you and that he has not arrived to replace his other parent.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to My partner does not accept my children, what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Family problems.

Bibliography

  • Hayman, S. (2010). My children and your children: Create a new family and live together successfully. Madrid: Pyramid.
instagram viewer