FEAR of MARRIAGE: What it is, Causes and How to Overcome It

Sometimes couples with years of relationship break up when one of the partners raises the marriage. This can occur for a number of reasons, one of which is gamophobia. In Psychology-Online we explain what is fear of marriage, what causes it and how you can overcome it.

Index

1. What is the fear of marriage called
2. Why am i afraid of marriage
3. How do you know if it is gamophobia or is it that you do not want to commit?
4. How to overcome fear of marriage
5. What to do if your partner is afraid of marriage

The fear of marriage, also know as gamophobiaIt is the irrational fear that one of the members of the couple presents to formalize the relationship through marriage.

In general, phobias appear before adulthood, however, this usually occurs then for obvious reasons. It can be triggered by an event that has impacted the subject, such as a divorce. Likewise, it is possible that the gamophobic or gamophobic was raised in a home with one of the absent parents or that it was not raised in a family with married parents.

The causes of gamophobia or fear of getting married can be very diverse. Among the most frequent are:

• Have lived one traumatic experience either in the first person or through a close person who has experienced a divorce with very negative consequences.
• Refusing to assume an adult role It can also be a cause of fear of marriage. Sometimes rejection can be determined by the mistaken belief that marriage ends youth.
• Associate marriage with responsibilities, children and monotony. The gamophobic may dread the idea of ​​being a parent and taking on responsibilities for which they are not prepared. If you feel identified or identified, you may be interested in the following article about the causes of not wanting to have children.

If you are not sure that the real reason for your partner's rejection of marriage is gamophobia, you can check for symptoms. As in any disorder, not all have the same symptoms or to the same extent, but these signs could indicate the presence of the phobia:

• Avoid having conversations related to marriage and if someone brings it up, they seem nervous.
• As in other phobias, exposure to the feared object or situation generates anxiety: sweating, shaking, racing heart rate, feeling of choking, etc.
• You may have suffered a panic attack or crisis of anguish.
• You may have escaped from some situation or conversation regarding the marriage (flight response).

Gamophobia can affect the development of the life of those who suffer from it in that it can affect their partner, break their romantic relationships or prevent them from forming a family.

In order to overcome marriage phobia or gamophobia, the method with the best results and the longest duration is cognitive behavioral therapy.

The first step would be to receive information about the phobia suffered, in this case gamophobia, to better understand the problem and be able to work on it. In the following article you will find more information about what is a phobia.

Next, the professional will help you identify a series of thoughts that are causing the negative emotions we want to avoid. Once identified, he will train the change of thoughts limiting by others more realistic and adaptive. Finally, behavioral intervention will come into play. The most appropriate in cases of phobias, to reduce anxiety symptoms associates, will be the exposure therapy.

In addition to psychological treatment, these recommendations may be helpful:

• Talk to the partner about the problem when it is identified it can favor its resolution. The partner of a gamophobic may believe that he or she is the cause of the rejection of marriage, but by understanding the disorder, you will discover the real cause and that will facilitate treatment.
• Chat with married couples on the advantages of marriage. Make a list of pros and cons to decide in an objective way and not guided by the phobia.
• Identify the differences between being married or not. Perhaps checking that there are not so many differences is helpful.
• Finally, understand that marriage is not a no-return decision, can facilitate the decision. Perhaps in other times it was an unbreakable commitment, but today and in our society there is no obligation for couples to stay together if they do not decide freely.

It may be the case that you are ready to take another step in the relationship, but your partner is afraid of getting married, what to do then?

Marriage is not a prerequisite to continue being a couple with a healthy and pleasant relationship. But you may be very excited about the celebration of the sacrament or civil union, that you have dreamed of getting married since you were a child or that you want to do it because it means something special to you.

If your partner suffers from gamophobia, his rejection of marriage is not a free decision, but made based on an irrational fear. This is why it is so important treat the phobia with a professional. Once overcome, your partner will be able to decide freely. You may change your mind or continue to reject the marriage, but it will be consciously and in Based on that, you can work to reach an agreement that satisfies both, even if it is not one hundred percent. one hundred. Remember that in agreements you have to give to receive, give in to get.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Fear of marriage: what is it, causes and how to overcome it, we recommend that you enter our category of Clinical psychology.

• Buela-Casal, G. Sierra, J.C. (2009). Psychological evaluation and treatment manual. Madrid: New Library.