Divorce is one of the life events rated as most stressful. Acute and chronic stress, especially, affects emotional and physical health. There is research that suggests that divorced or widowed people have more chronic diseases (diabetes, cancer ...) by 20% than married people. Also, other studies showed that a person's happiness level decreases as divorce approaches, if the person doesn't work on it. In this Psychology-Online article, we show you some tips that can help you prevent depression in this situation, as well as techniques that can help you get out of depression after a divorce.
There are cases where The divorce becomes a stressful and traumatic event in which pain is excessive and some are experienced symptoms of depression:
- Not being able to sleep or sleeping more than normal.
- Eating in excess or lack of appetite.
- Excessive fatigue
- Strange and unusual pains.
- Excessive use of alcohol or drugs.
- Concentration difficulty.
- Persistent negative thoughts.
- Irritability or anger
- Anxiety or restlessness.
- Feeling of guilt or worthlessness.
- Pessimism or indifference.
- Loss of interest in activities that were previously very rewarding for the person.
- Recurring thoughts of death.
- Suicidal thoughts (immediate professional help).
Although it is normal to feel some of these symptoms during this process, the person should contact a specialist if you experience at least 4 of the above symptoms on a day-to-day basis for a prolonged period of weather.
Since the person knows that there is going to be a separation, he goes through a series of emotional stages regarding this vital event, generally characterized by pain and loss:
Denial
Denial is how we try to protect ourselves from an "emotional storm" and thus try to overcome emotionally. It is a useful coping mechanism, as long as it does not prevent us from leading a normalized life. Therefore, the characteristic of this stage is that it is not abused, that is, we must not stay in denial, refusing to face reality is not an adequate strategy. Therefore, denial is a useful mechanism in the short term, while in the long term it involves high costs in the life of the person.
Anger
During this stage, the other is blamed for everything that happens to us. For a time, all those adversities that we encounter in our new life are the fault of the other person, we do not play any role. Anger or anger makes us not see anything good in the ex-partner. It is a stage in which any moment is used to release all pent-up anger in the denial phase.
Negotiation
This stage is characterized by trying to fix or repair the damage caused by the separation. It is when you stop to think and say I can't with this, I will negotiate anything with him / her as long as not to go through this.
It is an attempt to get your "life" back. At this stage, you start to yearn for the positive aspects of the ex, his smile, his jokes..., and you want him to return. That is, it goes from despising it in the anger stage to pondering it in this negotiation stage. This is where the person thinks about whether divorce is the right decision or not.
Depression
At this stage, you will not feel like leaving the house, or doing anything. You prefer to be in bed or watching TV most of the time. Sadness is your companion during this stage. This is an expected stage throughout this process, where the person develops the duel (she has lost her companion). Therefore, it is essential that you surround yourself with a good support system, be it family or friends, as well as therapy sessions, if necessary. It's very important do not isolate during this stage.
Acceptance
This stage is the end. After having gone through adversity, you have overcome it and you have learned from it, but we must bear in mind that accept the new situation It does not mean that we are always happy and do not have negative emotions about the divorce. There may still be times when you feel angry or sad about the loss of your marriage. The important thing is that even if you still have those negative moments or feelings, they are no longer paralyzing or interfering in your life.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
