How to help a child with BPD

The main concern of parents is to ensure the well-being of their children, especially when it comes to situations where they lack sufficient control to achieve it. One of those situations is when you suffer from a mental illness, such as Borderline personality disorder, which not only affects the person who suffers it, but also the closest people. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental condition characterized by great difficulty in regulating emotions, provoking in the sufferer prolonged episodes of instability and impulsivity, potentially harmful. This brings with it serious consequences such as problems with self-image, interpersonal relationships unstable, self-harm, and worse, suicidal thoughts and attempts that can culminate in realization of this one. But, How to help a child with BPD? If you have a child who has been diagnosed with this disorder, you should know that you can contribute to having the sufficient motivation for her to start and continue with her treatment and encourage her to be as stable as possible possible.

In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to give you a series of tips that will undoubtedly help you to know how to help a child with BPD.

Index

1. Stay Informed About Borderline Personality Disorder
2. Remember the importance of receiving treatment
3. Get involved in treating BPD
4. Don't feel guilty
5. Be patient
6. Don't take things personally
7. Set limits and norms
8. Active listening and understanding
9. Support groups
10. Unconditional support

It is proven that patients who receive adequate support can become more stable than those who do not, even without receiving treatment. Although this does not have to diminish the importance of receiving it, since treatment is essential for the cure of this disorder.

To know how to help a child with BPD, you need to learn everything you can about this disorder, why is it so important? Because otherwise you will not be able to understand what your son is feeling right now, since what he does he does not he is doing of his own free will, it is a disease like diabetes or gastroenteritis of which he lacks control. So it is necessary to give it the importance it deserves and also be interested in everything related to this condition. Some of the things that are essential for you to know about BPD, is to know what it consists of, what are its symptoms, causes, consequences and what the treatment for its cure consists of.

After having informed yourself in detail about everything related to this disease, you should know that to cure it, it is necessary for your child to receive a psychological and pharmacological treatment. However, it is common for the person with BPD to resist being cared for and receiving treatment. The important thing is not to give up, even if you notice improvements in your child at some point, if he does not receive the appropriate treatment, he will surely relapse.

If your child is already receiving the appropriate treatment, it is necessary that always keep abreast of their situation and that you get involved in it.

To do this, you can approach the professionals who are treating you so that you can know what the treatment of the borderline personality disorder, what is its approximate duration, how can you help your child with it, what is the dose of drugs that have been administered, what do they work for, what can you do from home to promote treatment, accompany you to the sessions, etc.

On many occasions, feelings of guilt tend to appear in parents because for one reason or another they feel responsible that their child is suffering from this disorder. Some specific situations for which they often feel guilty are as follows:

• For not having detected this situation before.
• Having reproached, punished and answered her son in a bad way due to not understanding the reason for her reactions and mood swings.
• They come to take responsibility for their self-harm and relapses.
• For not being able to cure your child.

Among other things related, mainly, to the ignorance they had about this disease and not having been able to detect it previously. Therefore, it is necessary that parents who have a child with BPD are aware of the following:

• You are not the culprit that your child suffers from this disorder.
• You can help in some way to help your child be more stable, but you cannot control it.
• You can help your child receive the appropriate treatment, but you cannot cure him.
• Feeling guilty is only going to make the situation worse.

Although it is said easy, you should do everything possible to keep calm and be patient with your child. Some tools that you can use to stay calm in all kinds of situations and act when faced with BPD are the following:

• You can practice the diaphragmatic breathing at any time and place where you are. This technique is very simple and is carried out in the following way: you inhale slowly and deeply (feeling how it fills with air your abdomen), hold your breath for 5 or 10 seconds and then exhale slowly, noticing how your abdomen deflates little by little. little. You can do it as many times as you consider necessary, it will help you feel calmer. This technique can also be useful for your child, as it will help him to regulate her emotions.
• When you are extremely irritated and are tempted to answer your child in a bad way, back off and go somewhere else. Once you have calmed down, continue talking to him (her). You can also suggest this to your child to put into practice when he is trying to regulate his emotions and unwanted behavior.

Remember that one of the characteristics of people with BPD is saying irrational and even cruel things, they can also react intensely to small situations. Remember that this is considered normal in this type of disorder and one of the reasons why they act like this is because they have an intense fear of being abandoned. That is why you should never take the things your child tells you personally or put yourself on your own with hers, as it will make the situation worse.

Because in these types of disorders people have great difficulty controlling their behavior, it is necessary that to help your child with BPD set healthy limits and rules at home.

To do this, it must be taken into account that both parents have to agree on what they will be and how they will be carried out. We must also consider that they must be respected at all times, it is not valid to put them and then not comply with them or for one to say “yes” to one thing and the other “no”.

Always ensure that your child feel heard and understood, even if you do not agree with what it says. You need to earn their trust and make them feel truly cared for. It must be taken into account that in this type of disease, people tend to have suicidal ideas or behaviors (which are never to ignore) and gaining their trust makes you closer and your child tends to communicate more about what happens.

Support groups can be very helpful for your child with borderline personality disorder. These groups are created so that people with the same condition can relate their experiences and express their feelings to others. It is very beneficial, since they can come to feel identified and understood when realizing that they are not the only ones to whom the same things happen, that there are other people who are suffering like them, who can express themselves without fear of being judged or rejected, that there is a way out and that they have more support than they think.

Last but not least, mention that it is necessary for your child he feels supported at all times and do not let them feel alone in this situation. Always show that you are there for him (her) through physical contact, actions, and words of encouragement and motivation.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to help a child with BPD, we recommend that you enter our category of Clinical psychology.