Depression is a psychological disorder that affects 350 million people in the world, according to the WHO. It is considered the main cause of disability, in addition to the relationship it has with suicide. Each year approximately 800,000 people commit suicide. Incredible true?
It is estimated that 1 in 10 adults have had, have or will have a depressive episode. Therefore, it is likely that one of your loved ones has this disorder at some point. In which case, you may be interested in knowing how to help your partner, friend, or family member with depression. In this Psychology-Online article you will find how to help a person with depression and anxiety, the things that are best not to say to someone with depression, as well as different tips and tricks for living with a depressed person.
In order to help a person with depression, you first need to know what depression is and how a person with depression feels. A depressed person is a person who is vulnerable, feels bad, does not feel like anything and is unable to envision a positive future.
Depression is a psychological disorder that can take many forms, from persistent depressive disorder or major depressive disorder, to the depressive episode of bipolar disorder. In addition, depression presents in a different in each patient. However, there are some symptoms that are found in most people with depressive disorder.
Symptoms of depression
The most common symptoms and those that DSM 5 takes into account in making the diagnosis of a depressive disorder are the following:
- Depressed mood The person with depression is most of the day in low spirits, feels sad, empty, hopeless and seems tearful.
- Decreased interest and pleasure. The depressed person is seen to be unmotivated and disinterested towards issues that they used to like. The activities that made him feel good before, now don't.
- Changes in weight It may be that your appetite has increased, leading to weight gain, and the opposite may also happen, that you have lost your appetite and lost weight. Weight change is considered significant if it has decreased or increased by more than 5% in one month.
- Sleep disturbance. The person with depression may suffer insomnia, which can both consist of difficulties falling asleep and waking up too soon without having had enough sleep. You can also have hypersomnia, that is, being more sleepy and sleeping much more than usual.
- Movement disturbance The depressed person appears agitated and restless or quite the opposite: slowed down.
- Fatigue. The depressed person is tired and without energy almost every day.
- Futility or guilt. The person with depression has feelings of worthlessness or guilt, feels worthless or guilty excessively.
- Decreased ability to think. A person with depression has a hard time maintaining attention, thinking, and concentrating. Memory and the ability to make decisions can also be affected.
- Thoughts of death. The person with depression may have thoughts about death and suicide.
You can see the symptoms of depression more types in the Goldberg Depression Test.
If you have a friend or relative who has a depressive disorder, it is normal that you want to help him and that you ask yourself "how do I help a depressed person?" It should be borne in mind that each person is different and may need one type of help or another. They may even not want your help, as their feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and pessimism prevent them from assessing the importance of asking for help. Therefore, in this article we also want to explain how to help a person with depression who does not want help. These tips will also help you if you are interested in how to help someone with depression and anxiety or how to help someone with bipolar depression. In general terms, you can helping a person with a depressive disorder following these guidelines:
1. Get informed
How to help someone in depression? It is very important that you understand what depression is, how it can manifest itself and what the treatments for it are like. There are many myths about mental health and depression. Depression is not how it appears in the movies: crying and eating ice cream because something sad has happened to you. Depression is a disorder whose cause is multifactorial. Therefore, you may not see a clear reason and that does not mean that the person does not have depression. As we have seen in the previous section, depression is not just being sad and cryingIt is a psychological disorder that also affects the way you feel and the way you think.
2. Inform him
If the person is not informed about depression, you can help by demystifying this psychological disorder. You can explain to him that it is a disease that he has not chosen and for which he is not guilty at all, that it has nothing to do with "being strong or being weak" and that it is far from a defect. Depression is a fairly common psychological disorder, the subject of much scientific research supporting the existence of effective psychological treatments for depression. About one in five people will experience depression at some point in their life.
3. Question
If you do not know something about the person or how they feel, better ask them, do not take the information you find for granted. What's more, each person can experience depression differently. Therefore, the one who can best explain how she is feeling is herself.
4. Empathize
How to help a depressed person? Even if you haven't had depression, you may have felt emotional distress at some time. Try to understand how this person you want to help feels. Even if you don't understand their reasons, even if you don't share their attitudes, try to put yourself in their shoes and empathize with their discomfort.
5. Postpone
Although depression is a mood disorder, it has been proven through a multitude of research that people with depression have cognitive difficulties: problems in attention, memory and executive functions. Therefore, it is important for the person with depression to put off anything important. You should not make important decisions or perform important acts in this state. Encourage him to put off as much as possible later.
6. Stay present
How to help a person with depression and anxiety? Being present. You can let him know that you are available to help you with whatever you need. Sometimes you don't need to do anything exceptional, just be by their side. If the person doesn't live nearby, you may be wondering how to help a person with depression from a distance. You can apply these tips by adapting them to the circumstances of your relationship, for example, using video calling technology.
In times of social distancing, it is easy for you to wonder how to cheer someone up on WhatsApp. We can use messaging applications as channels to stay connected with that person. You can show your support by being present throughout the day and involving him in your daily activities. You can use resources such as songs, videos, images, voice notes...
7. Respect
As we have mentioned before, there are people who, when faced with a problem, refuse to receive help from their loved ones. Even if you don't share it it is better to respect your space. You can help him in the way the person asks. If she is not comfortable with some kind of help, even if you think it will be good for her, it can backfire. For example, if the person states that he does not feel like cooking, you can offer to bring him food and bring it to him if he agrees. Whereas if he says he does not want to talk about a specific topic, it is better that you do not insist even if you firmly believe that it would be good for him to vent.
8. Listens
How to help a depressed person? Let him know that you are listening by active listening. Allow him to express himself freely When he is with you, he lets his emotions come out and he can verbalize his thoughts. Just listen and help the person feel heard and understood.
9. Do not judge
Related to the previous point, it is important that you do not make judgments about the person and their state. For the person to feel comfortable talking to you about how they feel, you should avoid judging and imposing. There are some that it is not advisable to say to someone with depression, for example: "don't cry", "it's not such a big deal", "cheer up" or "go out a little and it will go away."
10. Recommend to see a professional
If you wonder how to get a person out of depression, know that they need professional help. how to get a person out of depression According to the WHO, 60% of people with depression do not receive adequate treatment. If you want to help someone with depression, let them know that the best option is to go to a psychologist, psychologist, psychiatrist or both. If the person agrees with the idea, you can find information about it and help them with the choice of a professional, even accompany them to the consultation. However, one thing that is very important is that you don't try to be their psychologist. Psychologists are trained for this, we know the mechanisms of depression and existing treatments. This knowledge is based on years of science-based studies. Psychological treatment does not consist of mere advice and it is very important that you do not play as a psychologist without the necessary knowledge.
11. Supports adherence to treatment
How to help a depressed and anxious person who is in treatment? If the person has decided to start psychological treatment, you can help him by reminding him of the appointments and supporting him to comply with what the psychologist or psychiatrist has prescribed.
12. Reinforce healthy habits
Help him maintain healthy habits, sleep schedule, rest time, balanced diet, and avoid substance abuse. Try to help create an environment that is as stressful as possible.
13. Remind him of his qualities
How to help a person with low self-esteem? When a person is going through a depressive episode it is normal for them to see everything much worse than it is, due to the cognitive bias that causes him to perceive others, the environment and himself or herself negatively and pessimistic. Therefore, you can help her by reminding her of her positive points, her qualities, her achievements, and so on.
14. Do not compare
You may know other people who have or have had depression, but as discussed above, depression manifests itself differently between people. If you are interested in knowing how to help a depressed person, you should know that it is not useful to compare the symptoms or the duration of one depression with another.
15. Plan activities
How to help your partner with depression? One of the techniques used for the psychological treatment of depression it is behavioral activation. This technique defends that when the person performs activities that they like, their mood improves. Therefore, if you wonder how to help a person with chronic depression, one of the essential tips is to prepare activities to do together. To start with, think about something simple and requiring little effort for the person, in addition to being aactivity gratify you for her.
Encourage him to do the activity and let him know that you will be by his side. If the person does not feel like it, explain that it is normal that they are not motivated and that it is due to depression, but that if they do the activity, they will feel better later. However, if the person finally does not want to come, do not insist any more. You can try another time. Always with an attitude of understanding and acceptance.
In this article we talk more about how to overcome a depression.
