AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT: what is it, types and consequences

The term "attachment" is extremely popular and tends to be related to interpersonal relationships, but what is it really about? In view of the fact that the term is certainly related to interpersonal ties and socio-affective behaviors in daily life, Psicologia-Online shares with you everything related to attachment, its meaning, types, causes and consequences. There are 4 types of attachment, secure attachment, insecure or avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, and ambivalent attachment. On this occasion, emphasizing what is ambivalent attachment, also known as anxious attachment.

Index

1. What is attachment
2. Types of attachment
3. What is ambivalent or anxious attachment
4. Examples of ambivalent attachment
5. Causes of ambivalent attachment
6. Consequences of ambivalent attachment

There is so much to learn about attachment, starting with the fact that it is generally related to being something negative, or when in fact it is a kind of

Based on the theory of psychoanalytic influences proposed by John bowlby, attachment is considered a kind of affective pattern that human beings develop from birth, and this is directed towards their mother and / or primary caregivers. In fact, it is believed that the greater the number of attachment relationships, the less the child will suffer, since during the first months suffering is present in them when they have to face separation from their mother or her caregivers, for whatever reason reason. It should be noted that, on the part of the child, the attachment emerges from the need for protection and affection, which explains the experience of that suffering that arises before the first year of life, since in that period of time the babies have not yet developed cognitive tools that allow you to understand that a physical separation can be momentary and therefore your attachment figure (mom, dad or caregiver) will to return.

There are four types of attachment, all give way to different emotions and each one is determined by the form of communication and the dynamics with which the mother responds to the child's demand, while the infant experiences emotions in response to this interaction.

• Secure attachment: developed from a reciprocal relationship between mother and child where the mother is attentive to the needs of the child and responds optimally to them. The child feels capable of exploring her environment thanks to the security provided by her attachment figure. People who achieve this style of attachment tend to demonstrate self-acceptance, basic trust, and stable interpersonal relationships.
• Insecure-avoidant attachment: In this attachment style, the child generally tends to behave elusive, cold or elusive, which can reinforce similar behavior in parents or primary caregivers. They show similar anxiety traits both to attachment figures and to strangers. In adulthood they usually act from self-efficacy with executive personality characteristics.
• Disorganized attachment: this type of attachment is characterized by chaotic behavior in which there is no one person who stands out from others in terms of ties affective, but a figure of attachment is sought according to the circumstances that surround it and what motivates the search is to avoid emotions unpleasant.
• Ambivalent attachment: a type of attachment characterized by insecurity and anxiety, caused by learning that emerges from a figure of intermittent apprehension.

For its part, ambivalent attachment, also called anxious attachment or anxious-ambivalent attachment, owes its name to the fact that the established attachment style has an unstable and weak base between one feeling and another, between love / hate, security / insecurity.

Taking into account that the attachment figure (s) are responsible for providing that feeling of security in the minor, by being in charge of a caregiver who does not respond to her demands constantly, the child ends up feeling anxiety and instability. This ambivalence of knowing that you are in charge of a caregiver, but without the certainty that this / a has the availability to assist you when necessary, creates this anxiety and limits your exploratory ability.

How is ambivalent attachment reflected in adults? In this vein, it is understood how there are adults who seem to feel insecure or anxious in their relationships, who deeply fear abandonment and develop emotional dependence or on the contrary they resort to the constant threat of “leaving” as a passive / aggressive instrument towards another person.

Let's look at some examples to identify a child with ambivalent attachment and also some examples to understand what an adult person with an ambivalent or anxious attachment to a partner, family or friends is like:

• As a child, they cry and are distressed if they do not see their mother or caregiver nearby.
• They reject the attachment figure and they look for him almost immediately in an affectionate way.
• They want to stay with the person and for the person to continue the relationship, while they express disgust.
• Oscillation between search and reject.

Children condition their possibilities to explore the world according to the attachment pattern they are developing. There is even research that proves that the type of attachment established with parents or primary caregivers during childhood significantly influences the way they relate during adulthood; be it relationships or friendship. Consequently, certain particular attitudes that we do not understand or find incoherent in people are probably influenced by the attachment style that they tend to establish.

In general terms, attachment arises through the child's need for protection, since feeling safe will be the basis for them to dare to explore the world around them. There is also the affective factor that supposes another priority need in the human being and, in attachment, it is forged through interaction.

Specifically, regarding the construction of ambivalent or anxious attachment, the root is found in the unavailability or late response of the mother or caregiver to the needs and demands (physical and emotional) of the child, such as not being present while injecting (absence in a moment of imminent fear).

Understanding that in all cases some type of attachment will develop, the ideal is for secure attachment to flow, however, and despite the fact that the majority of the population (around 55%) develop this style, the other types of attachment also exist and have a significant impact on the mental health and social development of the individual.

Therefore, a person formed under the characteristics of ambivalent or anxious attachment and who does not enjoy psychological-emotional support she will be more likely to get involved in unstable interpersonal relationships and emotional conflicts due to the duality that living in emotional ambivalence represents.

If you want to overcome ambivalent attachment, we recommend this article on how to overcome anxious attachment.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Ambivalent attachment: what it is, types and consequences, we recommend that you enter our category of Personality.

• Bowlby, J. (1998). Attachment: Attachment and loss. Barcelona. Paidos.
• Moneta, M. (2014). Attachment and Loss: Rediscovering John Bowlby. Chilean Journal of Pediatrics. Vol. 85. (3). 265-267.
• Gago, J. (2014). Attachment theory. The link. Basque Navarra School of Family Therapy.