How many times has someone promised us that they will change and do we trust that person? Does he manage to change or does he only modify his behavior for a while and later act as usual? But the most important question is: can people change?
In Psychology-Online we are going to try to answer this question, but focusing on a specific personality, the narcissist. This personality tends to have a high ego, airs of greatness, and an ongoing need for admiration for those around them. We'll see now whether or not a narcissist can change.
From the point of view of psychology, it is considered that, through the use of psychoanalytic theories and psychotherapies, one could arrive at modify the personality of a narcissistic person and eradicate that socially inappropriate behavior. However, the narcissist is considered by many professionals as an almost intractable patient.
According to Kernberg, in those cases where narcissism does not turn out to be a serious case, no treatment is recommended, because in the In adulthood, when these people get flaws in their narcissistic gratifications, they will tend on their own to modify their behaviour.
But, in those cases where the narcissistic personality disorder already presents a certain level of severity, it is convenient to apply what is known as a psychoanalytic treatment. In this treatment, the patient learns to relate appropriately with others so that these interactions are more pleasant and rewarding. On the other hand, they are taught to understand their emotions and the reasons why they tend to act in the same way. way in which they usually do, that is, with the need to compete, devalue the rest, use the the rest...
However, it is worth highlighting the difficulty in convincing a narcissist that he has to carry out such treatment, since a person with this disorder will not accept that there is something wrong with him and that for that reason it must change. They are proud of who they are and how they act with other people.
People with narcissistic personality consider themselves superior and unique, so they do not understand that the rest of society considers that they have to modify something in them and be different from how They are. For this reason, when they consider the possibility of going to a specialist, they tend to think that the only thing that happens is that the other person is envious of them.
Despite the challenge that this coexistence can be, it is possible to live with a narcissist. However, there are a series of tips or guidelines that will facilitate this coexistence:
- Empathy. We must connect with that person emotionally, but always leaving a healthy distance between our emotions and yours so that, in this way, when there is an inappropriate reaction on your part, it does not condition our emotions.
- Caution. Don't trust him with your weaknesses. Since they are very unsympathetic people, if they know your weak points, they will not hesitate for a second to use them to their advantage.
- Assertiveness. Keep conversations as objective as possible with them. This is because narcissistic people tend to be very fanciful, so if the views of the rest are not the same as theirs they will tend to polemicize everything. Don't try to convince him of your point of view.
- Negotiate. Learn to be a good negotiator. A narcissist by nature will not want to be helped, as he will not accept for any reason that he has a problem. For this reason, it is necessary that you be able to talk about both the limits of one and the other.
- Careful. If you feel that he is exercising his will on you and that you are therefore experiencing the loss of your own self-esteem, do not hesitate to walk away from him.
In the following articles you will find more information about how to live with a narcissist Y how to treat a narcissist.
As a result of his strong egocentric personality, a narcissistic person will not accept with It is easy to have to change and much less will you want a known person to be the one who can to help.
That is why if you really want to support the narcissistic person and help him change, the first thing you have to keep in mind is that you have to have compassion for her. These people live seeking the continuous approval of those around them, and this is basically the result of a lack of self-esteem. They are not able to recognize the real emotions of other people towards them, so a good way to help them is to express what you feel towards them. Here you can read tips to help a person with low self-esteem.
On the other hand, we can teach them those acts in which their humility will be developed and in where you can learn to treat the rest of society as your equals, without feeling like someone higher. But you always have to make you understand what your real achievements and limits are Well, although he will surely have many virtues, he must also understand and learn that he can make mistakes.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
