How to Unmask a Manipulative Person

  • Jul 26, 2021
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How to unmask a manipulative person

All of us have ever fallen into the traps and entanglements of manipulative people. And, to be honest, who hasn't been pissed off by this situation? The feeling of feeling cheated and disappointed can be one of the worst anyone will ever know.

Therefore, in Psychology-Online, we explain how to recognize a manipulative person, what are the characteristics that will help you detect it and how to unmask a manipulative person with simple techniques.

In psychology, the manipulative person is known as one who possesses a Machiavellian personality. These people are usually characterized by having cynical behaviors, without principles and with a tendency to believe that manipulation is the key to success in life.

Manipulative people generally have a lack of morality and concern for others. feelings of others, so they have no regrets about taking advantage of those who surround. You could say that a simple way that they are not able to empathize with the rest of society.

As has been seen in some studies, such as the one carried out by the psychologist Jones (2011), these people are not impulsive at all, but rather They tend to reflect on the way in which they are going to act, which is usually very prudent in order to obtain the maximum benefit. personal.

These people are strongly linked to lies and purposeful deception, that is, they will not lie for no reason, if not that all their deceptions will have a final goal. Usually, they have the ability to detect those people with weak personalities, which will be easier for them to take advantage of. To do this, they look for the weaknesses of other individuals and make them believe that with their help they will be able to overcome them, thereby creating a sense of gratitude and a need to return the favor in the person. It is here when the harmful relationship begins, since a bond is created between the two that the manipulative person will do everything possible so that it does not break.

I am completely sure that we all know a couple in which one of the two people who make it up is manipulative and, therefore, exercises some control over the other. This is nothing strange or new in our world, on the contrary, it is becoming more and more common to see it.

Manipulative people, as we have said, take advantage of the weaknesses and emotional shortcomings of the other person to exert his influence over them and be able to obtain almost total control over his actions and even over his personality.

These people need to feel superior to the rest, so they will have no problem humiliating and discrediting their partner if this is going to lead to an increase in their own self-esteem.

According to psychology, manipulative people tend to choose different types of strategies to exercise your "power":

  • They make you believe that they are victims of society and that everything around them works against them, making it almost impossible to refuse their demands.
  • The dependent manipulator. His goal is to make you believe that you are the superior of your relationship so that somehow you do everything that he "is not capable of doing."
  • They act provocative and challenging. In this way, they get you to do what he wants to avoid a dispute between the two.
  • The discreditor will believe himself to be the best of all, the only one capable of doing anything and will try by all means to highlight the defects of the rest. The only way for them to give you their attention is by performing favors for them.

Here are a series of guidelines that can help you disarm a manipulative person and avoid falling into their entanglements:

  1. Be conscious. All people have a series of unavoidable rights and if at any time of your relationship you feel that one of them may be violated, consider the possibility of being manipulated.
  2. Ask him if the demand he makes is reasonable.. There are times when the manipulative person is not able to realize that what he is asking for is unreasonable, since his only objective is to satisfy his immediate needs. Therefore, if you get the person to reconsider the request, it is possible that they will withdraw the request that they have requested.
  3. Identify their behavior with different people. Manipulative people tend to act differently with different people, as they have to use different relationship strategies in order to achieve their goals.
  4. Keep your distance. I add this point here because if you have managed to see that a person acts in a very different way depending on the other individuals who surround, I recommend that you keep a prudent distance with her and that you avoid interacting directly with her unless it is necessary.
  5. Take your time to reflect. Although we have previously commented that manipulative people are not impulsive when it comes to acting, they are very impatient to know the response to a request they have made, because they know that the longer the other person reflects, the less likely they will say yes to demand.
  6. Say no. Don't be afraid to refuse a request made by them. Many times, we agree to perform certain favors because we feel that we owe them something, however, this is not the case. Be firm in your beliefs and refuse to do what you are not comfortable with or agree with. In the following article, we explain How to learn to say without feeling guilty.
  7. Feel no guilt. Refusing to do a favor is not synonymous with being a bad person or that you are to blame for what happens around you. Make decisions with your well-being in mind.
  8. Be firm in your decisions. Manipulative people are able to recognize vulnerability and hesitancy, so if they have the minimum suspect that in your denial there is a minimal possibility that it will be a yes in the end, they will try to take advantage of it to all coast.
  9. Control your emotions. If they see you lose your temper, they will use this to their advantage, as they will tend to make you feel guilty so that you accept their demands.
  10. Accept their personality. These people are not going to change the way they act, so it will be almost impossible to get them to change their behavior. We recommend that, if you are not able to deal with this type of behavior in a way that does not manipulate you, the best thing you are going to be able to do is distance yourself.
  11. All in writing. If you have the impression that someone is trying to manipulate you and take advantage of you, never make a verbal deal, as they will always use this act for their own benefit.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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