Often the parents of adolescents and people close to them, face an increasingly worrying situation within society such as aggressiveness in adolescence. It is an issue that requires a lot of attention since the number of young people who show aggressive behavior is increasing. But what are the causes of these behaviors? How can they be stopped? These are some of the questions that arise around this topic of social interest. That is why in this Psychology-Online article, we are going to analyze in more depth about aggressiveness in adolescents and namely how to deal with an aggressive teenager.
As we already know, adolescence is a stage of continuous change and transformations at the bodily and psychic level. The adolescent is at a time when he has to learn to deal with all these changes that are emerging and little by little establish her role within society and the family. On many occasions, faced with this long and hard road, in some adolescents they may appear aggressive behaviors as a way of express your emotions although they can also appear due to other factors.
The role that parents play in the education of their children is a key factor in the development of aggressiveness. Aggression includes various types of behaviors, such as physical and verbal aggression, outbursts of anger, fights, threats, yelling, cruelty, etc. It is important to mention that because aggressiveness is a learned behavior, it can also be eradicated and modified by other types of more adaptive behaviors.
It is important to know what are the characteristics that aggressive adolescents have in common, which can even be detected from childhood. The detect these behaviors early it can also help us to eradicate them. Some of the typical characteristics of an aggressive adolescent are the following:
- They have bass feelings of guilt. Children or adolescents who show little or no empathy towards people or animals who are directly or indirectly hurt. So they do not repair their mistakes or feel guilty for what they have done.
- They are usually very impulsive, have poor self-control over their attitudes and emotions.
- They tend to have a poor school performance and negative attitudes towards everything that has to do with the school situation.
- They show a low tolerance for frustration.
- They make aggressive comments.
- They are prone to get into fights with the rest.
- They like to do activities that are related to violence, for example, they have a special taste for aggressive sports, video games, movies, etc.
- The people around you constantly complain about your misbehavior and aggressiveness.
- They tend to provoke others to react violently.
- When they are punished or corrected they get angry.
- They don't follow the rules and rules that are imposed on them.
- They break objects when they are angry.
In this other article we tell you how to treat a rebellious teenager.
After having identified what are the typical characteristics in aggressive and aggressive adolescents, Having understood the origin of this type of behavior, we are going to detail a series of useful tips to to know how to deal with an aggressive teenager and also to reduce this type of behavior, which, as we saw at the beginning of this article, can be eradicated.
Receive career guidance
When the situation has gotten out of control, the adolescent has lost all respect for parents or authority figures, if find yourself very aggressive and can put yourself in danger and / or endanger others, it is very useful to go to a professional to receive help. The professional will be in charge of guiding parents so that depending on their individual situation can take steps to begin exercising authority over their children in a peaceful manner and constructive.
In some situations the adolescent will have to start a psychological therapy whose main objective will be to teach him to handle his frustration in an appropriate way. Depending on the personal situation, psychotherapy could be combined with the administration of some drugs.
Set rules and limits
Parents need to set clear rules and limits for their children at home. For this it is important to bear in mind that both parents have to agree to carry them out since there should not be contradictions between what one says and the other. It is not necessary to set too many rules, however these must be complied with in a mandatory way.
One of the most common mistakes parents make is setting a set of rules and ultimately not fulfill them, therefore the message that is sent to the child is that these can be ignored when they they wish it. It is necessary to know that if you decide to apply a punishment to your children, you are sure that it will be carried out, otherwise it is better not to do so. Some of the rules that must be imposed on the adolescent have to do with the schedules that they have to comply with, their responsibilities at home and at school, rules outside the home, etc.
Start by setting an example
Remember that as parents or authority figures you are the example to follow of the children. Therefore, promoting appropriate behaviors by performing them in their daily lives will help children to imitate them and also end up adopting them. It is necessary to know that if the adolescent usually makes constant provocations to respond with violence and aggressiveness, it is not necessary to fall into her game. Avoid responding with shouting, insults, etc. so that the message of non-violence is transmitted to them in order to reinforce correct behaviors in them.
Never resort to physical or psychological violence
On many occasions, parents desperate for the aggressive behavior of their children choose to hit or verbally attack them to try to get them under control. However, doing so further reinforces this type of behavior. It must of avoid losing control faced with this type of situation, because if not, the only thing that children are taught is that everything is resolved with violence.
If you find yourself very upset and feel that you begin to lose control, it is better that you go to another room to alone and try to calm down, when you feel calmer you approach your child and talk about the situation. To calm yourself more quickly, relaxation exercises based on breathing such as diaphragmatic breathing can be performed.
Promote good communication
Good communication with the adolescent is necessary. One way to do it is earn their trust through understanding and empathy. To do this, you should avoid judging him and even if you do not agree with him many times, you have to listen to him until the end and put yourself in his place to really know how he feels.
Let her know that you are on her side and that you want her well-being above all. In this way you can find out what is really happening to him and why he is adopting these aggressive behaviors. Once you identify where they come from, you can be helped and guided in a better way so that be able to express his anger and frustration in a way that is less harmful to him and to the people who surround.
Have patience
The staying calm is one of the keys when it comes to dealing with an aggressive teenager and yet one of the most difficult things. We must remember at all times that adolescence in itself is a difficult stage that we have all gone through at some point. The adolescent needs the example and support of his parents, especially when he is angry because he is a sign that something is wrong with him and therefore, although sometimes it may not seem so, nothing is happening good. When you are patient, cared for and understood, you will feel more accepted and protected when you need it most.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
