As we know, adolescence is a difficult life stage due to the fact that a series of physical and psychological changes are generated in the person where the period of childhood and the stage of puberty begins to later reach the age adult. Because it is a delicate stage, as parents and / or people close to the adolescent, they are must know how to guide and support in the appropriate way so that they can go through this period. But how can we help a teenager with low self-esteem?
A series of guidelines can be followed at home, at school and in any other environment where you have a lot of contact with your adolescent to help you increase your self-esteem. In this Psychology-Online article, we will give you a series of tips so you can know how to help a teenager with low self-esteem and what is never to be done.
Parents and persons of authority for the adolescent, even without knowing it, contribute daily in the development of their self-esteem through their words and their actions. It is important to be aware of what is being instilled in adolescents every day to recognize if it is truly something positive and if it is not, do something to improve it.
Get used to it to praise him
It is important to praise adolescents for their achievements, no matter how small. However, they should not only be commended for their achievements, but also for your effort and dedication since on many occasions this is not recognized. It is necessary to convey to them the importance of trying and fighting for their goals, explaining that it is not bad to fail but quite the opposite.
Must avoid focusing on the negative When he does not achieve the results he wants, he must be taught to always look at learning from each mistake and then do better. All this will help the adolescent feel accepted and valued, which will contribute to better accept and value himself.
It is necessary to take into account that praise should not be exaggerated and they have to be sincere because otherwise they will be counterproductive, especially in people with low self-esteem. To do this, you have to be successful in the moments in which they are going to be given and that they are realistic. For example, complimenting him by saying that he is the best in the world, that he is the smartest of all, etc. apart from being not sincere, it will cause you to develop an exaggerated ego and, in the short or long term, to have problems in your relationship with others, leading to further deterioration of your self-esteem.
Set rules and limits
It is necessary to know that establishing rules and limits especially at home and at school is essential for a good development of her self-esteem. When there are clear rules and limits that they know must be respected and followed, they learn to develop a sense of responsibility assuming the consequences of her actions when they do not comply.
For this it is important that the rules and limits that are imposed are firm and clear, avoiding ambivalence. For example, if at home the mother says that if she can watch television until certain hours of the night and the father does not respect that rule and lets his son (a) sees her at any time he wants, it can generate confusion in the young person and the message is transmitted that she can transgress the rules when of her want. It is necessary that both parents agree on what the limits and rules will be at home and that they follow them to the letter.
Make constructive criticism
Many times the mistake is made of criticizing adolescents in an unconstructive way, thinking that this will cause them to do better later. When a teenager is criticized negatively, especially if he or she has low self-esteem, it only increases her problem. For example, it is not the same to say: "You did very badly in your English test, you have many grammatical errors, how bad you are with languages", than to say: "I notice that in your written exam you have not turned out very well, however in the oral exam you have done much better, with a little more effort you will be able to obtain the results you want ”.
Promote that you do what you are passionate about
We all have hobbies and activities that we like to do in which we feel comfortable and at ease because we enjoy it too much. Promoting carrying out these types of activities is essential to know how to help an adolescent with low self-esteem. When the adolescent feels supported and accepted, noting that his likes and interests are also important to his parents and / or adults close to him, he will feel more capable and confident in itself.
Allowing him to do the activities that he loves will help him develop new skills, improve your self-acceptanceYou will increase your creativity as well as your chances of being successful doing what you are passionate about and developing your own identity, thereby increasing your self-esteem.
Spend time
On many occasions, when children become teenagers, parents forget to spend quality time with them. Although many parents because of their work and multiple occupations do not have much time for their children, it must be remembered that more than quantity, the time must be of quality.
So it is better to spend 1 hour with the children where all the attention is focused on him, than to spend 3 hours being with him but also watching television, being on the mobile, paying attention to other things etc. All this will also promote unity and good family coexistence, which is very important to increase the self-esteem of adolescents.
Exercise by itself is a great tool to increase emotional and psychological well-being since when doing it our brain secretes some chemical substances such as serototin and endorphins, which regulate our mood and increase our well-being and personal satisfaction.
Doing sports as a team also favors the increase of self-esteem since promotes camaraderie and in this way social relations are also increased. The adolescent has the opportunity to make new friends and these tend to have more affinity with him since they share things in common such as the same sport.
Seek help from a professional
It must always be borne in mind that if the adolescent has extremely low self-esteem, he has problems in one or more areas of her life and is too negative, it is advisable to get help from a professional. Ideally, start a psychological therapy as soon as possible where he will learn to develop self-esteem and self-confidence so that he, too, can achieve his life goals and purposes.
In this other article we will discover how helping a teenager with depression.
You have to take into account a series of tips about what not to do when you want to help a teenager with low self-esteem. Some actions to avoid are as follows:
- Do not minimize what he feels the teenager. If he says that he feels bad about himself, that he is afraid, that it is difficult for him to face various situations, etc. You have to understand it, take it seriously, support it and give it the importance it deserves.
- Don't ridicule him in front of others. You should avoid taking actions or making comments in front of one or more people who are known to cause you discomfort and in whom you are being exposed too much in a negative way.
- Do not criticize or demand too much of him. On many occasions the adolescent may come to think that he has to do everything perfectly and if he does not achieve it, he feels intense frustration, which causes her self-esteem to decline. You have to value what he does, support him and criticize him but in a constructive way.
- Don't overprotect it. Many parents choose to protect their children too much to the point that they make them very helpless and dependent on them, which leads to low self-esteem. The adolescent must be allowed to live his own experiences, supporting him whenever necessary but avoiding overprotecting him so that he learns and matures.
In this other Psychology-Online article you can discover what are the characteristics of a person with low self-esteem so that you value if your child is suffering from this problem.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
