At some point, we've all seen a teenager with behavior problems questioning their parents, and parents complaining about their behavior and not knowing what to do. They find that their child is no longer a child and begins to behave differently once he reaches adolescence. This period is one of the most complicated and unstable in a person's life, in which numerous changes take place that constitute the foundations on which our identity will be built. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to show you some guidelines to follow so you can know how to treat a rebellious teenager.
The behavior of a teenager changes sharply:
- They are usually more nervous
- Less talkative
- They see their parents as enemies
- And, sometimes, they have an irascible or aggressive attitude
In this transition period they demand freedom and they want to be treated as adults while their environment does not accept the independence that the adolescent needs to explore and expose themselves to the world, since they continue to see them as a child.
It is normal that, at times, the adolescent feels disoriented or incapable, he may not have enough strategies to face certain situations, but it is something that he must overcome. Although we refer to them as unruly teenagers, in reality many of them they're just trying to find their way in the world.
Some authors speak that rebellious adolescents tend to grow up in families in which the limits and borders are not well defined, there is poor or scarce communication, and a low hierarchy in which the adolescent occupies a powerful position in the family with respect to their parents, which means that, in the event of a refusal, they present a certain intolerance to frustration, giving rise to rebellious behavior on the part of the Teen.
Here are a series of tips that can provide enough tools to overcome possible conflicts between parents and adolescents:
- Recognize the changes: First, you must acknowledge the changes and accept the fact that your child is no longer a child. This involves many things, for example, he will prefer to spend time with his friends instead of with you, he will no longer play at home, he will begin to express his own opinion of him ...
- Respect their needs: You must understand and respect his needs. You don't have to give him total freedom, but you should at least try to give him more support and allow him to learn from his own mistakes.
- Reset the limits: decide from the beginning the rules that you must comply with, taking into account that they offer you space to decide while respecting the age and skills of your child.
- Be consistent: once you establish the limits and rules you must always comply with them. Being inconsistent shows little seriousness and suggests flexibility in following house rules. The goal is for you to do everything you can to make it comply with the rules, and for that, you must be the first to do it.
- Praise his achievements: try not to compare him to other teenagers and talk about the things he likes and does well. His self-esteem is very important to overcome stressful situations, therefore, reinforce him when he acts appropriately, For example, when he shows respect, praise him by specifying what he does well so that he can integrate it into his repertoire of conduct.
- Listen to him: opens a space for communication. Listen to his problems and try to find solutions with him, this will make him feel respected and valued. When your son wants to talk and you are doing something, he will stop what you are doing or ask him if he can wait until you finish. When you are giving him your full attention, he will feel flattered and will consider you for guidance and support.
- Be an example for him: parents should show good behavior and be a role model. You must interact in an appropriate and respectful way not only taking into account the words used, but also also the tone and other non-verbal aspects, in addition to being congruent with what you want your child.
In this other article we tell you how you can helping a teenager with depression.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
