Child development experts have long believed that when a mother cares for her children, they can face challenges more easily because they know that their mother will always be there worrying about they. In this sense, the child frees himself because he knows that his parents will prevent him from doing something that is too risky or that is not in the best interest for him.
This is one of the positive aspects of worrying about children as it allows them to leave their worry to aside, get out of your comfort zone, gain new knowledge, enjoy adventures and enjoy your childhood. In this Psychology-Online article, we will talk about the excessive worry about children and what to do with her.
Index
- When does a concern for children become pathological?
- Techniques against excessive worry
- How does excessive worrying affect the relationship between parents and children?
When does a concern for children become pathological?
We offer you some usual concerns and the point at which they can become excessive and even pathological worry.
1. Parents often have reasonable concerns about the good health and nutrition of their children.
It is a parent's duty as long as it is not so excessive that it worries them too much, creates undue anxiety, and in turn, instead of free your child to enjoy a good diet and snacks from time to time, focus your attention excessively on the intake of food. This can lead to feeding problems in certain sensitive children who interpret excessive planning on the part of their parents as worrying.
There are some parents who know worry excessively about food and they make children anxious about being too fat or thin, too healthy, too little healthy or start to gain weight and lose weight cyclically or use food as a form of avoidance emotional. The excessive concern for health it is a factor that must be addressed to prevent it from negatively affecting children.
2. Your children's education
It is essential that parents worry about finding good learning environments for your children in and out of school.
Children when they are older begin to feel competition and face grades, exams being able to need to be reminded by their parents that learning is fun, intriguing, and something you do for yourself to enjoy life.
But some parents worry excessively about this issue when they feel the need to check their child's homework every night even though they know it is. good student, they reward or punish for certain grades, they compare their child to other children and, in fact, they can create problems where they really do not there are.
Techniques against excessive worry.
Here are the most effective techniques to know what to do in the face of excessive concern for children:
Put things in perspective
Most of the time, worry is rooted in fear. Worrying is a way of expending energy and we must bear in mind that the things that worry us the most do not have to happen. So instead of focusing on "what if ..." we should consider that many problems are temporary and what will happen.
Think the worst that can happen just for a second
Ask yourself how real the worst possible scenario is. In this way, you can realize that you are thinking in a very exaggerated way.
Act
We tend to worry more when we feel like things are out of our control, but there are certain things for which We can design a plan or strategies and thus reduce our concern about it because we increase our feeling of control. So if you identify what the problem really is, why are you concerned and look for some ways to change it, in this way your concern will decrease.
Take your time
If a problem needs your immediate attention, you should address it, but sometimes putting your concerns aside and waiting a bit to think about it is the best solution. If they are real problems they will not go away, but if we focus on the little things that worry us, then we will not be able to deal with the ones we have in hand.
Breathe, meditate and relax
When you are stressed, you are less likely to find a valid solution. Also, you will not be able to stop worrying if you are physically and mentally in a state of stress. By taking 5 minutes to breathe deeply, meditate, or practice muscle relaxation techniques, you can relax and get the clarity we need to move forward.
Give up control
Sometimes there is no clear solution to a certain situation or you simply need to allow your child to figure it out himself. You will not always be able to rescue your child, you should function more as a guide.
Do not project
When we are worried about something it is important to take a step back and decide if you are projecting your feelings onto your child or if it is really something to worry about.
How does excessive worrying affect the relationship between parents and children?
In a scientific study focused on influence of concerns in the context of child-parent relationships in which older children between 22 and 49 years old (110 daughters and 103 sons) and their fathers and mothers between 40 and 84 years old participated.
- It was found that the concern seemed reflect people's investment in relationships. Parents and adult children felt more positive about their relationships when the other party cared about them and conveyed their concerns. However, at a certain point the more you care about each other you both argue about those concerns, the more negatively the other party views the relationship.
- In a way, it is about social and emotional support to worry and share concerns, but we must do it in a way that does not make the other feel person how incapable of managing their own affairs, since they may feel that we are undermining their autonomy and maintaining autonomy is important in the bonds between parents and children.
- In the study, 70% of adult children stated that his parents' health was his biggest concern (although their parents were not elderly or had health problems), while the parents expressed a wide range of concerns related to your children (health, financial situation, work, family…).
- The authors of this study indicate that parents care about their adult children as a continuation of the patterns that developed early in their relationship, as when children are young, parents are responsible for much part of your life, probably worrying about a variety of things that you are not likely to suddenly give up once your children become adults.
- Furthermore, the study found that daughters cared more for their mother than for their father, while the children did not show differences between mother and father.
So this study confirms that worry is still a very important part of family relationships once children grow up and move out. We could say that up to a point it's normal to worry for children, even if they are adults or worrying about parents, even before they are older and have health problems.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Excessive concern for children: what to do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Education and study skills.
