Assertiveness. Techniques for saying NO to drugs.

  • Jul 26, 2021
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For Lic. Angel Antonio Marcuello Garcia. March 12, 2018

Assertiveness. Techniques for saying NO to drugs.

The pressure exerted by the peer group is one of the factors most associated with the beginning of drug use, as well as with situations of abuse. However, before we start talking about the strategies to follow, if we want to increase resistance to peer pressure, we must clarify a few things. Given this need, in this PsychologyOnline article, we will talk about Assertiveness. Techniques for saying "NO" to drugs.

One of the elements that all the investigations indicate as relevant in the beginning of drug use, is the pressure exerted by the peer group. At this age the group of friends becomes a fundamental aspect for the adolescent. The adolescent is especially vulnerable to peer group pressure because he needs to feel like a participant in him, share the traits that define him, have a role to play in it, feel valued by his friends, etc.

The peer pressure it manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes the Peer pressure can be negative or damaging

. This is the case, for example, of pressure to do harmful or unwise things, such as drinking alcohol, smoking, breaking the law or destroying things. Doing so means being accepted by group members and gaining the appreciation of your friends. Failure to do so may carry the risk of being expelled from the group. There are many strategies that people use to try to convince others to do what we want. Here are some of the most common. It is important that the individual knows them as this will make it easier for him to realize when they are trying to convince him.

However, peer pressure is not always negative. Not always that they try to persuade us is to do something bad; Sometimes others may be right, so the proper way to respond to persuasion is not to consistently refuse to do what they ask of us. The adolescent must learn when it is convenient to resist peer pressure from hers and when it is not necessary. First you should listen to what they ask of us, compare it with what we want and then make the decision for yourself, choosing the most convenient. In this way, we will therefore avoid impulsive or almost unconscious responses.

Steps for respond to persuasive attempts:

  1. Listen to what the other person tells us.
  2. Compare what we want to do with what the other person wants.
  3. Decide for ourselves what we should do.
  4. Communicate our decision. If we decide not to do what they ask us, we must reject the proposal clearly and simply. To do this, it is important to have the ability to say "no" and impose limits on the actions of others if necessary.

As has been shown, learning to say NO is part of a process through which adolescents and youth can resist negative peer pressure. And that can be learned.

Assertiveness. Techniques for saying NO to drugs. - Foreword

When we are going to say "No" to someone, we must be able to defend our own rights while respecting that others may have different opinions from ours. To learn to say NO, it is first necessary to learn to behave assertively.

The assertiveness is a verbal behavior (what is said) and non-verbal (as they say), which defends our personal rights while respecting the rights of others.

Thus, a person behaves assertively when:

  • Know what your rights and personal interests are.
  • He defends them through a series of behavioral skills.
  • These skills allow you to be objective and respectful to yourself and others.

Non-assertive behaviors can be of two types: aggressive and passive. Let's look at the differences between the three:

Passive behavior

Feelings and thoughts are not expressed, or they are expressed in an ineffective, negative and inappropriate way (excuses, without confidence, with fear ...). It only takes into account the rights of others.

Aggressive behavior

Feelings, ideas and thoughts are expressed, but without respecting others, normally emitting direct aggressive behavior (insults, physical aggression) or indirect (sarcastic comments or jokes, ridicule). You only consider your own rights.

Assertive behavior

Feelings, ideas, opinions, rights, etc. are directly expressed. without threatening, punishing or manipulating others. Respect your own rights and those of others.

Characteristics of the passive, adequate (assertive) and aggressive response style:

Assertiveness. Techniques for saying NO to drugs. - Assertive behavior

When a person has taken the decision not to consume, It is important that he has the ability to communicate this fact to others and impose limits on the actions of others if necessary. For this you have to:

  • Find the right time and place.
  • Use correct verb expressions: direct expression, bluntly; "I" messages, short and clear, use idioms like: "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to take it", "would you mind stopping messing with me".
  • Use non-verbal expression, assertive body language (firm and calm tone of voice, eye contact, close distance to the interlocutor). It's about saying it in a kind, respectful and positive way, without being overbearing.

Next we will know some procedures that will help us to communicate to others in an assertive way our decision to "not" consume.

Just say no

It simply consists of saying "No" to any request that we do not like, so that no one manipulates us. The word “simply” refers to the fact that you don't have to think about it to say certain things, since a NO is enough. You do not have to get upset and get angry with the group.

How to do it?

  • Say NO: a simple and resounding no.
  • If the other person insists on her request, continue saying over and over again that No using new formulas: No, that goes, No way, nothing about that, No, etc.

Example:

· "Here, try this with us"
"NOT"
· “Come on, try it!
"No, thanks"
· "But we're going to have a great time!"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· "Come on, don't be an edge!"
"Sorry, but you know NO"
· "Everyone takes them, come try it!"
"No, don't mess with me, I said NO"
· “But if nothing happens, go ahead!
"Very good, but I DON'T want to ..."
· "Are you going to let us all hang?"
“You read my lips. NOT"

Broken record

Consists of the repetition of the words that express our wishes, thoughts, etc., without getting angry or raising our voices and ignoring pressure or diversion attempts by the other person. It is as if the automatic response is recorded, and there is nothing to do! since it arouses in the other the resignation that, before a machine, it is not worth insisting because it will repeat what is recorded as many times as necessary and without attending to new messages.

How to do it?

  • Repeat the phrase that expresses our desire on a specific aspect, even if it does not provide too many explanations.
  • Repeat it over and over again, always calmly, before the other person's interventions.

Example:

· "Here, try this with us"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· “Come on, try it!
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· "But we're going to have a great time!"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· "Come on, don't be an edge!"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· "Everyone takes them, come try it!"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· “But if nothing happens, go ahead!
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· "Are you going to let us all hang?"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."

Offer alternatives

Consists in propose something positive, that people like. Although sometimes presenting an alternative is a lot like “changing the subject”, offering something positive that people like involves a certain wealth of offerings and a certain dragging power.

How to do it?

  • Find something attractive and propose it with enthusiasm.
  • Insist without failing to the possible negative reaction of others.
  • Seek the support of someone willing to follow what is proposed.

Example:

"Take a taste of this with us"
"What do you think if we better make a bet to see who can stand the longest dancing"

For you for me

It is a technique that is used when when expressing our refusal, we can be subjected to pressure, verbal attacks or unfair criticism to try to manipulate us. When we use it we achieve two things: not to get angry when others criticize us, and not to get away with it.

How to do it?

We start from a situation in which another person makes us a request that we do not want to accept. For example: A friend offers us an ecstasy pill and we express our desire not to consume.

  • Previous step: EXPLANATION + DECISION. "I don't feel like taking it, thank you" In the face of any insult or unfair criticism directed by the other, for example: "You are a coward, you don't dare ..."
  • First step: FOR YOU + (Repeat what the critic said): "For you I will be a coward".
  • Second step: FOR ME + (Say something positive about yourself): "But for me I am a person who knows how to have fun." Repeat the process as long as necessary.

Fog bank

It is a technique that is used when when expressing our refusal, we can be subjected to pressure, verbal attacks or unfair criticism to try to manipulate us. It consists of recognizing the reason or possible reason that the other person may have, but expressing the decision not to change our behavior. It is fleeing from risk, without attacking too much the one who says or offers you something. In a way, it's about not getting into discussion.

How to do it?

  • Do not enter into discussion about the partial reasons, which may even be acceptable.
  • Agree with the other person: acknowledge any truth contained in their statements when they propose something that does not seem convenient to us, but without accepting what they propose.
  • Give the reason and the possibility (only the possibility) that things can be as they are presented to us. Use expressions such as: "It is possible that ...", "It may be that ...".
  • After reflecting or paraphrasing what the other person just said, we can then add a phrase that express our desire not to consume: "but I'm sorry, I can't do that", "... but no thanks", "... but I prefer not take it ”.

Example:

· "But we are going to have a good time!"
"You may be right, but I prefer not to take it"
· "Come on, don't be an edge!"
Yes, I may be an edge, but I won't take it "
· "Everyone takes them, come try it!"
It is possible that everyone takes them, but not me "
· “But if nothing happens, go ahead!
"You may be right and nothing happens, but no thanks"
· "Are you going to let us all hang?"
"You may be right, but I don't feel like it"

RECOMMENDATIONS TO "SAY NO WITHOUT LOSING FRIENDS"

1. Before any request that we do not like, related to drug use, say NO: a Not clear, firm and without excuses.

2. Repeat it as many times as necessary (use new “say NO” formulas or use the “broken record”):

· “Come on, try it!
"No, thanks"
· "Come on, don't be an edge!"
"Sorry, but you know NO"
· “But if nothing happens, go ahead!
"Very good, but I DON'T want to ..."
· "But we're going to have a great time!"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· "Are you going to let us all hang?"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."
· "Come on man, roll up!"
"I am sorry. I'm not interested..."

3. If possible, propose other alternatives.

· "Take a taste of this with us"
"What do you think if we better make a bet to see who can stand the longest dancing"

4. If when expressing our refusal, the person who tries to convince us, uses verbal aggression and criticism unfair to try to manipulate us, we can use the technique "For you / For me" or the technique "Bank of fog":

· "I think you are selfish"

"You may be right and sometimes I behave selfishly" (fog bank).
"For you I will be selfish, but for me I am a person who knows how to have fun" (For you for me)).

5. If they insist on us trying to force us, stop giving answers, leave.

Assertiveness. Techniques for saying NO to drugs.

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