Throughout our lives, we all know or have gone through a breakup, many people may have verified that When you are the one who puts an end to the relationship, normally, the people around you do not pay the same attention to you as if they have left. It seems that the fact of having been the person who made the decision was implicit that they will not have the same bad time as if they left you, they forget that making a decision of these characteristics can lead to suffering, uncertainty, guilt and fear of not making the right decision and make a mistake.
In this Psychology-Online article, we intend to help clarify how does the person who leaves her partner feels and if she misses her.
- Is it normal for me to miss my ex if I left him?
- Is it normal for the one who leaves to regret it?
- What does the person who leaves his partner feel, suffer?
- When does the leaving person want to return?
Is it normal for me to miss my ex if I left him?
Many people believe that the part of the couple that puts an end to the relationship has no reason to miss that relationship, but the fact is that ending the relationship with someone supposes A challenge, even if you have finished it.
In that grieving process, sometimes you can miss things about the couple, plans you made together and even the person. Ending a relationship will lead the person to mourn and, as a consequence, to moments of sadness, fear of being alone or the uncertainty of whether you have made the best decision or not. To all this, sometimes, feelings of guilt can be added that can create discomfort when thinking that you have hurt your ex, so it is not easy to be the person who puts an end to the relationship.
If we are based on the theory of the grieving process, if it is normal to miss the partner while experiencing the loss, it is normal to be afraid and doubt whether you have made the right decision. Even so, if that happens, it would be good to first allow yourself to feel this loss and fear and, second, to try to go back to looking for the reasons why you put an end to the relationship and assess whether even today they still seem like compelling reasons or not.
Is it normal for the one who leaves to regret it?
Generally, the person who leaves the other, in the process of adapting to the situation taken, may have moments of regret, as part of the grieving process. Even so, it is also true that at some point the regret, which may have been experienced in one of the phases of the duel, must lead to in a negotiation about the current situation and where you want to take the direction and, later, an acceptance of the decision taken.
If you see that regret is very frequent and you feel that you are not moving forward after having made the decision, perhaps it is time to review your feelings.
What does the person who leaves his partner feel, suffer?
The Leader yes he suffers. Having doubts about something torments most people, imagine if you have them for the future of your relationship. Leaving the person next to you can mean a 180 degree change in your life, so it is normal to have doubts and fears about whether to make the decision.
In addition, once the decision has been made, doubts may also appear as to whether you have done what you really wanted or it was simply a bump that could be overcome or a guilty feeling if you think you have hurt the person next to you. So the myth that the person who leaves does not suffer, is not true, since the mourning for the loss of the relationship is passed by both In addition, guilt can be added to the leaving person, a feeling that on many occasions is a source of discomfort for those who do so. feel.
When does the leaving person want to return?
The leave-behind wants to return when he realizes that the decision made does not meet your expectations createdIn other words, normally relationships end because it is believed that one will be better off alone than with the other person. When reality does not meet the reality that we had in our mind, it is when the person who has put an end to the relationship decides to return to try a second chance.
It can also happen that the part that has been left starts a new path with another person and at that moment the leaving party, when being replaced, feels the need to return. The habit of being he or she who was walking with that person and seeing that the other person has already redone their Life can break certain mental schemes or expectations and lead the person to want to regain their previous relationship.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Does the leave behind miss?, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
- Boss, P. (2001). Ambiguous Loss: How to Learn to Live With Unfinished Grief. Barcelona: gedisa.
- Poch Avellan, C. (2013). Pèrdues i dols. Barcelona: Octadero.