My EX TALKS to me and stops talking to me, why and what to do?

  • Jul 26, 2021
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My ex talks to me and stops talking to me, why and what to do?

When a couple breaks both parties, both the left-behind and the left-behind, they go through a relationship grieving process. In these grieving processes, moments of sadness, anger and doubt can appear. It is a process of emotional instability until adapting to the new reality, the end of the relationship and that the person you shared a lot with is no longer by your side the way they were previously. In this Psychology-Online article we want to talk about Why does my ex talk to me and stop talking to me and what to do about it.

Next we are going to expose some of the reasons that can make your ex-partner talk to you and then ignore you.

You may also like: How to know if my ex still loves me


  1. Doubt if ending the relationship is the right thing to do
  2. Shame
  3. Wants to be your friend
  4. So that you remember him / her
  5. To create desire for you
  6. Has detected that you have a new illusion
  7. Wants to play with you and your emotions

He doubts whether ending the relationship is the right thing to do.

As mentioned above, the end of a relationship is a duel and as such is a moment of emotional instability and of different phases, each with its own peculiarities. In the duel,

at first we can find a denial, the emotional shock received by the ending makes us unable to accept it, that it is too much for us and we don't accept this ending.

In this phase we can detect more messages from our ex-partner, wondering why this has happened, but also we can find rage because this has happened. This anger can cause your ex to talk to you, but it can also cause her to ignore you because she thinks that by talking to you she is dragging unnecessarily. So this may be the reason why your partner talks to you as if nothing had happened and then stops talking to you.

It is worth mentioning that the duel, in most cases, ends up negotiating with the circumstances, what you have lost but what you also have, and that loss ends up being accepted.


This may be one of the reasons why your ex partner ignores you after starting a conversation and is the ashamed of himself / herself to detect that perhaps he has not surpassed you when he or she thinks she should have already. She talks to you because she would like to hear from you And he wants an approximation or she looks for you because she misses you and later realizes that this is to show that there is still something there latent and she is ashamed of it and ignores it.

In this article we explain what to do if your ex writes to know how you are.

She wants to be your friend.

This is a point that we rarely contemplate, perhaps the person has realized that they want to continue being part of the life of her ex-partner but in a relationship transformed into friendship and speaks to achieve this but then she realizes what He does not know the damage that talking to you can cause you and she prefers to ignore and think that perhaps in the future it will be a better time. In this article we talk about whether or not it is possible to be friends with your ex.

For you to remember him / her.

Getting in touch with you is one way to let you know she's still there and that in a way she doesn't want to close the door to your story, but she doesn't want to give her wings to fly right now. This is one of the most typical reasons why your ex writes to you and then doesn't reply. It is a way of not letting you forget yourself and even think about him or her for a second.

In case you want forget your ex, you can read these tips.

In case you think she wants to resume the relationship, she can help you know the signs that your ex wants to come back.

To create desire for you.

Why does my ex open up for me? What is my ex looking for when he writes or talks to me? A message from an ex-partner can create a desire in the other person that they did not have before the message, an expectation, perhaps an illusion that will make the other person seek an approximation with the ex partner. This may be one of the reasons that your ex talks to you and then ignores you, trying to generate interest or desire in you.

He has detected that you have a new illusion.

Why is my ex texting me asking how I'm doing and then not answering? Perhaps the reason why she talks to you again and then ignores you is because in some way, either through networks or by comments from people close to you, he knows that you have found someone and you are getting to know him / her, talking to you can be a form of create doubts and insecurity It made the new relationship possible and that you think about him or her again. Also, if he ignores you later, it can create the illusion that you are creating an intrigue about what he really wanted.

In the event that you observe that your ex-partner does this for that purpose, she speaks with someone you trust and takes steps to do so to protect you and that new illusion.

She wants to play with you and your emotions.

It may be that your ex partner tells you why you don't know how to manage your emotional life and he passes on his emotional problems to you by playing a game of distraction: now I'm talking to you, not now, since I don't clarify myself, I'm going to make you don't do it either. In other words, like the dog in the manger, who neither eats nor lets eat.

In the event that you detect that this could be the situation for which your ex-partner speaks to you and ignores you, it is important that you value how you sit down with you and make a decision to respect, either talk to him or her and give him an ultimatum or block if necessary this person from your lifetime. Love towards other people begins with respecting and loving yourself. In this article we talk about what to do when your ex looks for you, but he doesn't want to come back.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to My ex talks to me and stops talking to me, why and what to do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.


  • Morgado, I. (2019). Desire and pleasure: the science of motivations. Publisher: Ariel.
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