The fact that one person is interested in another person at a time is not a guarantee that this attention will be lasting. Very often it happens that someone is interested in a person but their expectations change in a short time. When your crush loses interest in you, that fact causes you pain, simply because you want the situation to be different.
However, while romantic comedies and fairy tales only speak of happy endings understood in the form of crush, one of the first lessons you can learn from this experience is that your story does not fit that idealism. In Psychology-Online we answer this question:What to do when your crush loses interest?
Accepting this situation as soon as possible is one of the smartest decisions on an emotional level. However, this acceptance is not simple in itself. How can you reach this point?
- Observe the facts of that boy in relation to you. Do not look at how you would like the story to be but at this objective information that gives you feedback on what he feels. You can write down some of these details so that you can reread them later when nostalgia for the past makes you doubt.
- Talk it over with someone else. A trusted friend or a close family member who is a reference for you. By verbalizing the situation to another person, you reaffirm this information to yourself. But, in addition, you also receive constructive advice and support from your interlocutor. What is truly decisive is that you trust someone who is worthy of your trust.
- Change the direction of the question. When you ask yourself the question "why?" You enter a negative circle in which you cannot reach a definitive point over which you have control of the situation. Instead, you can change the direction of the question. For example, you can ask yourself this question:What am I going to do from now on?
- Don't idealize that person in relation to your own life. You have personal resources, resilience, and skills to overcome this disappointment. You are a valuable person, do not idealize that person because when you make him unforgettable, then it is more difficult for you to turn the page.
- Sense of humor. Through literature, theater and cinema you can find examples of stories of heartbreak that are not told from despair and sadness but from humor and comedy. These stories can have a very positive influence on your mood at this time in your life.
The emotional distance it will help you look at the situation with greater perspective Furthermore, the feelings also cool from the distance. What are the reasons that can motivate you to increase the distance?
1. Time to forget
Maybe at some point you decide to maintain a friendship with this boy, however, right now, you do not have the right disposition to decide. Through this personal time you can continue with your own life without the presence of that person in your own story.
2. You don't rule his heart
As much as you would like the situation to be different, you do not have the power to change how this person feels about you. In fact, he cannot do it either, since feelings transcend a matter of will. If you keep insisting, you will suffer even more.
Deciding to walk away at this time can be a therapeutic way to protect the bases of self-esteem at a time when you can feel very vulnerable if you turn this issue into an obsession.
Love is a matter of two. If you have an interest but he does not, then maturity is a logical consequence of accepting this fact. By accepting this point you close the door in the best possible way.
The most important decisions of your life do not only have to be in tune with your values, beliefs and points of view. But also, with reality itself. Especially when it comes to accepting a situation that you cannot change.
You are in a moment in which you are going to ask other people for advice and suggestions as if they had the definitive answer when, in reality, it's about your life. This constant search for advice can be endless, especially when you feel that what you hear is not what you would like to hear. What can you do in that case?
- Watch your future five years from now. How would you like to observe this situation then in relation to your way of acting? The most important decision is the one that allows you to feel good about yourself. That is, choose a decision that gives you calm to close this story permanently.
- Think of the person you unconditionally admire. How do you think he would behave if he were living this situation that affects you?
- Write a letter with five tips directed yourself. Find a quiet place to reflect and write down those ideas. Try to write messages that show a balance of reason and heart.
What to do when your crush loses interest? Get on with your own life.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.