10 feelings experienced by an unfaithful person

  • Jul 26, 2021
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What feelings does a person experience who has been unfaithful

When an infidelity occurs, we usually worry about the feelings of the victim of this, but it can also be a tough process for the person who has committed the infidelity. In Psychology-Online we want to explain what feelings a person experiences who has been unfaithful.

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  1. What does a person feel after an infidelity
  2. How does a cheater feel
  3. What does an unfaithful person feel when discovered and how does he act
  4. Is it normal not to feel guilty after an infidelity?

What does a person feel after an infidelity.

What a person feels after an infidelity it will depend on the type of person, their values ​​and beliefs and the type of infidelity that she has committed.

Thus, for example, a person who until then considered himself faithful and who asks her partner for fidelity, after committing the infidelity may feel regret and guilt. And yet she can repeat that act on more occasions.

There are also people who do not feel guilt. And those same people can feel guilty when they care the most about the person they cheat.

As we can see, there are no concrete feelings for all the unfaithful just after committing the infidelity, but next we are going to see some feelings or emotions that the unfaithful people.

How an infidel feels.

The feelings experienced by a person who has cheated on her partner are:

1. Anxiety

Recurring thoughts appear about the infidelity that has been committed or is being committed, which causes anxiety in the unfaithful. The consequences of her actions appear in her mind: accusation, judgment and social and family rejection, loss of partner and family, etc.

2. Guilt or remorse of conscience

Studies show that 60% of the unfaithful do not feel guilty when he practices infidelity. Except if the cheating occurs in specific circumstances, such as when your partner is hospitalized, when the Infidelity occurs in the couple's bed or when they are more attracted or attracted to their lover than to their partner. Other circumstances in which guilt usually appears are when there is a pregnancy or her partner is currently taking care of the common children.

Guilt does usually appear when infidelity is discovered due to the emotional damage it has on the partner (pain, disappointment, betrayal ...) and in the relationship (estrangement, arguments, loss of trust and complicity…).

3. Fear of being discovered

The unfaithful person often lives in constant fear of being discovered. This can affect your mental health and it is common for irritability.

4. Tension

Living constantly in fear or fear of being discovered produces a situation of stress in the infidel.

5. Indecision

When infidelity is more of an adventure than a specific moment, the unfaithful begins to feel indecisive between his partner and his lover.

6. Sadness

One of the feelings that a person who has been unfaithful experiences is sadness, which can appear associated with the feeling of guilt for the infidelity.

7. Frustration

By keeping her infidelity a secret, the unfaithful person may feel frustrated at not being able to make certain plans with her lover so as not to be seen. He is also frustrated that he cannot tell how he feels about her infidelity because of the danger it entails.

8. Increased self-esteem

Not all the emotions of the unfaithful are negative, if so, there would probably be no infidelity. Among the pleasant emotions and feelings that the unfaithful person experiences is the apparent increase in self-esteem or self-confidence. The unfaithful you feel loved and admired by your lover. In addition, he begins to worry more about his physical appearance and takes care of her appearance.

9. Delusion

The encounters with his lover and his clandestine relationship make the infidel feel new illusions in his life.

10. Energy

All positive emotions are associated with an increase in their energy. He feels less tired and although he is very busy, he manages to make time for his lover.

What does an infidel feel when being discovered and how does he act.

The first feeling of an infidel after being discovered is usually a mix between fear and relief. Although it may seem strange to have mentioned relief, it often happens that after being subjected to so much stress, the fact of being discovered makes you feel relieved.

In most cases, the person who has betrayed their partner keep trying to hide his deception, which usually makes the situation worse and provokes anger in your partner. If you feel identified or identified with this situation, you can read the following article: My partner cheats on me and does not recognize it.

When there is no other option, she recognizes her betrayal and that is when guilt may appear, as I mentioned earlier, to be able to verify the damage she has caused in her partner.

Then comes the perhaps toughest or most feared phase of the infidel: social judgment and disappointment loved ones. The unfaithful begins to experience the consequences of her infidelity and sees that they go far beyond the partner: her behavior is exposed and with a high probability he will be condemned. The infidel eventually becomes a victim.

Is it normal not to feel guilty after an infidelity?

Yes it's normal. What's more, it is frequent for this to happen. It all depends on the type of person, their values ​​and their beliefs.

When someone has rigid, absolute and erroneous beliefs often blame others or the world for their actions. This is why the unfaithful can justify her infidelity and therefore not feel an iota of guilt.

It can also happen when the infidelity has been revenge for an infidelity or some other previous harm from her partner.

The moral norms associated with different cultures or different times can also justify that the unfaithful person does not feel guilt. For example, in cultures where polygamy is explicitly or implicitly allowed. It was common a few years ago to hear women justifying the infidelities of their husbands by "natural condition."

Here you will find helpful tips on How to act in the face of infidelity.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What feelings does a person experience who has been unfaithful, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.


  • Canto Ortiz, J. M., García Leiva, P., & Gómez Jacinto, L. (2009). Jealousy and emotions: Factors of the couple's relationship in the reaction to infidelity. Athenea digital: journal of social thought and research, (15), 039-55.
  • Riso, W. (2015). Practical guide to face the infidelity of the couple. Phronesis
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