How to learn to be ALONE after a relationship

  • Jul 26, 2021
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How to learn to be alone after a relationship

They have made us believe that without someone by our side we are incomplete people, that the natural course of life is to find "our better half" and be with her forever. Or at least go linking couples in order to never be alone. We find that person: butterflies, flowers, violas, a pink color staining our wonderful life. We get used to that well-being, to that new way of life, to that company... and suddenly, bang! It's over. And now that? How do we learn to be without a partner? How to learn to be alone after a breakup? In Psychology-Online we know that it is not easy and that is why we want to help you understand why it happens and give you some advice on aslearning to be alone after a relationship.

From childhood they prepare us both for life as a couple and in society. We have a thousand examples: at home, on the street, in movies, series, advertisements... and in a way it makes sense, we need to be with other people because we are social beings. But nobody teaches us to be alone. What's more, being alone is seen as something bad: "it's weird", "asocial", "a weirdo", and so on.

Furthermore, at a certain age being single or single is a reason for suspicion: we begin to feel the social pressure from our family and friends... "What, when are you bringing someone home?", "You still haven't found the lucky one?" On the other hand, being in a relationship has a lot of social benefits: people see you as someone more reliable, more normal, less suspicious, lots of offers are focused on you, etc. No wonder then that we wish that company.

Also, when we are alright as a couple we feel comfortable, dear and happy to be reciprocated by whom we love. We have someone next to us with whom we share our tastes, hobbies, fears, concerns... someone who understands us, cares for us, pampers us and best of all, makes us feel less alone! We spend time with her and the bond with that person grows, strengthens. But not everything is one hundred percent positive. As we live with her more and more, it is much easier to lose or renounce inadvertently our individual identity. We forget what we used to do when we were alone, how we lived with ourselves.

In this way, It is normal that when a relationship ends it costs us more to be alone. In fact, it is common for even the fear of being alone after a breakup to appear, due to the need to adapt to changes and unfamiliar situations. This reaction can lead to systematically leaving one relationship and starting another. It is essential to learn to be without a partner so that this can be an option and not a necessity. Below, you will find tools to learn how to cope with the loneliness we feel after the breakup. Learn to be alone and not depend on anyone.

How to learn to be alone after a relationship - Why it is hard for us to be alone after a relationship

How to deal with loneliness after a breakup? Loneliness is a subjective feeling. We can be surrounded by people and still feel disconnected from everything and everyone. Alone And on the contrary, it is possible learn to be alone without feeling lonely. How to learn to be alone with yourself?

  1. Positive loneliness. To do this, we must first get rid of the idea that being alone is a bad thing from our minds. Everyone needs to be alone from time to time, what's more, it is even beneficial, since being alone we can relax, reconnect with ourselves and rest from other people. That's right friend, being alone has its positive side! And acknowledging it is another step in learning to be with ourselves. But in case right now you are a little short of ideas, we remind you of some: you can do whatever you want, you don't have to explain to anyone, there are fewer demands on your time, etc.
  2. The self-esteem. Another important element for this relearning is self-esteem. Improve your self esteem It will not only help you to overcome the breakup in a lighter way, but also to be more independent and to trust your own criteria, two essential ingredients to be the queen of your life.

How to learn to be fine alone after a relationship? Thinking about all of the above is very good to begin to know how to be alone, but it is also necessary to specify in some exercises our efforts to achieve this task. So what can we do?

  • Rediscover ourselves. In other words, recovering our hobbies, those things that we were passionate about, or simply that we liked to do, period. As well as exploring new possibilities, finding out what else we love.
  • To meditate. Many people find it very helpful to meditate, mindfulness, etc., since these types of exercises force us to focus on ourselves and disconnect from the outside world, something essential to learn to be alone.
  • Write. About what happens to us, about our feelings, about our future projects, about what we want. To organize our ideas, to express ourselves, to vent, for whatever we want.
  • Do exercise. Not only is it good for your health and to prevent more diseases than you can imagine, but also we release endorphins, serotonin and dopamine that make us feel happier and more satisfied with ourselves.

Being alone shouldn't be a reason for discomfort, but in case you continue to experience difficulties with the feeling of loneliness, it is advisable to go to a psychologist or specialist to better address your case and find the most appropriate plan for you.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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