Having a healthy and stable relationship with someone you love seems like a matter of luck. However, it is important to remember that there are multitude of psychological factors that can influence being lucky in love and that can help us find an ideal partner.
Why am I not lucky in love? Why can't I find a partner when other people do? Why does the same thing always happen to me? Does luck really exist or do you create it yourself? If you are asking yourself any of these questions, you will be interested in continuing reading this Psychology-Online article, here we reflect on how to be lucky in love. Let those who have not suffered for love raise their hands!
- What do all / all of your exes have in common?
- to me?
- Yes!
I'm not lucky in love, what can I do?
If you want to know why is it so hard for you to find a partner, the first step to change your relationship situation is to identify what may be failing in yourself. We help you discover it:
- Having too high expectations. If you are too picky, you will probably never find someone "good enough" for you.
- Have low self-esteem. If you love yourself little, you will not believe you deserve the love of others. Ask yourself: Would you be a partner of yourself?
- Base your happiness on someone else. You don't have to wait for them to accept you or make you happy, your responsibility to yourself is to accept yourself and make yourself happy first.
- Have afraid. The fear of being left alone, to suffer, to fail or to compromise may be driving away that couple that you wait so long for.
- To be excessively introverted. Overprotecting yourself can create a barrier that no one can cross even if you want someone to.
- Starting from a relationship based on illusion that the other changes. When we don't accept others as they are or expect them to do everything the way we want, your relationship will most likely not work out.
- Having wrong beliefs about yourself and about love. If everything has to be "perfect" in your head, you will be rejecting many opportunities.
- Letting someone impose on you that you must be in a relationship. And what if you are single? Ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship, if you feel like it right now. Spend time, meet your personal challenges and live your life, you can share it with many more people, it does not have to be with your partner.
Knowing a person who fits everyone's expectations at the right time is not easy, but you can do a lot to make things go well when it comes to finding the right love. You must focus your attention on what depends on you and you will see how thanks to you your luck will improve.
How to end bad luck in love
How to have good luck in love? Here are some tips for luckier in love:
- Value yourself, work your self-esteem. The truest love story begins with yourself. Write your virtues on paper. Love yourself! If you don't do it, nobody will. Good self-esteem is the basic pillar to attract balanced and mature people into your life with whom you can have a healthy relationship.
- Take responsibility. Accept your mistakes and learn from them. Don't blame the other person or bad luck.
- Work on introspection. Know and enhance your strengths, so you will be more attractive to others.
- Be yourself. Show yourself as you are and act from there, not intuiting what the other person would like. Being yourself will allow you to be more spontaneous. If he likes you, it will be because of who you are, not because of what you appear to be.
- Take care and enjoy. Think about your needs, not only within a relationship, but also on a personal, physical and emotional level. Try to find your own balance, find time for yourself. Do what makes you enjoy, you will feel better and you will be able to transmit that good energy to others, so without realizing it, you will attract love to you.
- Learn from the past and keep a positive attitude. Even if you have suffered a lot in love, get out of the role of victim because otherwise you will be pigeonholed there. Use the past to benefit your present and open your heart. If you don't, you won't have a chance to fall in love again.
- Do not despair! Think about what you are looking for in a relationship. It is one thing to be open and another to be worth anyone. Find out here how to be patient in a relationship.
- Face your fears. Work on your fears, emotional blocks, insecurities that hinder starting and maintaining healthy relationships.
- Develop your social skills. Communicating and expressing yourself assertively is essential to relate in a healthy and empathetic way. In addition, developing social skills facilitates the promotion of emotional intelligence.
- Set limits! To love is not to endure, to love is to surrender without losing oneself. Better alone than in bad company, does that sound familiar?
If you see that the theory is very good but you have a hard time putting it into practice, you may have to find out why it is so difficult for you. Do not doubt contact a professional, psychotherapy can help you. Your goal has to be to find a partner to share your happiness, not to find it.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
