I want to LEAVE my PARTNER but I am PUNISHED, why and what to do?

Leaving a relationship is not easy, it is a delicate and sad situation that causes us discomfort and suffering. Most of the time, when we want to end a relationship, we do not want to harm the other person or for the relationship between the two to change completely. That is when the doubts about whether or not to leave the relationship Since, we are afraid of thinking that we are making a bad decision. Feelings of sorrow and compassion may also appear in front of the other person, it can make us feel sorry leave our partner because we believe that he will have a worse time than us and we want to avoid that suffering. Until? But this thought is completely wrong as it will only cause even more pain. It is for this reason that, in this Psychology-Online article, we will explain the why and what to do if you want to leave your partner but you feel sorry.

Index

1. Why do I feel sorry for my partner?
2. How to work guilt and overcome grief
3. Reasons why you leave a relationship
4. How to end a relationship without hurting

As we have commented previously, we can feel sorry for ending a romantic relationship, since we feel nostalgia for shared moments and / or by think that the other person will suffer as a consequence of our decision. We can also feel guilty for wanting to end the relationship and for not fully accepting that what we feel is completely natural and cyclical.

Many times we lengthen romantic relationships because we feel fear, pain or uncertainty towards the other person, believing that he will not be able to overcome it. Romantic relationships, as well as personal relationships with friends and / or family, have their duration and we must accept and thank them in the most natural way possible.

Each person is responsible for himself, as well as her feelings and emotions. Many times we believe that lengthening the breakup process, when it is out of grief towards the other person, will make it more bearable. And, obviously, each person is a world and, therefore, each relationship has its times and spaces. Even so, one of the most valuable things we have in our lives is time. That is why, if your decision is clear, in the vast majority of cases it will be beneficial for both of you to communicate it to them without extending it. We must find the balance between: listening to ourselves, giving ourselves the time and space to act and empathizing with the position of the other person.

Next we will see how to work guilt, responsibility and compassion to stop feeling sorry for everything when it is excessive:

• Naturalize emotions. Emotions are part of us and we must naturalize them in order to work and accept life processes.
• Accept it. The first step to working guilt and grief towards the other person is to accept that emotion or emotions and feel them.
• Show it. This step is important since, many times, we repress many of our emotions because we think that we are not worthy of feeling them and / or we believe that we cannot be vulnerable.
• Look for the cause. Once you have accepted these new emotions and that probably take you out of your comfort zone, you can begin to analyze their possible origin.
• Introspection. Its origin can come, among many other factors of the fear of new situations and / or experiences out of your comfort zone, of thinking that the other person needs you and is not able to rebuild their life by themselves, of the fear of losing it, from the fear of not knowing how the other person is going to react and / or not knowing how to manage the emotional situation you feel, etc.

The reasons why you want to leave a relationship can be as many as people and / or relationships currently exist. There are infinite possibilities why you decide to start a new path without that person or in a different way. In the end, all possible reasons are based on: you no longer feel the same towards that person and / or relationship. As we have mentioned before, life is full of natural cycles that we must accept as much as possible.

People evolve over the years, each in our time and it is for this reason that the person you met 5 years ago or possibly 6 months ago is not the same as today since, constantly, we live new experiences that are shaping and transforming us to what we are today day.

It may also be that you feel that your paths in life are not the same. For example, you may be awakened by a strong feeling of wanting to travel around the world and your current partner, on the contrary, is at another point in his life. This example can be used with any divergence that is important enough to you to stop sharing your ways.

Once we assimilate all the above information and feel capable of facing the situation, it is time to act. But how do I end the relationship without hurting? It is important to keep in mind that we ourselves are responsible only for our emotions and actions. We cannot take responsibility for the emotions and actions of others.

• That is why, when you make a decision that you think may hurt the other person, and, consequently, you, it is important to do it from the I respect and the good communication.
• It is likely that you have already devoted some time of reflection to this topic and to the emotions that you were / are experiencing, so it is important that you understand that the other person also need a reflection time and acceptance about it.

What if we live togetherHow do we manage it? The fact of living with your partner and wanting to end the relationship makes the process somewhat more complex and, therefore, good communication between the two of you is even more necessary. Clear, sincere and respectful communication is key to be able to carry out a separation with the least possible damage.

What if we have been a long time, How to break a relationship of many years? Previously, romantic relationships began at a very young age and lasted a lifetime. Today, this fact has completely changed and relationships do not last as long as they used to. Even so, if you find yourself in the situation of wanting to leave your partner with whom you have been sharing for many years, it is important that you allow yourself the time of acceptance of emotions that you may be feeling. We must understand that having been with that person for many years does not prevent us from feeling that we no longer want to share experiences in the same way. There are numerous cases of couples who stay for the comfort and conformism of not having the courage to change, even though the feeling of love as a couple no longer exists. We must always aspire to our maximum happiness and therefore not suppress it because of comfort and fear. In this article we explain how to leave your partner without hurting him and without suffering.

It should be added that each situation is completely different from the others and we must mold it according and faithfully to our emotions, needs and happiness. It is for this reason that reach an agreement with your partner so that you know that you do not share your relationship as before, but you can continue to share many other things that make you feel comfortable and happy. In this article we answer the question you will be asking yourself: Is it possible to be friends after a relationship?

Once again, to conclude this complex issue, we must base our actions and words on the path of respect, good communication and sincerity towards ourselves and towards the other person. Love is also demonstrated in the process of breaking up and it is important to take good care of that end of the cycle, just like all the previous ones.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to I want to leave my partner but I feel sad, why and what to do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

• Liberman, R. P. (1995). Marriage Therapy Manual: A Positive Approach to Helping Troubled Relationships. Bilbao: Desclee de Brouwer.
• Riso, W. (1999). Love or depend?. Barcelona: Planet.