Is it NECESSARY to have a PARTNER to be HAPPY?

From small and small we have been taught, through classic stories such as the little mermaid, cinderella, etc., that full happiness is achieved the moment you find true love. As we grow older, we hear the myth of the better half, which indirectly tells us that we ourselves are nobody if we do not have that person next to us who complements us: our half. All this creates in people an unconscious idea that without a partner we are nobody and we cannot be happy. In this Psychology-Online article we will talk about the subject and solve the question: Is it necessary to have a partner to be happy?

Index

1. Why do I feel the need to have a partner
2. Not having a partner affects me a lot
3. How to overcome the need to have a partner?

You can be sad about not having a partner, but it should be noted that this sadness is given because you think there are some needs that you have that are not being covered and you think it is someone else who will be able to satisfy them.

Well, I'm going to tell you a secret, there is a person who can meet those needs, yourself. The myth of the better half, one of the myths of romantic love, has made us believe that if there is not a person by our side it is like we are missing something, and that myth has created us this need to look for a partner to really feel the whole orange. I am going to reveal another secret: you are already an orange by yourself, you don't need anyone by your side to cover anything for you, you simply have to invest the time you spend looking for a partner in yourself and you will see how you You will feel less sad and more satisfied with your life, and beware, you may discover that without a partner is how you like it to be.

Even so, it is worth mentioning that there may be days of everything, because life is like that, nothing happens because one day or two you feel that I wish you had someone by your side to tell you or to hug you. I propose that for these days you make a list of people that you consider important in your life and in whom you can trust and call them, tell them what's wrong with you and how you feel - after all, it's what you might be looking to do if you had partner-.

Remember that It is not the same to be single than alone, that this is an idea that they have sold us from a very young age, but they have not counted on friends, family, co-workers... The myth of romantic love has led us to believe that being single is equivalent to being alone, and that is not true. Therefore, the answer is yes, you can be totally happy without having a partner.

There are people who report depression, frustration and anxiety about not having a partner. For many people, the fact of not having a partner is a very great difficulty for them to advance in their day to day, they look for a Endless and tireless a couple and each person they meet, before they really know them, they already call them a couple for that way satiate that created need, many times, by the myth of romantic love.

The myth of romantic love, seen in many films from small and small, has led us to believe that without anyone to our side as a couple we are not really a complete person, that is what will truly make us happy. It is true that having a partner, if it is a healthy relationship, can make us very happy but to find that happiness with another person we must first learn to be happy with ourselves and love us first and stop looking for what we want to satisfy in other people, because in that gesture of looking for what We believe that we lack in another person, we give the other person too much power to do with us what we want. To truly love, we must first love ourselves and then let ourselves be loved, let's not look for what we don't give ourselves in other people. No one is ever going to know you better than you.

As we have seen, missing having a partner is normal due to the beliefs we have learned, which can even make you feel frustrated about not having a partner and anxiety about finding a partner. What can we do about this situation? How to overcome the need to have a partner, learn to live without a partner and be happy without a partner? Let's start with these 4 points:

1. See the couple as a choice and not as a necessity

When not having a partner haunts you and that idea and reality torments you, it is important to look at all the series and movies that deal with this subject, trying to see how many myths of romantic love, which in reality in relationships do us more harm than good, there are and if you really want to be part of these myths or on the contrary you would like to cultivate another type of relationship that is based more on trust, that you are you and the other other person, both fully autonomous and independent, but what they choose to be together because they want.

2. Value what other people in your environment offer you

Really think about what you are looking for in a partner. On many occasions, you will get things that your environment already gives you, such as family, friends, colleagues or neighborsIn a different way from a partner, but you have it, only right now you give more importance to what you don't have than to what you really have. Live your present and enjoy the people that you do have around you.

3. Detect and cover your own needs

On the other hand, to overcome the need to have a partner, it is very important to look at what you are looking for and you are not giving yourself. Because if you don't know how to give it to yourself, your partner might not either. To love you have to start with yourself. In this article you will find exercises to work self-esteem.

4. Practice hobbies

It is important to seek hobbies, be it singing, painting, drawing or playing sports. In the first place, to escape from what worries us and, secondly, to spend time with you with something you like. In addition, dedicating time to activities that you enjoy will bring you well-being, so your frustration levels will be reduced and you will feel more joyful. All this will allow you to relate more calmly with others and feel more secure and open to meeting new people.

5. Make a list of compliments

Many times, sadness or the need to have a partner comes from a lack of confidence in ourselves. ourselves, we feel that we are not enough and that is why we need someone and in turn we are not with no one. With this list you will strengthen your self-esteem and you will see that you are everything you need and that way you will also transmit it to the rest. If you see that this exercise costs you a bit, you can ask your friends to help you by telling you all the good things you have. You can read more about How to increase self confidence and about exercises to be more confident.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Is it necessary to have a partner to be happy?, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

• Beyebach, M.; Herrero, M. (2010). 200 tasks in brief therapy. Spain: Herder.
• Duque, E. (2006). Learning for love or for violence. Relationships at nightclubs. Barcelona, ​​El Roure.
• Ferrer Pérez, V., & Bosch Fiol, E. (2013). From romantic love to gender violence. For an emotional coeducation in the educational agenda. Faculty. Journal of Curriculum and Teacher Training, 17 (1), 105-122. Available in: http://www.redalyc.org/articulo.oa? id = 56726350008
• Gomez, J. (2004). Love in the risk society. An educational attempt. Barcelona, ​​El Roure.