What is PHILOPHOBIA and how to OVERCOME IT

Do you know what philophobia is? You may have never heard this term before, but surely you have heard the term commitment phobia more than once or even know someone with a fear of commitment.

But what can be done when it is the partner himself who experiences this fear? What if the question is that you yourself suffer from philophobia? This Psychology-Online article is intended for all those who want to know what is philophobia, as well as some solutions and strategies against it.

Index

1. What is philophobia
2. Symptoms of philophobia
3. Causes of philophobia
4. How to overcome philophobia

Philosophobia is defined as a feeling of high intensity of fear of commitments. Normally, it refers to the fear of committing to another person on romantic terms. The mere possibility of a commitment generates a great state of stress and restlessness in philophobic people, conditioning their mental health and their relationship with the other person.

It is a totally irrational fear, not being a choice or claim on the part of the person who suffers it. For this reason, one should avoid blaming someone who suffers from philophobia, since it is normal for this person to have a bad time due to this philophobia. Here you will find more information about what is fear.

What is a person with philophobia like? There are many clues or signs that a person is a philophobic, some of them could be identified very easily, and include:

• Avoidance behaviors and flight from the possibility of starting a relationship, or that arise when a relationship is formalizing or settling.
• A high level of stress and anxiety of the philophobic person, showing restlessness and irritation. This occurs especially in situations of interaction with people with whom they are creating links or there is the potential possibility of creating them.
• "Self-imposed" isolation and lonelinessActually triggered by fear and fear, these people tend to isolate themselves, due to the avoidance of relationships mentioned in the first place.
• They establish strong emotional barriers, avoiding sharing their feelings with others, including this both in the form of verbal and non-verbal communication. That is, they may show an absence of gestures or that these are "abnormal".

Many experts indicate the highest incidence of philophobia in those people who have suffered trauma or present anxiety disorders or from personality disorders. Therefore, it is established that two clear causes of philophobia are, on the one hand, aversive experiences to which the individual been exposed, resulting in these traumatic to a greater or lesser extent, and psychological disorders of various kinds, on the other side.

Another of the main causes of philophobia is undoubtedly failure in previous relationships. Either referring to a friendship, a relationship or a more than cordial relationship with a colleague or coworker. When a relationship that has been very important to us breaks down and, especially if conflicts have arisen, consequences can appear, such as philophobia. This, which at first may be perceived as something normal, may, if not treated correctly, lead to serious social and personal problems.

In order to face philophobia, it must be analyzed very in depth, evaluating its severity and intensity, as it is necessary to consider whether it is best not to try to face it alone and go to a professional. This is very important, since on many occasions, without the help of a person specialized in this type For psychological problems, treatment can be complicated, making it increasingly difficult to overcome this phobia.

The first thing to do is, without a doubt, looking back, evaluating and analyzing those events or experiences that may have marked us and from which this fear of commitment may derive. Any painful breakup? Have you been abused or taken advantage of in any area of ​​your life? Do you identify an event or event that clearly constitutes a trauma for you?

Having clear the cause or, at least, having an idea of ​​the possible causes, it is time to put a solution to the problem. Some tips to start working to overcome philophobia are:

• Communication: It is vital, really fundamental, to express fears, turning them over and seeing them from another perspective, sharing them and releasing ballast. Sharing it with other people, especially with a psychologist, helps to open up, gain confidence and find ways of solving fears, therefore it is also key to express that philophobia.
• Seeking professional psychological help: As we have already mentioned, the solution to philophobia will be facilitated if we have the help from a psychologist, who helps us work on our insecurities and fears in a effective.
• Emotional management works: It is very useful to know and try different tactics and exercises related to the management of our feelings and emotions. Techniques like meditation, the mindfulness, relaxation exercises, analysis of thoughts or autobiographical writing, can help you to correctly identify and manage your own emotions.
• Be patient and constant: a problem that has arisen as a result of experiences and experiences cannot be eliminated in one fell swoop. For this reason, long, constant and continuous work is necessary to be able to treat philophobia and live with fear without it being disabling.
• Don't run away: Although it sounds difficult, or even impossible, it is necessary to eliminate the avoidance of relationships, because if we run away the problem will only make it worse. It may be really difficult at first, but through exposure, the discomfort generated by situations that are aversive to us will gradually diminish.

These tips will also work if it is not you, but your partner who has philophobia. In the following article you will find more information about how to overcome fears.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is philophobia and how to overcome it, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

• Betz, N. E., & Serling, D. TO. (1993). Construct Validity of Fear of Commitment as an Indicator of Career Indecisiveness. Journal of Career Assessment, 1(1), 21–34. https://doi.org/10.1177/106907279300100104
• Russo, Luciana. "Today we are going to talk about... fear of compromise." Journal of Psychology - GEPU, 2010, p. 9+. Gale OneFile: Academic Report, Accessed 22 Nov. 2019.
• Serling, D. A., & Betz, N. AND. (1990). Development and evaluation of a measure of fear of commitment. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 37(1), 91.