Shyness is not a defect, but a personal characteristic. Yes, it can happen that a person has a high degree of shyness that negatively affects important decisions in her life. For example, a person may feel that her shyness closes doors in the realm of social relationships and seduction. How to have a girlfriend if I'm shy? If you ask yourself this question, in Psychology-Online, we guide you in the answer giving you all the keys.
Here are five tips that can help you win that girl you like:
1. Don't look at shyness as a flaw
When you ask yourself this question, you are giving too much weight to this particular characteristic of your way of being. You are identifying yourself in an absolute way with this trait, but, in addition, you are interpreting it as a limit. You are more than your shyness, this characteristic does not represent your absolute being.
2. Don't pressure yourself
Each person has their own rhythm and it is important that you stay true to yours. Listen to your inner voice to define the times with which you feel comfortable meeting another person. For example, you may feel more comfortable with the idea of a love that grows out of friendship.
3. Accept yourself as you are
Your level of confidence in yourself it improves when you maintain a positive relationship with you. Observe your strengths, virtues and qualities. It may happen that you perceive your shyness from a certain point of view, while whoever observes you from outer shape makes a totally different appreciation when seeing the charm and sensitivity of this quality.
4. Train your social skills
The discomfort you feel when you get out of your comfort zone when meeting new people increases when you keep yourself closed in and in your usual circle. It is recommended that you try keep an active social agenda and that you open the door to the possibility of meeting new people in new settings. For example, new training courses, through mutual friends or through online dating sites on the Internet. What are your hobbies and in which spaces do you feel comfortable?
5. Check your beliefs
Observe your immediate surroundings to realize how other people who are shy enjoy a stable relationship. When you ask yourself how to have a partner if you are shy, it is very likely that at the base of this question there are limiting beliefs that lead you to believe that there is some kind of difficulty in this possibility. And in that case, it is your beliefs that limit you, not your shyness.
In the following article, you can see more tips to stop being shy around women.
Through a process of love coaching you may set sentimental goals that you carry out through the elaboration of a personalized action plan. This action plan is individual because it is very important that the protagonist feels comfortable taking the steps in the desired direction. The love coach offers a process of constant accompaniment to the client.
This is a method of personal empowerment that positions you as the protagonist of your life and decision-making on the sentimental level. Therefore, you find the answers within yourself.
If you feel that the experience of shyness prevents you from developing fully in this facet of your life or you would like to develop new tools and resources to manage those situations in which your shyness increases, you can assess the possibility of carrying out a process from love coaching to know yourself better.
In the following article, we explain how to overcome extreme shyness in adults.
A first date is an especially significant moment when two people want to give each other the opportunity to meet. Here are some ideas for this first date:
- Choose a place where you feel comfortable: It is very important that you make a plan in an environment where you feel good, for example, a cafeteria that you have already visited on previous occasions.
- Ask questions: It is not about turning a first date into an interrogation. However, by means of the resource of the question used in moderation you can put the focus of attention on the other person. When the other person takes center stage, you enjoy listening.
- Conversation topics: You cannot anticipate the date before living it, however, you can plan some details. For example, make a selection of conversation topics that you can introduce during this first meeting. What are some of your favorite topics? Pick some of them for this first date.
- Show your shyness: Why hide shyness when the important thing is that two people know each other as they are? Live this first date trying to enjoy it, but do it from yourself and your inner truth, do not demand to be who you really are.
- Be patient: When you get to know the other person better, if you want to keep dating them more, you feel more comfortable in your company, since trust is always fed from the experience of sharing moments in common. That is to say, relativize your own shyness because anyone who is in this moment experiences a certain feeling of discomfort when leaving their comfort zone. However, this feeling of uncertainty is also linked to the motivation for falling in love.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
