Conflict is a normal part of children's lives. Having different needs or desires or wanting the same things can lead children to conflict with each other. Common ways infants respond to conflict include arguing and physical aggression, as well as more passive responses, such as backing off and avoiding each other.
Children are much happier, have better friends, and learn better in school when they know how to handle conflict well. Therefore, in this Psychology-Online article, we tell you how to resolve a conflict between children, conflict resolution techniques and steps to resolve a conflict between infants with activities and examples.
Resolving conflict effectively requires that children have a combination of social and emotional skills well developed. Some of these skills include emotion management, understanding of others, effective communication, and decision-making. Children need a good guide to learn these skills. Learning how to use these skills in combination requires practice and maturity. However, children with good adult support can gradually develop their skills to resolve conflict independently.
Let's see the skills and techniques necessary to resolve a conflict between children are:
- Managing intense emotions. To develop this skill, emotional education is essential. In this article you can see How to work on emotions in children.
- Verbal expression of own thoughts and feelings. To help you develop this skill, you begin to identify and communicate the thoughts and feelings in your presence.
- Identification of the problem and expression of one's own needs. To develop this skill in children, encourage them to talk about their own wants, needs, fears, or concerns without demanding an immediate solution.
- Understand the perspective of the other. To foster this ability, you must encourage them to listen to what others want or need, to understand their fears. or concerns of others, understand the other without the need to reach an agreement and respond in a appropriate.
- Generate various solutions to a problem. Encourage him to think of various options and to try to include everyone's needs and concerns.
- Negotiation. To help him practice this conflict resolution technique, encourage him to be flexible, open, and look out for himself and other people's needs (assertiveness).
When conflict is mishandled, it can negatively impact children's relationships, self-esteem, and learning. However, teaching social conflict resolution skills can help significantly. There are some steps you can take to make resolving a conflict between children easier:
1. Calm and distance
Give everyone a chance to take a breath from the other. Ask them what they need to calm down. Something that can be done is that they distance themselves from each other, walk, count to 10 or write what they feel on a piece of paper. What we must not forget is that, in any case, nothing coherent will come up in an argument with angry and emotionally fragile children. So ask them to determine the best way to calm down before trying to solve the problem.
2. Identification and understanding of the problem
Once the children are calm, talk to each of them (at the same time or separately, depending on the circumstances) and help them identify their problem. Emphasize the importance of being honest and admitting to each other in conflicts. Encourage them to express their feelings about the problem and to listen to the other.
3. Proper apologies
A good apology will communicate three things: regret, responsibility, and remedy or solution. Apologizing for a problem may seem difficult, but it will help repair and improve relationships with others.
Encourage each child (or just one, depending on the circumstances) to give the other a good apology. Writing it before saying it can be a good start, and then that letter can be delivered to the other child. In the case that the children are small, you can give them an example of how they can apologize. The children's apology It should include:
- The word "sorry."
- Recognize what has been done wrong.
- The solution of the situation.
- Better conduct promise next time.
- Asking for forgiveness.
However, a bad apology is one in which the infant tries to justify her words or behaviors, blaming the other, with excuses and minimizing the consequences.
4. Search for a solution
Ask the child to brainstorm ideas for resolve your conflict assertively. For them it is very tentative to ask the adult to generate solutions, but it is good for them to seek, think of solutions and reach agreements on their own. Encourage each child to listen carefully to the other and to speak kindly and honestly.
5. Tracing
Follow up with the children to see how they are getting along and if the agreed upon solution has worked. If the strategy of talking together and figuring it out on your own doesn't work, it's best to suggest a strategy. This follow-up can help remind them to listen and interact with kindness.
As we said before, something fundamental when resolving a conflict is to put yourself in the place of the other and arrive at the solution that is best for everyone. Therefore, emotional skills such as empathy are also needed. Learning the ability to recognize and appreciate feelings and needs, even if they are different from your own, is essential. Skills for empathy develop over time and include:
- Acknowledge your own feelings.
- Acknowledge the feelings of others.
- Learn social skills.
- Listen to the opinions of others.
- Think about what it would be like if you saw the situation your way.
- Think about how you can respond in a caring way.
- Do something to help.
If you are interested in learning more about how to teach children, you can continue training as child educator hand in hand with Euroinnova Business School, since they offer a multitude of quality, approved training courses 100% online.
We must not forget that the roles of parents they are very important in supporting children to learn kindness and empathy.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
