My son hits me and insults me, what do I do?

Being insulted or assaulted by your child can be very frustrating and embarrassing. In some parents it can generate great despair, many worry about the reason for the aggressiveness of their children and feel guilty, they believe that they have failed in something. Most children have hit someone at some time, how you respond to that aggressive reaction will influence them to act that way again. In this Psychology-Online article we are going to show you some guidelines to follow when your child hits or insults you.

Index

1. Aggressive reactions in children
2. Why does my son hit me and insult me
3. Tips for acting when our child hits or insults us

Children can react aggressively physically (hitting, pushing…) or verbally (yelling, insulting…). These reactions are normal in children, especially when they are less than 3 years old, since it is often their way of communicating as they cannot express themselves in words.

But when they are older (4 to 7 years) it is common to see these reactions when they are tired, frustrated or simply do not feel heard or understood. As these types of attitudes get older they should disappear, since they must

In this other article we tell you what to do when a child does not speak and only screams.

There are many possible reasons why a child hits or insults his parents. Here are some of the most common causes that can help you better understand your children:

• Sometimes it is because they are frustrated because they don't know how to deal with their feelings in a more appropriate way.
• Other children can do it because are unable to inhibit their impulses and they react aggressively without having thought about the consequences or possible response alternatives.
• Sometimes hitting parents can be used as a form of manipulation to get what they want.

The main reason any child tries to hit us or insults us is because of an attempt to have control or feeling powerful in a situation. This happens, for example, when you say "stop", "why are you yelling?" or "how many times do I have you what to say don't do that? " and you usually get more aggressiveness, screaming or even laughing at you. In this way, the child continues to try to satisfy his need for power that he never gets.

In this other article we tell you how to treat a rebellious teenager.

Due to the importance of our way of acting in these types of situations, we propose some guidelines that can help us:

• Set clear and firm limits with our actions: we must specify what is appropriate behavior. Here the quantity is not so important, it is not necessary to establish many rules, but the ones we decide put into practice must be specific and understandable, and most importantly, that our child respect.
• Regulate our emotions and behave with respect: we must learn to recognize and understand our emotions in order to teach our child to do so. We are there to support you and help you understand these new emotions.
• Must be a role model: if we want our child not to react aggressively, we must not be aggressive. If our son insults us, shouts or even hits us, we must behave in a way that is consistent with what we want, and that is why the best option is to remain calm and be empathetic, so that the interaction leaves the aggressive tone and our son does not assume the abuse as something normal.
• Train empathy: Learning to put yourself in someone else's shoes and to understand that things can be seen from different perspectives can be a protective factor.
• Beef up when he does not respond aggressively: this is how we show him that we value what he does and that we know how to see the positive side, we can ask him about his likes, show him affection ...
• Give it time and space to calm down: when he is upset it is not appropriate to talk to him, he cannot listen and he does not reason. It may be best to give him some time to relax, and when he is calmer, we will talk to him about what he has done, and we will explain why it has not been well. Only when he is calm will he be able to express his true feelings and intentions.

If your child often acts aggressively, to the point that he scares him and upsets the whole family, it is important that he seek professional help.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to My son hits me and insults me, what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Socialization problems.