Trust is the basis for all types of relationships and, when it is lost, it can even destroy relationships irreversibly, so if your partner has lied to you, either because she has been unfaithful, has hidden important things from you, or in some other way has broken your trust, it is very likely that even if you have decided to forgive her, you will find it difficult to believe in that person.
That is why in this Psychology-Online article, we are going to provide you in detail with a series of tips that will be very useful so that you can know how to trust your partner if he has lied to you and regain your peace and emotional tranquility.
Index
- Things to keep in mind to regain trust in your partner after a lie
- Tips for knowing how to act when faced with a lie from your partner
- Things you should NOT do if you want to trust your partner again
Things to keep in mind to regain trust in your partner after a lie.
You may be afraid that this situation will happen again in the future, you are constantly on the lookout for what will happen next and what you are experiencing some discomfort and resentment, which to a certain extent is normal for you to experience, especially when this situation is recent. But if you have freely decided to give it another try, time has passed and you keep wondering
Trusting again is a process
Keep in mind that it is impossible for you to trust a person who has lied to you overnight. A person gains our trust over time through his actions and when it is loses, so that he can recover it it is necessary that he start a process again to win it another time. To do this, you must be patient and don't despair, since the more time passes and the more experiences you have with your partner that generate security, you will feel more comfortable (a) and without realizing it, the trust in your partner will return.
Keep in mind that you decided to forgive your partner
Remember that if you decided forgive your partner's lies it is because surely you have enough reasons to have done it. You probably have the conviction that this relationship is worth maintaining and that this person is worthy of a new opportunity. Focus on it and make it motivate you to be calm and trust your partner again.
A new opportunity to continue growing
Learn to perceive this situation as something more positive and stop visualizing only the negativeBecause if you keep doing it you will feel worse and worse and it will be impossible for you to trust again. Having been through a difficult situation and trying to re-foster and build trust in the relationship It is another experience of knowledge and growth, not only at the level of the couple but also individually.
Tips for knowing how to act when faced with a lie from your partner.
Focus on the present
The discomfort you feel is the product of constantly remembering things from the past, so even if you are in the present good and things have improved, if your mind continues to constantly travel in time, you will not be able to experience the well-being of the today. So whenever you are experiencing emotional distress, pause and realize where it comes from, is it really coming from the present or is it coming from the past? And redirect your attention to what is happening in the here and now. A tool that can help you a lot so that you can achieve it is meditation practice.
Stop waiting for your partner to lie to you again
If you are constantly on the lookout for when you will receive another delusion, you will never be able to be calm. It is necessary that just as you have been training your mind to surprise your partner by lying to you again, you train it to stop doing it. How to do it? Every time you catch yourself spying on your partner, being aware of what they do, etc., distract your mind on something else, listen to music, read, go for a walk or simply continue with what you are doing paying full attention to that, accepting that you had that thought, but not giving it as much importance.
Accept the uncertainty
You have to accept that really since before your partner lied to you and with all the partners that have had and / or could have later, you can never be completely sure that you are not being lied to. That's a risk that has to be run with all kinds of intimate relationships and no one is saved from it. However. it is a risk totally worth taking. since it is possible to be happy and be comfortable in a relationship despite that.
Couple therapy
If you have tried by all or almost all means, but still do not know how to trust your partner if he has lied to you, an option that you can take into account is that attend therapy together. It must be taken into account that depending on the situation and circumstances, on many occasions. trusting the partner again becomes quite difficult, however. With the help of a professional and enough desire to get the relationship going, it can be done.
Things you should NOT do if you want to trust your partner again.
Do not leave everything in the hands of your partner
In order for your partner to regain your trust, it is necessary that you also do your part. If you dedicate yourself to waiting and depending on what the other person does for you, you will not be able to be at peace with yourself. Recognize what you can do to increase trust between the two of you and get on with it too. When your partner feels that he is equitable and that you are also contributing, he will feel more motivated to do better.
Don't continually blame your partner
Remember that not only you can be having a bad time, the person who has lied may be carrying the blame that having done it generated him, as well as trying to do his best to make amends for his error. When reproaches appear, the situation can become even more complicated and the guilt that the other person may be feeling, Above all, if she has not been able to forgive herself, it can lead to her acting in a way that she does not want to, increasing her frustration and impotence. Although on many occasions you almost feel the need to recriminate things from the past, do everything possible so that those reproaches become requests and suggestions what you could do to improve in the present.
In the following article, you can see other tips on how to nurture love in the couple.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to trust your partner if he has lied to you, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.
