How to get over a breakup when you quit

On many occasions it seems that if you are the person who puts an end to a relationship, you have no right to be wrong, in the end you have made that decision. Many people find it difficult to understand that making the decision to separate from your partner can be a very hard process where things go wrong and, once made the decision, contradictory feelings may appear, even so it seems that you can not show it much because after all it was what you wanted. In Psychology-Online we want to give you 7 tips on how to get over a breakup when you leave it.

Index

1. Talk about what you feel
2. You accept
3. Forgive yourself
4. Remember
5. take care of yourself
6. Detect and express needs
7. Write

Communicate with your closest environment. Inform them of your situation and how you feel about it, because many times the environment does not know what the person who leaves their partner feels. On many occasions, if the environment is shared, it tends to provide support to the person left behind, it is necessary that You can also express how you feel and even, if you need to, explain what led to taking that decision.

On the other hand, you can also express that in relationships, unless you both completely agree to end, there is always a party that makes the decision, but that is not to stop loving, on the contrary it can also be an act of love because the person next to you deserves someone who loves him like you do not do it today in day, leaving a relationship is an act that requires courage and sometimes not everyone is capable of doing it. In this article we explain why a person does not leave her partner despite not loving her.

Although it is also possible leave your partner loving her, due to other circumstances.

The first step so that the rest of the people can offer you help is that you accept your situation, nothing happens because you have contradictory feelings and Even confused about the decision made, it may happen that on the one hand you are fine but on the other you see the other person suffer and feel bad for it. It is very important not to judge yourself in this situation, it is normal and it can appear. Remember that on many occasions we are a mirror for other people, if you accept that contradictory feelings may appearAlthough they may be annoying at times, but also normal due to the situation, it will also be easier for other people to support you. For this you can do meditation exercises with acceptance, in them you can practice accepting the now without wanting to change anything.

When we see that someone is having a hard time because of a decision we have made, the guiltWe must be vigilant because this feeling can drag us down and stifle us and prevent us from enjoying many things. For this, it is important to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness towards oneself is essential For any recovery process, we have made the decision in relation to different aspects and we should not feel guilty about it.

• To reduce this feeling, it may be good to write a list with everything that you are tormenting yourself with and blaming and finally exposing or manifesting that you forgive yourself for it. This exercise will allow your backpack on your back to weigh a little less.
• Another exercise that may also be helpful is writing a farewell letter to guiltExplain to her why you think she should not be there, that the decision you have made has been for your good and as an act of courage and love, towards the other and towards oneself.

Here you will find more tips to forgive yourself.

You have made the decision for some reasons and you have the right to end a relationship when you decide, so it is also important what you repeat to yourself when feelings come to you contradictory why did you decide to make that decision. This technique is very useful when we have certain doubts, our environment seems to even judge us by the decision made and we are still adapting to the new one. reality without the other person, remembering what made you make that decision and not losing sight of it makes you stand firm and relativize your feelings contradictory.

Is it normal to regret leaving a relationship? When making a decision that involves such a big change, all times of feelings can appear. Conformity with the decision will need to be assessed.

It is very important not to forget about ourselves. On many occasions it happens that whoever puts an end to the relationship is more aware of how the other person is than how one feels. For this it is important spend time with yourself with those things that make you connect with yourself and your inner peace, be it reading a book, listening to music, making a home spa, doing sports, meditating, etc. You should be able to find a time a day to connect with you. In this article you will find more information about how to get over a breakup.

Address this conflict that may cause you to have left your partner, that the environment may not fully understand and the possible mixed feelings ("I know I don't want to be with that person anymore but I still miss him / her") through your own strengths. When a need is strengthened, the problem loses its weight. In addition, the fact of facing the separation from the needs can help the environment to better understand your position, your discomfort and of course, your needs. To do this, we can ask ourselves the questions:

• What things make me feel good?
• What are my needs?
• How do I see my problem in relation to my needs?
• What can I do to meet those needs?

A way of face the duel and your emotions after ending a relationship may be making a farewell letter, saying goodbye to everything you leave behind, to the things you already wanted to leave behind and to those that perhaps not so much but are left as a result of the separation. Once you have said goodbye and have expressed everything you feel - remember that all emotions are necessary and valid and you should not judge yourself by them - continue the welcoming letter to the new experiences that await you after that decision. You can even add if you have a plan or a new goal in this section. It will help us not only to process the loss but also to offer a hug to the new experiences that are to come, something very important when we talk about overcoming a breakup when you leave it.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to get over a breakup when you leave it, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.

• Beyebach, M. and Herrero, M. (2010). 200 tasks in brief therapy. Spain: Herder.
• Boss, P. (2001). Ambiguous Loss: How to Learn to Live With Unfinished Grief. Barcelona: gedisa.
• Poch Avellan, C. (2013). Pèrdues i dols. Barcelona: Octadero.