Why DOES MY EX IGNORE ME and what do I do?

Ending a relationship is never easy, much less if it is the other person who ends us. For this reason, we often try to continue to maintain contact with the other person, however, these efforts are often frustrated when the ex deliberately ignores us.

This is when a feeling of emptiness and anger is created because we cannot understand how a person with whom we had a strong bond can go from loving us to completely ignoring us. In Psychology-Online we will try to explain in the best possible way why is your ex ignoring you and what can you do about.

But, before starting we must bear in mind that the reasons can be very diverse, starting from the basis of whether it was us who ended the relationship or whether it was the other person.

Index

1. Why is my ex ignoring me
2. My ex reads my messages but does not answer me
3. My ex ignores me but doesn't block me, why?
4. My ex ignores me and it hurts
5. What to do when my ex ignores me

If the other person has been in charge of ending your love affair, it is very likely that the fact of keeping your distance and ignoring you may occur as a result of the different feelings that may be experimenting. The most likely reasons your ex ignores you are:

1. The person continues to have feelings for you

Many times couples do not end the relationship for lack of love, but because they see attitudes in the other person, behaviors with which they are not comfortable, so, before continuing to suffer and being unhappy, they decide finish with her. So if this is the case, your ex might try to keep their distance so they can completely forget about you.

2. Just play with you

In our society there are many people with manipulative personalities, who only want to feel a deep admiration and dependence on the part of others. When these people end a relationship, their only intention is to check to what extent you are able to go to get it back.

Therefore, if at any point in your relationship you have thought or felt that you were dating a person with the characteristics of a manipulator, just ignore it too.

3. Needs more time

Understanding the causes of a breakup can be a painful process. This point is more oriented in cases in which you have been the one who has ended the relationship.

Usually couples who break up try to break up with the other person in a peaceful way, trying to continue to maintain a good relationship. However, despite ending up in this friendly way, there are times when exes need more time to process why you broke up with them. This does not imply that he will ignore you for the rest of his life, simply that he needs to understand why your relationship ended.

4. Has already gotten over the break

This can be said to be the case in which nobody wants to find ourselves since, unconsciously, it is a hard blow to our pride. Since assuming that someone has stopped loving us can be difficult. Especially when our self-esteem is not totally solid and stable. If it really makes you feel very bad that your ex partner has gotten over you, it is that you base your love of yourself or yourself on whether or not others love you.

These cases are easy to identify because we usually realize this when we try to recover Our ex-partner and this openly refuses to return, stating in a categorical way that she no longer feels anything and that she has overcome.

New technologies have taken breakups to a new level of dependency since, previously, when you broke up with the other person, it was more difficult to maintain contact.

However, now, thanks to instant messaging, we can try to keep in touch with her through messages, audios, calls, etc. But, this attempt at contact is not always reciprocated, right?

There are times in which messages are sent which are read by the recipient, but without any response and this creates in us a feeling of pain and abandonment. But before making hasty conclusions for the reasons why the message is ignored, multiple possibilities must be taken into account:

1. You are no longer a priority in his life

It must be understood that once the relationship is over, your ex-partner has no commitment or obligation to you, so she may or may not speak to you. If he does not answer you, it is because surely you are no longer a priority person in his life.

2. You are meeting someone else or are already in another relationship

At this point you have to understand that if the other person is initiating ties with a third party or is already in another love relationship, it is very common for them to avoid any contact with her ex-partner.

3. Your ex is resigned, angry, or upset

That they finish us is always painful and a hard blow for us, so we have to understand that if we have put an end to a person, they can be hurt by our decision. So, when you see a message from us, the first thing you think about is deleting it and ignoring us in this way. return the damage that we have provoked by leaving him.

4. You want to apply contact 0 to turn the page

It is usual that to avoid falling back into a relationship that they do not want to continue, they decide to avoid and ignore their ex-partner at all costs, including her messages and attempts to get in touch.

Again, the reasons why people act in this way can be very diverse and are often related to their personality.

Take the case of a manipulative and narcissistic person, who has ended a relationship or has been broken up. Despite knowing that they are no longer together, they need to feel that the other person has a dependency on them, so they will unconsciously try to remain present in their lives. And what better way to do that than by offering them the opportunity to get in touch with them whenever their ex wishes to?

People who continue to have feelings towards their ex-partner also act this way, so even though the relationship has ended they cannot put an end to a contactor possibility of contact. So even if they don't reply to the messages their exes send them, they know they can get in touch with them at any time.

It is normal to feel damaged and frustrated when we try to maintain or create contact with one person and our attempts to do so are completely ignored by the other person.

As we have been saying throughout the article, when a relationship ends, the feelings towards the other person, so if we are ignored by him, what could be named as a double penalty.

This double penalty is formed by the feelings of abandonment and indifference. And while it is possible that the relationship was ended by us, that does not indicate that we cannot feel abandoned when we have the feeling of being ignored.

Therefore, you have to know what it is completely normal and understandable feeling hurt when we are ignored by the other person.

You will have heard a thousand tips about what to do if your ex passes on you. However, how you want to act in this situation is up to you alone.

We leave you some questions and situations that can help you reflect:

• What phase of the breakup are you in? If you have just broken up, it is highly recommended to keep some distance with the other person. If, on the other hand, some time has passed, things change.
• Have you tried to contact him or her? We cannot regret that the other person ignores us if we have not tried to initiate contact with them either. Now, if this contact attempt has been made but has been ignored, it may be due to one of the reasons previously stated.

After analyzing your own situation and that of your ex-partner, you will surely see that it is understandable that your ex-partner does not want to have contact and therefore you must give him his space. You too have to turn the page and forget about your ex-partner.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why is my ex ignoring me and what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.

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• García Palza, D. F. (2014). Narration of the duel in the love break. Ajayu Organ of Scientific Dissemination of the UCBSP Department of Psychology, 12(2), 288-307.
• Peña Rubio, D. C., & Castaño Valencia, M. C. (2018). Coping styles and the grieving process in the face of a couple breakdown in a former young adult couple.