Dialogue is one of the keys to communication in a relationship. However, emotional responses can be varied in different situations. For example, it may happen that you have initiative and willingness to talk with your partner, while your partner responds with his silence. This form of action responds to a scheme that shows a type of manipulation and blackmail that hurts.
Whoever acts in this way falls into the trap of believing that he has the absolute reason for the situation. It is positioned in silence, in the absence of words, from the wrong perspective of thinking that the other person can interpret and deduce exactly what they want and what they need. "What to do if my partner does not speak to me?"If you have asked yourself this question on more than one occasion, at Psicologia-Online we help you find the answer.
Index
- Why does my partner get angry and stop talking to me
- Why don't you talk to me
- What to do when your partner does not speak
Why does my partner get angry and stop talking to me.
In consultation it is common to hear phrases such as "my boyfriend does not speak to me", "my partner does not speak to me", "she is angry and I talks "," my girlfriend doesn't talk to me "," why doesn't she talk to me? "," my partner ignores me "," my boyfriend is angry with me and doesn't talk to me ", etc. Some people take the silence as a reaction to anger and that confuses and annoys her partners.
It is appropriate for each person to establish their strategy to manage your emotions. Some people, after an argument or anger, need a quiet or calm time to relax and continue the conversation at another time. If you have not talked to your partner for days, it is neither the right nor the best thing for the relationship. The lack of communication prevents the resolution of couple conflict and it makes the situation worse.
Why don't you talk to me.
If your partner has stopped talking to you and you don't know the reason for his attitude, it is normal for you to ask yourself: Why isn't he talking to me? Below we will explain why your partner behaves in this way.
By means of silence he positions himself on the defensive. But, in addition, also avoid facing the problem as an adult. When your partner chooses silence, he leaves you alone in the face of that fact and closes the door of any collaboration since when you ask him questions, he does not respond.
This situation inevitably hurts and is even more uncomfortable when both have already given the step of coexistence. Then, silence becomes a tool to hurt the other in the different encounters of the day.
The psychological game of confusion is latent since, it can even happen that you ask him if he is angry and, nevertheless, he denies it with a categorical "no". A monosyllable that follows the line of that silence freely adopted from immaturity.
The risk of this type of behavior is that the person does not express what happens to him, while the partner also ignores this fact. In this way, from the same event, each one has totally different readings. And if these interpretations are not shared, there is a lack of understanding.
What to do when your partner does not speak.
What to do when your partner ignores you? If your partner doesn't talk to you, don't give in to blackmail. How can you act if you experience a situation of these characteristics? Here's what to do when your partner doesn't speak:
1. Complacency is not the solution
This type of situation generates so much discomfort that the person who lives with indifference Your partner may adopt the attitude of complacency as a means of ending the distancing. The risk of this response is that, when a couple repeats this pattern of behavior, does not solve the conflict true.
The desire to please your partner leads you to prioritize their needs while ignoring yours. This type of emotional sacrifice produces an unequal effect in the relationship because by acting in this way, you reinforce your partner instead of correcting their attitude. It is best to let him know that this behavior is not appropriate through assertive communication.
2. Don't let yourself be conditioned by guilt
In a situation of this type, it is important that you see what happened in perspective so as not to allow yourself to be contaminated on an emotional level by the feeling of guilt that you may experience. Wait for your partner to change their attitude to speak calmly about what happened. You can assertively express to him that when he wants to talk about what happened, you will be happy to do so.
3. Be patient
What to do when your partner does not speak? Do not enter the psychological dynamic of begging for forgiveness because if you are at that point, everyone has to do their part to correct mistakes. Be patient and wait until your partner shows a new attitude. What exactly does it mean to be patient? Carry on with your life, continue with the normality of your routine. That is, keep taking care of other aspects and issues of your existence that are also important to you and demand your attention.
Then it is a good time to talk not only about what happened, but also about your behavior and how it made you feel. You can give concrete examples focused on describing external events instead of taking the assessments to the personal level.
4. Establish your conclusions
This situation can help you reflect on your expectations positive in the relationship. In that case, you can openly state what your limits and your needs are. For example, your partner deserves respect, but you deserve it too.
If this situation of silence in the conflict is repeated frequently and your partner shows a different attitude when he regrets, the help of a professional may be necessary to improve communication between both. However, by itself, this dynamic does not lead to empathy but to distance because the resentment that is generated between the two is increasing.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What to do if my partner does not speak to me, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.
Bibliography
- Cañete, E. P., & Novas, F. P. (2012). Resolution of couple conflicts in adolescents, sexism and emotional dependence.
- Morfa, J. D. (2003). Prevention of couple conflicts. Desclée de Brouwer.
